geoff says - car boots cornwall
The day we moved from MITCHELL to St Columb Major, the reason? Posted: 21/08/2018
The Wedding;

David Leggo the Landlord of Mitchell told me ages ago that he had agreed to allow a wedding on his land at Mitchell to life long friends so for that Saturday we could not hold our very popular weekly Car Boot on his land. I decided to transfer the Car Boot to St Columb Major 8.5 miles away according to Google it will take you 12 minutes to get to St Columb from Mitchell but with heavy traffic add a further 15 minutes. We put large signs out to advise customers of the move for the one week we put it on the website we put 1000 leaflets into sellers and buyer’s hands to advertise the move, we told people in person about the change and we put over 40 directional signs to advise and remind motorists of the change! Could we have done more FFS?

I decided to stay at Mitchell and man the gates with my man Paul nicknamed Rock On (why I do not know) to direct traffic for those who had not seen the publicity or had just bloody well forgotten but the abuse that we got was quite amazing as we stood there like ‘schmooks’ trying to point drivers to take the slip road for St Columb when they stop all traffic to find out wassup! We give them leaflets with the post code then they want to hold a conversation with us whilst other traffic is held up FFS! 2 customers with deaf aids that did not seem to be working so we have to mime to in the middle of the pigging roundabout and doing jerking movements “FO down the slip road FFS!!” One car pulled up with a couple of regulars and I told them about the move she gets a fit the giggles saying “Oh yea I already knew that” ‘So why the fuct didn’t you tell me FFS’ roars the ugly 18 stone husband who truth to tell had an enraged face like the he had built up a huge fart that was ready to explode FFS ( the twat) He drives off around the roundabout a further 3 times before he finally took the eefing slip- road into oblivion with her finger wagging at him as his unfriendly eyes ‘they kept looking away from each other FFS’ I certainly did not envy their short journey. There were other drivers who were furious and raging about the change completely losing their minds in their child seats by screeching their tyres in a rage as they take their miserable sodding faces to another part of Cornwall. I mean, WTF is everybody so miserable about FFS and why be so efin dramatic about sod-all and a slight inconvenience because we had to move the Car Boot to another location and as I pointed out ‘what about the bride and groom’ to which one disgruntled old fart said in abbreviations “I don’t’ GAF about the king bride and groom bollocks to them they can FRO” How charitable you old sod, hope your rabbit dies FFS! It has to be said clearly and precisely that the antagonism came from oh yes, you have guessed it correctly the miserably sods yesterday’s drivers MEN of course!! I mean I got called a bald-headed old twat by two different drivers FFS ‘so I put my cap on’ to save any further abuse from a certain section of our community known as the irritable and aggravated bowel syndrome school of wankers FFS!! That made Rock On laugh.

WE had both taken all the insults on the chin, we had done a good job diverting the traffic to a location that had never had a Car Boot Sale on a Saturday before but the bonus was to my great surprise there were over 100 sellers with a huge crowd of buyers, I also thank my team who had done a wonderful job, I thank all of our customer new and regulars for your continued support on a very successful day but there always has to be someone who wants to rule the roost and spoil the day, this time by a foul-mouthed bleached blonde black roots not very nice woman.
I always keep ‘an emergency space’ by the entrance into the selling fields in case Para-medics or AMBULANCES or any of the Emergency Services need immediate access. At the main gate directing large volumes of traffic at St Columb we had a very capable member of our team and an ex-policewoman whom our customers know as Cheryl, she has lively friendly attitude towards her job she has a great PR attitude towards our customers, she is conscientious and totally non-confrontational. Whilst dealing with 100s of incoming and outgoing vehicles she noticed a woman stop her car right in the middle of the flow of exiting traffic, she goes up to Cheryl demanding “I am going to park my car in that space there” Cheryl advises that the space is not for parking it is an emergency area only! “Well, I am going to park there” then she resorts to a serious and grossly offensive swearing tirade against Cheryl with liberal use of the eff word and as a final insult she calls Cheryl a fcuking CNUT!! She parks her car and on seeing me came storming up saying that she demanded to be parked in that space “Because I have got a bad shoulder” ‘Well, haven’t we all’ I replied with a suggestion of disbelief and sarcasm!!
I could tell that Cheryl had been seriously offended by this loud mouth I told the woman to ‘move immediately and go’ but not content with her former abuse but she still wanted to have another go to give Cheryl a further “Piece of my mind and sort her out” with your bad shoulder? FFS!! How very stupid! She joined the departing queue and left still raging. Cheryl later told me the details of the woman’s abuse and threats and her alleged bad shoulder. The way she was waving her arms around in her stupid childish and immature rant did not suggest there was anything wrong with her shoulder. (maybe her brain needed a ‘reality check) Other customers had seen and heard this incident with several actually complaining to me about her language, we were well rid of her!
The wedding was a great success.
If the cap fits........
Reply to geffers999@hotmail.co.uk
Posted; HOME PAGE 18/08/2018Posted: 19/08/2018
Heavy mizzle at St Columb therefore the Car Boot for 10.00 am is cancelled. Sorry ......... ..........................! Sellers should arrive at least one hour before the start times at all locations! Thank you to all buyers and sellers who contributed towards a very successful changeover for one week from MITCHELL to St Columb Major today! To the ones who were rude and threatening to my team members you can 'blow up your brown pants FFS!!' Which reminds me a thug local bloke threatened physical violence towards my missus at TRURO last Sunday, I cannot wait to see him this SUNDAY, we have made a report to the Police about his threat of PHYSICAL VIOLENCE and he is BARRED from all CBC locations. ............................................................................................... PADSTOW is now END OF SEASON! Next year we will hold the SALE on WEDNESDAYS which were successful in previous years. Thank you to those who supported PADSTOW! Geoff
Geoff Says
Reply to geffers999@hotmail.co.uk
This has just arrived in my junk mail! WAALOBs!!Posted: 18/08/2018
I am Ayesha Qaddafi, I am writing this mail with tears and sorrow from my heart asking for your help at this time, I got your contact while searching for a trustworthy someone who will understand my present condition and come to my rescue here in Algeria where i am relocated now to Oman, I have passed through pains and sorrowful moment since the death of my father and brothers, all our Foreign and local accounts have been blocked and we are not allowed to make transfer or receive money from any country or source.

I received an urgent email from Oman government who stated that the new Libya government are tracing hidden deposit of my late father which he was deposited will the one of the bank in Burkina Faso,Then i don't want them to be aware of this particular funds ($35.5 Million dollars) deposited in BIB Banquet International Du Burkina Faso. If you can be of any assistant to me, kindly get back to me so that i can furnish you with the full details and the full contact address of the BIB Bank in Burkina Faso country to enabling you contact them for the final release of the funds to your onward accredited account in your country.

I am willing to reward you bountiful will 50% while i myself will also share 50% has equal between both of us,If you are sure that you are interested to gain this opportunity with me kindly contact me immediately via my private alternative email;below (missayeshaqaddafi@outlook.fr ) for more details

Thanks and may Allah bless you
Miss Ayesha Qaddafi

I mean, what an absolute load of bollocks and why pick on me FFS?
Do you ever get pleading emails from people who you have never met in your life then suddenly they are offering you countless thousands and millions if you would let them have your bank details so this load of imaginary dosh can be safe in your account and for security they ask for your credit card details then the fcuk off with all of your money and you end up with sweet FA! FFS! I mean some of these foreigners do try to take the piss out of us Cornish folk especially with a surname like Qaddafi, sounds like Mad Colonel 'Gaddafi' Duck of Libya FFS!
Reply to geffers999@hotmail.co.uk
SATURDAY we move from MITCHELL to St Columb Major for ONE week only at 12.00 noonPosted: 13/08/2018
NO MITCHELL this SATURDAY it has been moved to St Columb Major for ONE WEEK ONLY SATURDAY at 12.00 noon! TR8 4JA
WE will move for ONE Saturday only from MITCHELL to St Columb Major on this SATURDAY at 12.00 noon! The Reason is; The Landlord at MITCHELL agreed several years ago for a family member to hold his wedding and reception at MITCHELL Car Boot location this SATURDAY only hence we will transfer the event at 12.00 noon to St Columb Major, nothing more sinister that that! Tell your friends please. Thank you. Geoff
Mail – geffers999@hotmail.co.uk
Reply to geffers999@hotmail.co.uk
Phyliss Funeral arrangements;Posted: 09/08/2018
Phyllis’ funeral will take place at Penmount Crematorium on Friday August 17th at 1.30pm. Family flowers only but donations if desired for The Friends of Falmouth Hospital may be sent to Keith Penrose Undertakers at Mawnan Smith.

If you knew Phyllis and would like to mourn her passing at the crematorium or join the family for tea and cake to celebrate her lovely long life at Falmouth rugby club from 2.30 pm then please do join us.
We chose the rugby club on a Friday because of Phyllis’ many happy times at the car boot there over a period of 20+ years.

Sent from my iPhone
yyy 026
Reply to geffers999@hotmail.co.uk
Phyliss the plants and weeds lady has died peacefully.Posted: 06/08/2018
Dear Geoff and Lou
Just to let you know Phyllis died peacefully yesterday with her family by her bedside at Falmouth hospital.
Thank you to everyone who sent cards , Phyllis loved receiving them they brightened her days and her room!
Funeral details to follow with everyone very welcome to attend.
Kind Regards

Sent from my iPhone
Reply to geffers999@hotmail.co.uk
Rare (but not insanely) Jimi Hendrix record bought for a quid at FALMOUTH CAR BOOT SALE and sold for £304.00!Posted: 30/07/2018
What about this knowing nothing about records Mandy walked around the stalls at Falmouth whilst new husband 'golden balls' is looking after the stall and her pick up this record and says to the seller 'How much is this please' "Yours for a quid" Sold!
Now then her takes the record back to their stall and says to new hubby Rob "Look what I bought is it any good it was only a pound' As a man with a big heart and a tight fisted B'stard to boot he immediately gives new wife Mandy her quid and immediately hyper- ventilates as he realizes the record could go for 'big money' so he puts it on e Bay and it sells for £304.00 quids mate!

These two are absolutely dedicated to the TV Poldark series in fact they both go weak at the knees at the sight of the main male character but forgive me I do not know his name nor do I want to, anyway the dreadful BBC series recently had a showing of the latest Poldark tripe here in Cornwall when hundreds of square eyed fan followers awaited the arrival of Poldarks main man who did not have the courtesy to show up to the besotted gathering! 'Kick the bugger off the set' that's what Geoff Says, some fans were crying (hilarious fun) FFS that is such blatant rudeness and arrogance SACK HIM!!'

Back to Rob and his £303.00 profit, well done son it could not have happened to a nicer couple and I am sure Mandy who is a former page 3 model of Page 3 newspapers the Times and Telegraph or so I believe. Rob has had some really lucky purchases over the years hence the title golden balls!
Well done Falmouth Car Boot Sale for offering such a bargain!!

Ps; I might be wrong by calling them Mr & Mrs cos rumour has it they are going to have a big Poldark wedding with all the guests dressed up as the daft Poldark series. Whatever turns you on, if I find out the time and date I will let everybody know on Face-book so hundreds will turn up and Rob will have to buy them all a drink from his profit dear of him!
Bought at Falmouth Car Boot Sale for £1.00 sold for £304.00 on eBay!
Reply to geffers999@hotmail.co.uk
PHYLLIS the plant lady very poorly, for those who remember her a card would be most appreciated, please. Posted: 28/07/2018
From Jan daughter in law of Phyllis;

Hi Geoff,

Just for info Phyllis / Sheila is very poorly and now in Falmouth hospital for palliative care. She was 93 on the 14th July. She is on Boscawen ward and I wondered if anyone who remembers the plant lady would like to send her a card just to brighten her day. She’s in good spirits and is reflecting on her lovely long life with her family around her. Falmouth car boot gets a lot of mentions!

Kind regards
Jan ( daughter in law)
Sent from my iPhone
Our Phylis...X
Reply to geffers999@hotmail.co.uk

SUNDAYS at TRURO at 12.00 noon and St Columb Major at 1.30 pm (subject to weather and ground conditions!
DO NOT FORGET Truro is on at 12.00 noon and St Columb Major starts at 1.30 pm It will not be decided until the day of the Car Boot Sale at TR
Starts - 12.00pm
@ 'HEARTLANDS' in POOL starting July 3rd
Starts - 12.00pm
@ We have moved THURSDAYS & TUESDAYS at 12.00 noon
Starts - 12.00am
@ NEWQUAY Chapel Farm TR8 4NY
Starts - 12.00pm
@ FALMOUTH EVERY FRIDAY definitely at 12.30
Starts - 12.30am
@ MITCHELL (TR8 5FD) SATURDAYS at 12.00 noon
Starts - 12.00pm
@ TRURO SUNDAYS weekly at 12.00 noon 2nd JUNE!!
Starts - 12.00pm
@ St Columb Major (TR8 4JA) Every SUNDAYS at 1.30 pm
Starts - 1.30pm
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