Well the rumour trail is sizzling hot at the moment with more gossip than I can cope with so let’s start with the juicy true news about us and Car Boots Cornwall (CBC) and Car Boots Cornwall Catering (CBCC) we have decided after years of having outside Caterers that it is high time Car Boots Cornwall should run its own Catering at all of our locations. In this respect since the appointment of Becky Steadman as our Manager we have had several meetings and it is her wish that to forward the growth of our business we would be better suited to deal with all Catering and food issues ourselves of which Louise and I will give her our full support.
Becky and I have purchased on behalf of CBC two Catering Trailers which are at present being liveried and prepared for serving our customers the traditional menus expected from Car Boot Sales and we will introduce a Vegetarian section which we are certain will be popular with those Veggies amongst us. We will update the news as it happens in this respect keeping you all informed of progress.

POOL MARKET! Rumours abound since I have been seen at Pool Market with the owner and her management team with loads of people jumping to their own conclusions, it is fair to admit that negotiations between both parties have progressed over recent weeks but we not in any position to make any statement that any agreements have been reached. I appreciate the enthusiasm and confidence many traders have shown in respect of my personal involvement with POOL MARKET and I hope that agreement could be reached within time however I would like it to go on record Geoff is NOT buying Pool Market unless you all help out by putting a couple of GRAND each towards the purchase my lovers. I have great respect for the Management of POOL MARKET let’s all see what happens, shall we?

The situation regarding dogs was livened up by old fat lips who bent down to stroke a dog when the dog leapt up to the man’s face and lo and behold the dog did bit old fat lips stapling top and bottom into a bloody mess confining fat lips to life with a bloody pillow and not a lot of food! What a lovely way to lose weight me lovers! And guess what his name is Percy, get it Perce or Purse for short, get it PURSE your lips or to the Irish ‘Pierce your lips my lovers’ I nearly pierced myself laughing!

Anyway, Manager Becky and I were sitting in the car at Newquay last Saturday waiting for the sellers to pack up and go home from the 5.00pm Car Boot, the Fruit & Veg man Joey had just left when we both noticed a small dog squatting to have a poo right next to where Joey had just vacated! Without further ado Becky left the car to go grab the dog and as she picked it up it completed its poo as she held it almost under her arm like a set of bagpipes! She then went to the remaining car booters “whose dog is this”? She enquired. No-one claimed the mutt and as she was returning to our car to decide what to do with the dreaded dog a car drove into the field and out stepped a regular ‘very hen pecked’ man who has at times been a pain in the arse. He had brought the dog to the car boot sale earlier and driven off forgetting all about putting the dog back into his car! “Your wife would not have forgotten to take the pooch home with her does she know that you left it her”? I asked. He totally ignored my question and was given a poo bag to clean up the mess and put it into his car ‘with the dog’ Now then, I am not a shit stirrer in any way but I cannot wait to see him and his missus again I can almost hear me saying to his beloved “Did he tell you about the day he drove off forgetting the dog and leaving it to crap under Joey’s Fruit & Veg stall”? I cannot wait!

Today at Falmouth I was at the top gate with Jackie supervising the traffic when a man weighing about ten stone with a very strong Glaswegian accent walked in with two very large long haired Alsatian dogs and I told him “Sorry you cannot bring your dogs into this Car Boot Sales there is not enough room between the Car Boot aisles to walk the dogs and besides that if you have a dog on each hand what chance have you got of spending any money on any of the stalls”? Then the insults to my intelligence started with the man demanding to ‘speak with the owner of the boot sales’ I did not introduce myself but Jackie stepped in to say ‘Look you have been told very politely the dogs are not coming in so I suggest you take the dogs back to the car and come back to the sale later’ but no he would not listen! Eventually he went but within a few minutes I received a telephone call to complain about me and the nasty woman at the gate! I told him again the dogs would not be allowed into the grounds but still he returned to add to the argument. Two little girls about 4 years old were walking towards the gate at the same time and I said to Jackie those two girls are definitely not going through the gates at their age on their own when they told me they had lost their Mummy. I tried to move away to care for the girls but still the Glaswegian twat twittered more abuse! I found the girls Mum who was reunited with her girls and I returned to the gate, within a few minutes I had persuaded the man to ‘walk away with jerky movements’ (which actually mean will you please F O) now then I am absolutely certain all he wanted to do was parade the dogs amongst the stalls showing off with his two oversized and under exercised dogs adding prestige to his ego and probably his dick at the same time! What a pee are eye sea key!! It is getting near the bewitching hour BAR them or what? You decide!

Geoff