Part 2

Part 2
Warning; Sense of humour required.
The Brown stuff;
Now then, Julia however is not ‘in control’ of most of her thoughts and deeds and doings which is proof that Dementia is such a serious debilitating disease of which there is unfortunately no miracle cure and absolutely no return to normal life for the 5 million World Wide sufferers. Several of our customers have told me about their nightmare experiences caring for Dementia sufferers within the family, one customer told me about a Dementia parent who could ‘without notice’ just drop their pants and empty their bloody bowels and their bloody bladder either on their new settee or the carpet without any consideration to others, nor toilet paper FFS!! Another would have a poo in the dog’s dish (teas ready) FFS and another Dementia Dumper goes totally over the top he opens his upstairs bedroom window then he hangs out his fat arse and takes a pigging mile-long DUMP and the skid marks are still on the wall to prove it FFS!! Faeces (poo=sh.te=sh.t) seem to amuse some Dementia patients as they squelch the mucky stuff between their hands then wiping off the residue or yer wall or your soft furnishings my lovely, FFS! That’s what you call ‘full on Dementia’ (and the smell’s not all that nice neither pet) Maybe it’s time to move on?

But this one deserves an X Certificate FFS!! Another customer of ours had a grandfather who was physically removed from the family home because his last act was to take a dump at the top of the family stairs then shout for his grand-daughter to ‘come up the stairs Deirdre I’ve got something for you’ as the child got half way up the stairs he kicked the shit that he had just shat from the top step splat into the grandchild face, splat went the shit that he had just shat FFS, yes he kicked the shit into the grandchild’s face FFS, I mean is that not the ‘absolute pits of the shits’ or what FFS? (hilarious fun) Poor little granddaughter was very soon browned off? (and I think I am becoming a complete nutter) So, I mean, let’s all play KTS kick the shit at the kids FFS then kick it back into yer grand-dads face FFS! But you can’t do that in a bungalow can yer granddad you are an old fart) I mean, how could anyone in their right mind do something like that to a darling grand-daughter (a grand-son maybe) (especially those one’s that think they are all that and they’re not) ‘here is a face full of warm crap that I have just shat dear now go and take a pigging bath because you stink yer smelly little biatch’ FFS! I mean, what’s that all about kick him out of the house now FFS with his pee stained filthy shitty slippers and his skiddy grundies!! Same day!! First class post FFS!! FRO!! the now!! Yer B’stard! I am sorry but I must have one more “FFSake man”!!

A dear lady neighbour of ours was carer for her mother who at the age of 87-year-old her Dementia mother suddenly start beating her devoted caring daughter by hiding behind doors waiting for the daughter to come into view then punching her time and time again making her nose bleed and some serious body bruising. The physical and mental hurt was so immense for daughter that eventually Dementia ridden mother had to be carried off and put into a professional carers housing from which and where she will never return TTFFT. What a dreadful way for people to end their lives when they are totally unaware of the brutal unhappiness they are causing to their loved ones, their own family who they now ‘do not even know’ as the Demented person heads unwittingly to be prepared to meet their maker the sooner the better for them and others FFS. We have discussed this with Julia and she has asked that no resuscitation medicines are used to prolong her life, please! Julia is perfectly well behaved (so far) she cannot do anything for herself apart from eat and eat some more (bit like Lou really) but she does a very boring let’s fall asleep and eat your food very slowly, slowly in a trance like state’ making mealtimes a positive nightmare.
After supervising her mums bath Lou gives her-her own toothbrush with tooth paste on saying ‘you gotta clean your teeth’ She puts the brush down saying I will do it shortly, she comes to me telling me ‘Lou has just given me this what shall I do with it?’ Don’t tempt me mother in law dear, just shove it in your gob and make it work like your vibrator dear FFS! Mealtimes are without doubt the hardest part of the day which means stress times are amongst us, it would be rude to say ‘eat alone’ but her is totally oblivious of our presence anyway as the food magically appears so we just sit there in morbid silence watching the boring news. Julia’s only effort to make any conversation is to talk about the ‘little white fluffy clouds that she can see over the hills and far far away’ FFS it’s like the last supper every pigging night of the sodding year day in and day out! Calm down Geoff FFS man!!
Now then, when husband Gordon died her son Lou’s brother immediately said of his mother for whatever reason only he knows ‘put her into a HOME’ gullible motor-mouth Geoff (that’s me) said “You cannot do that to her she doesn’t deserve that, so after much deliberation I say let her come and stay with us” The arguments came backwards and forwards I did not want to see Julia go into a HOME, because of the war I had spent from my birth to ten years of my life in a brutal foster HOME in Croydon Surrey, amen! She is not going into a HOME amen!

My darling wife had always said to me “If my mother is left alone she is not coming to stay with us, do you understand Geoff” Yes darling, but you cannot put her into a HOME yet which makes for a great future for all concerned does it not my bird!! FFS!! Mealtime is finally over the hour has now approached for me to make my excuses and quietly disappear to my man-cave with a tremendous sigh of relief I say my farewells and run to where total sanity prevails well almost FFS!!
One of our gypsy family girls had bought an amazingly rude ‘fart gun’ for a pound at Truro Car Boot, I could see that this would amuse Julia so I bought it off the lovely gypsy girl for two quid. We had-had our evening meal so I planned a fart-break to relieve the monotony of near boredom with the fart-gun hidden, I dramatically pretended that the food that Lou had cooked had made me really ill so with a little over-acting from under the table I pressed the FART gun that let out a few glorious farts which Julia and Lou fell about laughing as I intimated my bowels were out of control, “I think I’ve got the shids FFS!! Great fun.
We so need a holiday away from each other just Lou and me and not your mother FFS! They call it Respite Care so if you my lovers have a Dementia sufferer and you are the Carer it is essential for all concerned that “YOU” must get a complete break to rediscover who you really are and you must somehow ‘get a small piece of your life back’ and I mean it! If you don’t you could become the next Dementia candidate my lovers! Warning One!
I have always wanted a Chi Wawa dog I promised and announced to the world that I would name him Mah-Willie (would you like to stroke Mah-Willie) but darling bossy boots Lou (4th and current wife) overheard a conversation with me and another woman whilst I was cuddling and stroking Mah-Willie in public saying to one of our regular lady’s “Would you like to stroke Mah Whillie?” the darling woman replied “Yes, if you would like to stroke my pussy please” What a challenge FFS! Lou immediately changed his name to Wilber (woman power) He has been a complete blessing cos as soon as Julia saw him she claimed him as ‘my dog’ they get on famously together, sometimes she cuddles and clutches him so effing tight to her bosoms-a-plenty the poor little bugger struggles like feck to get away from fighting against the flab man FFS!! (Did you know that according to what Gordon told me a few years ago that Julia has three boobs with one of them right in the middle of her back, she’s not much to look at but hell she is great fun to dance with FFS!) (When I told Julia about that she doubled up laughing) ‘Oh Geoff you do make me laugh and you make me happy’ Get out of that one my Lou. X Back to Mah Whillie, she so loves him to bits and will only release him when I shout ‘RABBITS-CATS’ then he struggles and scratches and claws like fcuk to be released from her vice grip gyrating enough to set himself free the poor little bugger, still worth a laugh though. I thoroughly recommend Chi Wawa’s especially for someone who has Dementia (you can only eat them one at a time though) they are so very affectionate and mischievous to all, he enjoys having special time for Julia as she tells and walks him around the rooms cradling and rocking him and telling him a story about guess what? ‘Little white fluffy clouds’ but of course FFS!

You can buy some great toys for only a few bobs at most boot sales which dogs love to play with but without mercy upon receipt of the ‘new toy’ they will marmalize it ripping its guts open known as the ‘KILL’ they leaving stuffing all over the bloody floors and furniture FFS. I had bought him a black and white stuffed toy dog bigger than himself for a quid from Newquay Car Boot which he absolutely adored so much so that firstly he chewed out the dog’s eyes then the randy little sod drags the submissive toy into the garden throws it up in the air a few times (you is my bitch) then he starts shagging away like stupid as he looks at our other dog fat bitch Nana Moon (you want some of this-you’re next) but she looks without interest having had it all taken away years ago watching his arse up going and down and backwards and forwards with such energetic thrusts FFS!
I shout to Julia to come and look at what Mah Willie is up to, she asks “Oh my goodness (posh voice) What’s he doing?” she asks, ‘What do you think he is doing Julia! he is bonking that toy dog I got from the Car Boot’ “What’s bonking?” asks Julia ‘Shagging dear just shagging’ “shouldn’t you stop him?” she asks ‘What the hell for? has anyone ever tried to stop you having a quick shag mother in law?’ Her sense of humour kicks in finding it all hilarious but when he realizes he is being watched he grabs the ‘stuffed’ toy and drags it behind the bushes where he cannot be seen but where he can have a peaceful shagging-bonk in him own time then the randy little ‘shid of a dog’ that he is he has the nerve to bring the abused toy into the kitchen drop it by Julia’s feet sopping wet which mother in law immediately rubs the defunked toy and tries to dry it out with the pigging tea towel!! Decision made, bin it, and the pigging tea towel! Great fun which Lou missed out cos her were watching (it’s me-time-time-out) some utter crap on the telly about American Housewives, are those women for real? I fear I know someone who could be heading ……………. Nope I won’t even go there FFS!

Now then, if I had Dementia I would like my own choice on how to conclude my own life and die with dignity because there is no way I would want to inconvenience those special people who work their balls off by keeping you alive when you are doing nothing for themselves nor society (‘for what? To suffer?’) and that their lasting memories of maybe weeks months or even years of me being a complete pain in the arse and a mindless B’stard to boot to all and sundry and me not knowing the hurt I am causing by being the complete arsehole that I am and a rapidly vegetating mass to the bitter end and at my departing. That’s not what I have fought for most of my life for to survive so long and to depart being a complete arsehole, no way! Give me the golden bullet let me go now, FFS!!
It is a pleasure looking after Lou’s mum Julia who on reflection has suffered Dementia for many years and many more years to come maybe but as long as she doesn’t do her an unannounced poo-craps on our settee or the carpets or anywhere other than the netty then she is welcome to our caring, for how long who knows? Lou is a wonderful carer but her gets extremely stressed at times and the sufferer is more often or not me FFS! No point in getting stressed dear is there she’s got Dementia!! Deal with it darling, no-one ever said life would be easy being a carer, did they?
For many years it has been my job to do the breakfasts so I set up the kitchen the night before to save time in the mornings, I lay out two trays with cereal bowls plates cups and cutlery. For days and more days Julia would go into the kitchen and on seeing the trays laid up would put everything away into the cupboards or the dishwasher or even the fridge or the bin or just pigging anywhere FFS! Now then, I am a right miserable B’stard in the mornings and my sense of humour is tetchy to say the very least so I was not amused by Julia’s sodding interference. I had said to her do not touch the trays that are set-up for your breakfast which she ignored. Finally, one evening I laid the same trays out with two fur-king great felt tip signs saying “Julia, do not touch FFS!”
I could not believe it when she walks into our bedroom without knocking totally unannounced (so I had to get off) with one of the signs she asks “What does FFS mean?” WHAT!! FFS!! As usual Lou was not amused with her mother barging into our privacy in the bedroom but I thought here we have this prim and proper 77-year-old (looks it) woman who was married for 50 odd years she has been a schoolteacher for 30 odd years she has had two kids of her own (only had sex twice or were they virgin births?) (To be returned unopened!) plus she used to have some really good old scraps and some right on ding- dong battles no less with her husband yet she does not know WTF FFS means, I mean is that a sheltered life or what ffs? She laughs heartedly once I have explained the expression FFS then she starts preparing to stay and sit on the bed and natter about ‘little white fluffy clouds’ all night that she had seen today, I politely tell her ‘Julia go to bed FFS! Could I ask for more entertainment that that? ‘They’re coming to take me away hah-hah, to the funny farm where life is beautiful all of the time?’ If you have someone in your lives who has Dementia treat them if possible with respect, kindness and understanding and try to get into their sense of humour and try to make them laugh at themselves and make them much happier than for then to just sitting around all day with a large open gob stance belting out the death rattle and waiting for Goddo to come along. But, if they treat you with NO respect and they are upsetting your family lives and they don’t even know ‘who TF are you FFS?’ and that all the love that you once shared as a united family is now lost and gone forever replaced by bitter memories for everyone concerned FFS! With the greatest of respect, it is time for them to ‘move on’ towards their demise in the meantime to go to the capable hands of professional carers homes or hospitals otherwise you will or could be ultimate loser as you could completely lose your marbles and end up with Dementia yourselves (second warning). The decision time for when they must go is yours to make for the peace and happiness of your own lives and your future for you and your family, then total peace of mind when you can then contemplate time away for a short holiday in the sun. Yeh!!!
Love you Lou, you are doing a wonderful job with your mum as her carer, a bit teasey at times (most of the time) dear. My escape from it all is to my man-cave (every man and woman should have one) for an hour or so and then another hour for a quiet smoke a rum & coke some decent music, peace perfect peace! Now then my lover let us book a holiday just for the two of us to go up into the skies up-up and away through those ‘little white fluffy clouds’ into another world to find ourselves and rekindle (nope, I am too knackered for that) our love for each other for at least a couple of weeks FFS.
There is absolutely NO OFFENSE meant in this blog to either my missus Lou nor my mother-in-law Julia. The biggest wake-up call that our marriage has ever encountered through over 30 years together is Julia’s Dementia. I do make light of it and I do get great laughs with her because of my sense of humour, Lou and I have both given Julia a very caring five star home which has seriously taken its toll on the special relationship and times Lou and I spent alone at Nancorras (time for a tear or two) take it seriously my lovers I hope Dementia does not enter your lives, be happy be lively hang your cap on your partners door love them to bits then some more and look after yourselves and your closest ones and live a long and a happy life without Dementia FFS!



Reply to

Posted on HOME PAGE 01/09/2019

WARNING to all Car Boot Sellers in Cornwall to BEWARE the thieves are about to STEAL something from YOUR stall?
I have got to remind ALL SELLERS in CORNWALL to look after your property inside and outside of your cars whilst you are selling! Thieves stole from HAYLE & ROSUDGEON & MITCHELL & TRURO & NEWQUAY & WITHIEL in the last 7 days also beware because YOUNG CHILDREN are being taught to steal from your stall…………!!

Now then lets hope the following takes place; SUNDAY at St Columb Major at 10.00 am/Sunday at TRURO CITY Cattle Market at 1.30 pm/SUNDAY at PENRYN Rugby Club at 3.00 pm. Sellers should arrive at least one hour before start times. All sellers are reminded to keep secure with your selling items do not let any person to take items from your stall without paying cos that is what will happen so concentrate with your eyes on the prize!

Reply to

Kenya Expedition



I am very close to reaching the amount needed to go to Kenya thanks to all the wonderful people who have donated items for me to sell in the car boots.

I’m happy to say that Geoff has allowed me to do a £1 stall that I’ll be doing soon in order to raise that last little bit! (I will give an exact date closer to the time) so if you wanted to pop along and show your support it would be greatly appreciated!

Many thanks,

Rhiannon X

Geoff Says!
We are absolutely delighted to help this young lady Rhiannon and her friends to raise money towards this wonderful Charity effort The Kenya Expedition for 2019.

May I ask all sellers if they would kindly consider to donate any sellable items towards this charity event please, if you have just a small carrier bag of ‘SELLABLE’ items that Rhiannon can sell towards this genuine effort to help those less fortunate than ourselves then respectfully I would ask you to give generously and leave your donations with either Rhiannon or one of my team members please!

Many thanks and good luck to Rhiannon and her team, we will give updates over the coming months. Thank you from Geoff and all of the Car Boots Cornwall teams. Good Luck. Geoff. X


I’m Rhiannon Wooldridge and next summer in 2019 I will be heading out to Kenya in East Africa, where around 51% of the population live in absolute poverty. I will be out there for 4 weeks, making a difference towards:
1.) Education
2.) Housing
3.) Healthcare and sanitation
4.) Food and water security
5.) Environmental protection
6.) Sustainable livelihoods.

I will be doing this with Camps Internationals, who have over 100 humanitarian projects, and through Newquay Tretherras School, where a dozen or so more students are joining me on this trip.

On this trip we will be:
1. Building Desks for school children who would otherwise be sat on the floor.
2. Building classrooms to provide children with safe places to learn.
3. Digging elephant watering holes, helping the elephants to survive the dry season.
4. Making ethical deterrents to protect local crops, reducing elephant poaching and increasing crop production.
5. Rhino sanctuary maintenance work as they are hugely endangered.
6. Goat de-worming.
7. Installing fresh water tanks at schools and villages.

We have chosen to go to Kenya for 3 main reasons:
– 42% of Kenyans live below the poverty line.
– Nearly half of the population live on less than $1 a day.
– Average life expectancy is 55 years.

I have been doing, and will continually be doing, numerous events to raise just under £4000 to embark on the expedition.

One of the ways I have been raising money is through selling items in car boots. Geoff has generously offered me a free stall, where most of the items have very kindly been donated, and from this I have made around £300. From doing the car boots Geoff had also offered me a job and all the money which I get paid also contributes to the £4000 needed to go to Kenya. So a big thanks to Geoff!
If you have any unwanted items that you want to donate then please email me at .

On Sunday the 16th of September I will be hosting a coffee morning with Shannon Wright, who is also going on the trip. It is at Goonhavern Village hall at 10:00-12:00. There will be a variety of cakes, other refreshments and raffle prizes, not to mention live acoustic music from our local singer Tess! (see poster image for more information). Your can also look on my Kenya Expedition Facebook page: @Kenyacharitytrip. Anyone is welcome, the more the merrier!

In the Easter holidays my friend, Hannah Williams, and I are going to do a sponsored walk. The walk we will be doing is the West Highland Way in Scotland. We are aiming to complete it within 5 days during the Easter holidays 2019. The 100 mile walk starts at Milngavie (Glasgow) and finishes at Fort William. The West Highland Way is a challenging walk over multiple terrains from mountains and lochs, to moorlands and farmlands. Any donations would of course be greatly appreciated. If you would like to generously donate then please visit my Justgiving crowdfunding page (see below)

Any donations and sponsorship are hugely appreciated and I’m open to any suggestions on fundraising ideas, again my Facebook page is @kenyacharitytrip, my just giving is and my email is . I will also be working at the car boots in Newquay and Truro and will be hopefully be selling at more of Geoff locations (my stall has a few small signs on it about my trip!).


Reply to

The Wedding;

David Leggo the Landlord of Mitchell told me ages ago that he had agreed to allow a wedding on his land at Mitchell to life long friends so for that Saturday we could not hold our very popular weekly Car Boot on his land. I decided to transfer the Car Boot to St Columb Major 8.5 miles away according to Google it will take you 12 minutes to get to St Columb from Mitchell but with heavy traffic add a further 15 minutes. We put large signs out to advise customers of the move for the one week we put it on the website we put 1000 leaflets into sellers and buyer’s hands to advertise the move, we told people in person about the change and we put over 40 directional signs to advise and remind motorists of the change! Could we have done more FFS?

I decided to stay at Mitchell and man the gates with my man Paul nicknamed Rock On (why I do not know) to direct traffic for those who had not seen the publicity or had just bloody well forgotten but the abuse that we got was quite amazing as we stood there like ‘schmooks’ trying to point drivers to take the slip road for St Columb when they stop all traffic to find out wassup! We give them leaflets with the post code then they want to hold a conversation with us whilst other traffic is held up FFS! 2 customers with deaf aids that did not seem to be working so we have to mime to in the middle of the pigging roundabout and doing jerking movements “FO down the slip road FFS!!” One car pulled up with a couple of regulars and I told them about the move she gets a fit the giggles saying “Oh yea I already knew that” ‘So why the fuct didn’t you tell me FFS’ roars the ugly 18 stone husband who truth to tell had an enraged face like the he had built up a huge fart that was ready to explode FFS ( the twat) He drives off around the roundabout a further 3 times before he finally took the eefing slip- road into oblivion with her finger wagging at him as his unfriendly eyes ‘they kept looking away from each other FFS’ I certainly did not envy their short journey. There were other drivers who were furious and raging about the change completely losing their minds in their child seats by screeching their tyres in a rage as they take their miserable sodding faces to another part of Cornwall. I mean, WTF is everybody so miserable about FFS and why be so efin dramatic about sod-all and a slight inconvenience because we had to move the Car Boot to another location and as I pointed out ‘what about the bride and groom’ to which one disgruntled old fart said in abbreviations “I don’t’ GAF about the king bride and groom bollocks to them they can FRO” How charitable you old sod, hope your rabbit dies FFS! It has to be said clearly and precisely that the antagonism came from oh yes, you have guessed it correctly the miserably sods yesterday’s drivers MEN of course!! I mean I got called a bald-headed old twat by two different drivers FFS ‘so I put my cap on’ to save any further abuse from a certain section of our community known as the irritable and aggravated bowel syndrome school of wankers FFS!! That made Rock On laugh.

WE had both taken all the insults on the chin, we had done a good job diverting the traffic to a location that had never had a Car Boot Sale on a Saturday before but the bonus was to my great surprise there were over 100 sellers with a huge crowd of buyers, I also thank my team who had done a wonderful job, I thank all of our customer new and regulars for your continued support on a very successful day but there always has to be someone who wants to rule the roost and spoil the day, this time by a foul-mouthed bleached blonde black roots not very nice woman.
I always keep ‘an emergency space’ by the entrance into the selling fields in case Para-medics or AMBULANCES or any of the Emergency Services need immediate access. At the main gate directing large volumes of traffic at St Columb we had a very capable member of our team and an ex-policewoman whom our customers know as Cheryl, she has lively friendly attitude towards her job she has a great PR attitude towards our customers, she is conscientious and totally non-confrontational. Whilst dealing with 100s of incoming and outgoing vehicles she noticed a woman stop her car right in the middle of the flow of exiting traffic, she goes up to Cheryl demanding “I am going to park my car in that space there” Cheryl advises that the space is not for parking it is an emergency area only! “Well, I am going to park there” then she resorts to a serious and grossly offensive swearing tirade against Cheryl with liberal use of the eff word and as a final insult she calls Cheryl a fcuking CNUT!! She parks her car and on seeing me came storming up saying that she demanded to be parked in that space “Because I have got a bad shoulder” ‘Well, haven’t we all’ I replied with a suggestion of disbelief and sarcasm!!
I could tell that Cheryl had been seriously offended by this loud mouth I told the woman to ‘move immediately and go’ but not content with her former abuse but she still wanted to have another go to give Cheryl a further “Piece of my mind and sort her out” with your bad shoulder? FFS!! How very stupid! She joined the departing queue and left still raging. Cheryl later told me the details of the woman’s abuse and threats and her alleged bad shoulder. The way she was waving her arms around in her stupid childish and immature rant did not suggest there was anything wrong with her shoulder. (maybe her brain needed a ‘reality check) Other customers had seen and heard this incident with several actually complaining to me about her language, we were well rid of her!
The wedding was a great success.

Reply to

Posted; HOME PAGE 18/08/2018

Heavy mizzle at St Columb therefore the Car Boot for 10.00 am is cancelled. Sorry ……… ……………………..! Sellers should arrive at least one hour before the start times at all locations! Thank you to all buyers and sellers who contributed towards a very successful changeover for one week from MITCHELL to St Columb Major today! To the ones who were rude and threatening to my team members you can ‘blow up your brown pants FFS!!’ Which reminds me a thug local bloke threatened physical violence towards my missus at TRURO last Sunday, I cannot wait to see him this SUNDAY, we have made a report to the Police about his threat of PHYSICAL VIOLENCE and he is BARRED from all CBC locations. ………………………………………………………………………………….. PADSTOW is now END OF SEASON! Next year we will hold the SALE on WEDNESDAYS which were successful in previous years. Thank you to those who supported PADSTOW! Geoff

Reply to

I am Ayesha Qaddafi, I am writing this mail with tears and sorrow from my heart asking for your help at this time, I got your contact while searching for a trustworthy someone who will understand my present condition and come to my rescue here in Algeria where i am relocated now to Oman, I have passed through pains and sorrowful moment since the death of my father and brothers, all our Foreign and local accounts have been blocked and we are not allowed to make transfer or receive money from any country or source.

I received an urgent email from Oman government who stated that the new Libya government are tracing hidden deposit of my late father which he was deposited will the one of the bank in Burkina Faso,Then i don’t want them to be aware of this particular funds ($35.5 Million dollars) deposited in BIB Banquet International Du Burkina Faso. If you can be of any assistant to me, kindly get back to me so that i can furnish you with the full details and the full contact address of the BIB Bank in Burkina Faso country to enabling you contact them for the final release of the funds to your onward accredited account in your country.

I am willing to reward you bountiful will 50% while i myself will also share 50% has equal between both of us,If you are sure that you are interested to gain this opportunity with me kindly contact me immediately via my private alternative email;below ( ) for more details

Thanks and may Allah bless you
Miss Ayesha Qaddafi

I mean, what an absolute load of bollocks and why pick on me FFS?
Do you ever get pleading emails from people who you have never met in your life then suddenly they are offering you countless thousands and millions if you would let them have your bank details so this load of imaginary dosh can be safe in your account and for security they ask for your credit card details then the fcuk off with all of your money and you end up with sweet FA! FFS! I mean some of these foreigners do try to take the piss out of us Cornish folk especially with a surname like Qaddafi, sounds like Mad Colonel ‘Gaddafi’ Duck of Libya FFS!

Reply to

Phyliss Funeral arrangements;

Phyllis’ funeral will take place at Penmount Crematorium on Friday August 17th at 1.30pm. Family flowers only but donations if desired for The Friends of Falmouth Hospital may be sent to Keith Penrose Undertakers at Mawnan Smith.

If you knew Phyllis and would like to mourn her passing at the crematorium or join the family for tea and cake to celebrate her lovely long life at Falmouth rugby club from 2.30 pm then please do join us.
We chose the rugby club on a Friday because of Phyllis’ many happy times at the car boot there over a period of 20+ years.

Sent from my iPhone

Reply to

Dear Geoff and Lou
Just to let you know Phyllis died peacefully yesterday with her family by her bedside at Falmouth hospital.
Thank you to everyone who sent cards , Phyllis loved receiving them they brightened her days and her room!
Funeral details to follow with everyone very welcome to attend.
Kind Regards

Sent from my iPhone

Reply to

What about this knowing nothing about records Mandy walked around the stalls at Falmouth whilst new husband ‘golden balls’ is looking after the stall and her pick up this record and says to the seller ‘How much is this please’ “Yours for a quid” Sold! Now then her takes the record back to their stall and says to new hubby Rob “Look what I bought is it any good it was only a pound’ As a man with a big heart and a tight fisted B’stard to boot he immediately gives new wife Mandy her quid and immediately hyper- ventilates as he realizes the record could go for ‘big money’ so he puts it on e Bay and it sells for £304.00 quids mate! These two are absolutely dedicated to the TV Poldark series in fact they both go weak at the knees at the sight of the main male character but forgive me I do not know his name nor do I want to, anyway the dreadful BBC series recently had a showing of the latest Poldark tripe here in Cornwall when hundreds of square eyed fan followers awaited the arrival of Poldarks main man who did not have the courtesy to show up to the besotted gathering! ‘Kick the bugger off the set’ that’s what Geoff Says, some fans were crying (hilarious fun) FFS that is such blatant rudeness and arrogance SACK HIM!!’ Back to Rob and his £303.00 profit, well done son it could not have happened to a nicer couple and I am sure Mandy who is a former page 3 model of Page 3 newspapers the Times and Telegraph or so I believe. Rob has had some really lucky purchases over the years hence the title golden balls! Well done Falmouth Car Boot Sale for offering such a bargain!! Ps; I might be wrong by calling them Mr & Mrs cos rumour has it they are going to have a big Poldark wedding with all the guests dressed up as the daft Poldark series. Whatever turns you on, if I find out the time and date I will let everybody know on Face-book so hundreds will turn up and Rob will have to buy them all a drink from his profit dear of him!

Reply to

From Jan daughter in law of Phyllis;

Hi Geoff,

Just for info Phyllis / Sheila is very poorly and now in Falmouth hospital for palliative care. She was 93 on the 14th July. She is on Boscawen ward and I wondered if anyone who remembers the plant lady would like to send her a card just to brighten her day. She’s in good spirits and is reflecting on her lovely long life with her family around her. Falmouth car boot gets a lot of mentions!

Kind regards
Jan ( daughter in law)
Sent from my iPhone

Reply to