Welcome to CUBA part 2
Thomas Cook Airlines & Holidays;
We are now on the plane to CUBA and THOMAS COOK ought to be bloody ashamed of themselves developing such a ‘really hard-sell’ from the moment you step onto their plane, you are their captive audience for the next ten hours and they want to bleed you dry of yer dosh from their selling drinks then more drinks and don’t forget your ‘duty free goods’ (my bum, they are cheaper on eBay ffs) and yer wines & spirits which were cheaper at the ‘duty free’ shops at the Airport in Cuba than at Gatwick! Other airlines offer a ‘complimentary welcome drink’ for their loyal and devoted passengers. THOMAS COOK gave our flight passengers on their own Thomas Cook’s own aircraft an ‘unacceptable excuse complimentary drink’ because there were no in-flight entertainment facilities nor TV monitors working as anticipated by all in-flight passengers and their kids as they travel over 4000 pigging miles looking at a lifeless screen in front of you FFS? The TV system was not working amen, nothing THOMAS COOK Airlines could do or wanted to do about it FFS!! My belief is that all airlines build into the price of your flights for them ‘to provide’ the facility of in-flight entertainment’ if for some reason it is not available each and every flight passenger should get an on the spot minimum cash payment of £20.00 per adult person (double for kids) as compensation and as a refund for the ‘lack of anticipated services’ that would soon get Thomas Cook off their asses to ensure that their planes are fully operating for the loyal customers who have paid up-front assuming they would get 100% service without unacceptable disappointments contributing to a very boring start to every buggers holiday ffs!’
The really nice flight stewards worked tirelessly selling their wares and providing not very good tatty food allegedly FREE (no, it’s not free you have paid for it) as you fidget forever trying to get the stupid plastic wrapping off everything on the minuscule tray especially fighting to get the cheese wrapping off fs and when the coffee comes round and you’re juggling away where to put the frigging cup of near boiling hot coffee and you spill (like I did) the pigging hot contents onto yer nuts ffs right onto your very owned privates and it ferking hurts with her sitting there is ashamed of my conduct especially when I cannot wait for a pee and to see if any lifelong damage has been done to my crunchies (checking one-two-one-two) so it’s off to the loo in my pale blue coffee stained Chino’s with other passengers watching me coping with a bit or turbulence and a touch of the farts as they look at me and must have thought that I had either pissed or crapped myself because of the colour of the stain FFS! With no screens to watch I became the gossip of the plane FFS! Her sitting beside me was most certainly not amused (result or what fs) at my antics as her had covered her face with her scarf which was a great improvement ffs for me for the entire flight, there were some passengers kept walking by thinking she has either been done in by me or that her passed on FFS! Hilarious fun! Please note, I love and adore Lou so she does with me but we do have our occasional differences most of the time fs.
Nevertheless, the staff were lovely they were nice to passengers of all ages. There were several kids on the plane whose behaviour was impeccable and I thought ‘wouldn’t it be nice if the senior steward instead of some of the usual crap they have to talk say Let’s have nice a round of applause for our younger passengers who have been so good today on this long flight, thank you boys and girls and babies, and the parents haven’t done that bad neither! But that is typical me, I reckon they could play games of touch-screen Bingo (when it’s pigging working) with great prize money and Thomas Cook could take their share and make even bigger profits then perhaps they could make sure that their internal TV ‘entertainment’ passengers screens and films worked for at least some of this epic journey with nothing to watch, apologies are meaningless that’s why I thought ‘today’s kid’s = tomorrows customers’ were so well behaved. In-flight on-screen entertainment is taken for granted on all major airlines, no excuses! We heard the next flight passengers had no on-screen entertainment shame on you Thomas Cook, so if your pigging plane can fly hundreds of passengers thousands of miles to distant locations throughout this pigging world then surely an in-flight sound and touch-screen films and games with spares to keep the bloody system serviced and working without pathetic excuses which should apply to all flights! Childs play FFS! Don’t I bitch on a bit but right is right FFS!
I wanted to know what the score was with De Herb in Cuba the last thing I wanted to do is light up then get locked up so I had rolled up enough of my Farmers Blend and De Herb smokes rationing myself to just over five a day = 10. No poisons in your system with nicotine’s nor tobacco, you don’t need it man-woman, do yer though? Live longer should be your motto cigarettes though nice are deathly you should see the list of people who have been our customers for years who have died with lung cancer due to fags FFS!