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Markets & Cornish Farmers Markets - Car boots Cornwall

Markets

Here are a few details of some of the various markets held within the county.

 Thursdays
Name/Town Location Telephone
Car Boots Cornwall Hendra, Newquay 07779 517749
 Saturdays, Sundays and Wednesdays (Seasonal)
Name/Town Location Telephone
Cornish Market World Par Moor Rd St Austell 01726 812544
Pool Market Station Rd Pool 01209 719191

Cornish Farmers Markets

 Tuesdays
Town Location Season Start Time Telephone
Falmouth The Moor, Falmouth Every 9:00 am 01326 376244
 Fridays
Town Location Season Start Time Telephone
Bude Park House Centre 2nd In Month 10:00 am 07812 088971
Callington Callington Town Hall 2nd In Month 9:00 am 01566 776502
Launceston St Mary's Hall Every 9:30 am 01566 7776502
Lostwithial Community Hall Every 2nd Friday 10:00 am 01840 250586
St Austell Cornerstones Community Centre Every 2nd Friday 10:00 am 01726 74581
 Saturdays
Town Location Season Start Time Telephone
Carnon Downs Village Hall Last Saturday 9:00 am 01872 870729
Liskeard Keep Fit Hall Every First Saturday 9:00 am 01579 344473
Truro Lemon Quay Piazza Every 9:00 am 01326 376244
 
 
Next CAR BOOT review date is 07/07/2020
Please read Geoff Says.
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USEFUL LINKS

Hotdog Decals
www.hotdog-decals.com

Devon Car Boot Sales
www.devon-car-boot-sales.co.uk

Dig & Delve
www.digndelve.com

Kenetic Designs
www.keneticdesigns.co.uk

Taunton Car Boots
www.tauntoncarboot.co.uk

 
 
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YOU MUST NOT SELL any of the following at out Car Boot Sales

WINES, SPIRITS, CIGARETTES, TOBACCO, ANIMALS, FAKE DVD's, CD's or VIDEOS, GUNS, KNIVES, FOOD, CAKES, SANDWICHES, DRINKS, FRUIT, VEGETABLES, CRISPS and SWEETS of any kind, without the express permission of CARBOOTSCORNWALL and with the approval of CORNWALL COUNCIL HEALTH AUTHORITES and TRADING STANDARDS!

 
 
Gods waiting Room!

17th May 2015
What a week it has been with heavy rain spoiling Newquay on Thursday but not enough rain for some people from up-country to complain that the Car Boot were cancelled, I mean if you want to sell at a Car Boot that is pissing down with rain then why not have your own Car Boot at home ‘in your very own shower’ and invite all your neighbours in to buy up soaking freshly washed drenched bargains. It’s mainly the tourists (holidaymakers) who complain “why isn’t car boot under cover” when it rains? To tell you the truth I don’t know? On Sunday we received over 240 phone calls from early morning which we don’t mind but the folk from ‘oop country’ are a bit of a PITBs at times with their complaining attitudes dear of them. This is Cornwall my lovers we don’t respond till the next day cos we don’t have to see but then we do-do-it dreckly sort of, like, if you know what we mean?

Last year I had the unpleasant task of telling all of our regulars that we have a problem particularly when the tourists (holidaymakers) are doing the rounds at our Car Boot Sales cos there be one or two of them have been nicking our bog rolls from the portable toilets. Well this year is no exception cos at Newquay and Mitchell the bog roll nickers has been at it again. There is nothing worse than when you has done your number one’s and your number two’s and your performance is complete and you look for toilet paper and some bastard from up country has nicked off with your bum wipe bog rolls.
Hilarious, I would have thought, but tourists (holidaymakers) beware cos I might well have ‘tourist’s only toilets’ introduced which will be provided with sandpaper and a cheese grater bum wipe or worse still newspaper squares from this week’s West Briton tied up with a bit of string just like the outdoor toilets you have back at home dears.

Security cameras with sound effects and sniffometers will be installed if this nicking does not stop and if we catch anyone nicking our Cornish bum wipes we will publish your name and the filmed and sound recorded and sniffometer evidence of your taking a leak or having a dump then concealing the bog rolls on your personage which could devastate your ego because there will be a car parked outside the bog filming your exit from the crapper with my stolen bog rolls, you thieves!

Loads of you will know Phyllis, well known for selling her weeds and Cannabis plants over the years. She now restricts herself to arriving at Falmouth Car Boot once every two or three weeks. I know she is really getting on in her 92 years but she can be such a miserable pain in the bum at times. She is like her own doctor and knows exactly what is wrong with her but does not want to get anything done about it in case it kills her. She tells all and sundry how she feels and they all say “do something about it Phyllis” but she won’t. However, when she arrives her looks knackered and miserable but once her has been chatting away for an hour or so and a couple of 'spliffs' later the colour comes back into her cheeks her false teeth fit better and instead of having a face like a slapped arse a new look overcomes her but from a good distance away so she looks every bit of her 91 years of age FFS! The problem is that when she is telling everyone how bad she is they all get as depressed as she and it’s just like sitting in God’s waiting Room in my Car Boot field! I was looking across at them the other day all of my old biddies Glum, Mum, Bum, No Fun and happiness personified Phyllis herself and I had to take a closer look cos I thought two of them had passed on FFS! But we all love our Phil the old nambat that she is. By the way she is 92 on the 14th of July which by coincidence is the same date as my wedding Anniversary, I can’t see any good reason to remember either of them personally. That’s a lie!
Cheer up my lovelies be happy even if you are feeling miserable, you have but one life and you couldn’t be in a better place than mixing with us the real people, we must be something special because in all of the 26 years we have run our boots with millions of visits we have never had one single death not yet anyway! Just keep walking and if you are in that frame of mind ‘walk on’ as Phyllis says.

Oh, and just one more nag, if you are an old fart and you have the need for carers then be nice to them (they are probably related to you, your sons or your daughters or your husbands or your wives or somebody else’s wife but they are not your personal servants dears) Appreciate what they do for you and admit that you are a pain in the arse at times and that you are sorry for being a real nasty b’stard piece of work and that you DO appreciate all they do for you and that you WILL absolutely promise to leave them something in your WILL or even better give it to them now my birds? (Then watch them run like FCUK!) Carers do have feelings you know!

Geoff

Ps; Phyllis is only 90 really, she lied about her age so she could get into the RAF 70 odd years ago to fight for her country, dear of her.

XX

POSTED17/05/2015
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