Here we have a review from Sarah about the trilogy of books 50 Shades. She has convinced me NOT to read it but I somehow think that she and millions of other lady readers will go to see the film or better still have a copy to watch in the privacy of their own homes. I have yet to hear from anyone who really liked the book apart from Lady Lynn of double glazing fame who has reccommended Rosie to play the starring role!

Thank you Sarah 9/10

Geoff

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Morning Geoff!

Hmm, don’t think I should plan a career as a book critic just yet, it’s harder than it looks! Hope it gives you a giggle, though I fear I’m far too cynical to do it justice.

Have a good day x

Sarah

Fifty (Shags) Shades of Grey … A Review

Sweet, innocent virgin with limited life experience and even more limited vocabulary meets screwed-up control freak who likes spanking women that resemble his mother. Oh sorry, I’ve just given away the entire plot. Or I would have, if there was one.

I had to read it, how could I not, when the entire female population of the Western world was swooning over the marvellous Christian Grey? I had to find out what I was missing!

As it turned out, not much. He’s not marvellous, he’s completely unbelievable, not to mention weird. Young, rich and pretty but very, very weird. Don’t let him to meet your mother, he might want to spank her too. There, that’s ruined your breakfast, hasn’t it?

Ana, the hapless, hopeless heroine of this sorry tale, just made me cross. Get a life, girl! I wanted to give her a damned good shake, her and her smug “Inner Goddess”. Mine stuck around for the first couple of chapters, then got bored and went down the pub. Think I should have gone with her.

Fifty Shades started life as something from the Twilight stable, but ended up as Mills & Boon with whips. I’m sure it wasn’t meant to make me laugh but, quite honestly, the sex scenes sounded suspiciously like the writer had no experience of the activities described. Flat, dull and monotonously repetitive, it read like a 16-year-old’s homework. Shakespeare it is not.

However, although this book is about as stimulating as Sunday lunch with the in-laws, and I frequently wanted to hurl it across the room, I have to admit that actually I couldn’t put it down. There’s something horribly fascinating about it but, having now read all three books, I still can’t tell you what that is. I have no idea.

Read it anyway, you know you want to. I’m not sure there are 50 shags in it, to be honest, but you’ll be so bored by the tenth you won’t care. The sequels, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, are in much the same vein but you won’t need to concentrate too much, they’re both so predictable you’ll be able to carry on regardless. I hope it’s never turned into a film, that would just ruin it completely!

Sarah.

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