We have never been so busy at any of our locations as we were at MITCHELL today with nearly 300 sellers and up to 4000 people including all the buyers and their children in the lovely warm sunshine buying and selling BARGAINS galore and believe me there were some stunning bargains that by now are probably listed on eBay. We had to turn up to 40 sellers away and we eventually ran out of buyer’s car parking which was due to irresponsible car parking on behalf of some of your fellow citizen drivers, I have taken the registration numbers of the offenders so if you get a call from DVLA SWANSEA telling you that you have GOT TO take a re-test then it was ME wot did it and I don’t give a toss! Sod it! I mean to say it does not take a brain surgeon to work out you cannot park 3 in a row yet we had 3 in a row by three times all of course MALE drivers! Give the woman the keys man! Women are so perfect mmmmmm!! (I am such a creep, but I do love em all, honestly) X

Lovely atmosphere, nice people, well the majority were, I know the readers of this column certainly are but if you see or hear anyone being rude or offensive to ANY of my teams then please let me know immediately! Arlin and Rachel were targeted by some DH telling them as loudly and as rudely ‘how to do their jobs’ despite Arlin trying to calm the man he continued to rant! For the record Arlin is a school teacher and Rachel is the Manageress of a highly successful group of tanning and health shops in Newquay and would not resort to the same offensive rhetoric as the complainant but a smart kick in the nuts could have shut the stupid arse up for a while! GFY! I would not have the balls to do it though, get Arlin on one side me on the other one, two, and three, and kick Rachel. Better than a good bollicking I would have thought!!

At 1.30 the sale was well on its way so my Lou left to run the 3 oclock Wadebridge sale hoping for the first successful Car Boot this year. With over 40 in the queue to sell when she arrived she assumed over 50 sellers in total. However about an hour before start time an impatient motor cyclist tried to overtake a car turning right into The Royal Cornwall Showground causing a serious accident writing off his own bike and two cars! Police closed the main roads in both directions for the emergency services with Air Ambulance arriving to take away the seriously injured to Treliske Hospital. With the roads closed and desperate to keep the few buyers and sellers Lou started the sale despite the pandemonium all around. The Police started parking cars inside the grounds so it was a free admission to the Car Boot for all the inconvenience drivers and their passengers the sellers did really well.

Now then, amongst the entire tailback of traffic up to three miles in both directions were several dealers who could not get to the start of the sale, Hah bloody Hah! But you see out of the misery of an accident comes fortune for one man who was the only dealer interested in antiques and furniture and collectables. On his own he had the opportunity other dealer’s would daydream about, step forward Mr Le Roye who made WOOPEE! He is a decent man well liked by the other dealers (up till now) and his day came big time! What goes around comes around my lovers!

Talking about Treliske our Rosie is going into Hayle Hospital to get her shoulder fixed, she has been told to arrive alone and prepare to stay overnight, she is petrified to be without her doting husband Gordon the Go-fer but don’t you worry about him my maid Rosie, a few of us are going to take him out for a couple then a couple more drinks then we are all off to Marge’s Red room of pain! I cannot wait! How did she do her shoulder in? Doing a bedroom POLE DANCE with a second hand pole she bought from Marge whilst he took the pictures with his Polaroid. The pole broke in the middle whilst Rosie was ascending in her leotard, imagine, too much weight? Have you been injured?? Lady Lynn says it will be nice to get Rosie out of the way for a few days so someone else can get the limelight, what a bitchy comment, but true!

Wipe out! A young mum brought her 3 year old daughter to help sell today and mum was so pleased with her day selling all the bits and bobs she no longer wanted and took an amazing £130.00 she was so delighted with her take so offered the remainder of her stock for a fiver and went home with an empty car! (Plus the kid of course who is an absolute MADAM!)

Back to the beginning, why did we do so well? Rumour has it that loads of disenchanted sellers and buyers that were at Hayle last Sunday with the complaints lasting all week they decided to support Cornwall’s number one location MITCHELL operated by the best Car Boot Sale organisers in the South West of England CARBOOTSCORNWALL my lovers and if you think I am getting big headed about it, too damn right I am! Thank you all for your support and to the 99% of you who contributed to a great atmosphere. Get well soon Rosie, what I really admire about her is that over years she has suffered her pains and has got ‘out there’ instead of feeling sorry for herself, so if you are disabled why not come out to any of our Car Boots to get some fresh air and exercise and perhaps some great bargains! Go 4 it!

And finally, I am considering banning dogs from the Car Boot selling lanes or certainly the large dogs because the owners are the reason for continued complaints! It is not a good idea to bring your large dogs just to walk around the sale then to go back to your car and that is the exercise for you and the dog for the week. You lazy sods, no wonder your dog is nearly as bloated as you are! If the cap fits-wear it? You have one life and you will certainly live longer with more country walks, bring Mother you can get her to carry the shopping!! Here is a better idea give the missus thirty quid and say “I will walked the dog (and ring the girlfriend) you enjoy the boot sale darling” Quick kiss, that’s it my ladies, you’ve got rid of him for an hour at least cos he won’t find you easily amongst our crowds!

Geoff

XX