This is a party Political embarrassment for the Conservative Pig-Party presented by Geoff Says, I gleaned all of this information from the week’s Tory papers! What I didn’t read, I made up so I don’t GAF if my exaggerations are understated!

BABE!

Part one;

I have heard about happy Welsh Farmers and their nervous sheep but I have never ever heard of a Prime Minister that ‘had it off’ with a dead pig FFS!

I believe that his Lordship Ashcroft was mega pissed off after giving eight million pounds all in brown envelopes to the Tory funds (10% for Davy Boys back pocket) Anyway, all his Lordship is wanting for his hard earned dosh is a decent job in the Tory Government which the papers say was promised by Cameron for his Lordship’s eight mill. They (Cameron & his rich-bitch Tory parties nasties) took his money and then with great lack of appreciation pig-snot Davy Boy offers his Lordship a really low status menial type jobbie in the Government and his Lordship was furious saying “FU, Stick the job up your arse” (or words to that equivalent) to Davy Boy for his pig-ignorant offer after the Tory Party had grabbed his eight million quids FFS! Now then, I quite like Lord Ashcroft and I think he would have been good for the country as a Minister but is it right just cos you is filthy pigging rich that you should buy your way into government, why not, be corrupt, they are, so who GAF anyway!

So, his Lordship seeks revenge by dishing the dirt on our ‘pig-ignorant’ Prime Pig Minister no less and if I were treated by someone like that I would do exactly the same as his Lordship and really stir the shit for the PM (not the ‘pig-shit’ you understand) His Lordship reveals in all the papers that Davy Boy has had ‘a relationship with a pig’ Now where have we been here before? “I did not have sexual relationship with that woman” was the American President’s style but dear old United Kingdom, let’s go for it “I did not have sexual relations with that pig” FFS! What is this country coming to when yer PM pig-shags FFS!
Now then, it is claimed that Cameron also smoked Cannabis, the weed, Le Herb, Spliffs so I cannot criticise him other than to say that the effect of Cannabis (no poisonous tobacco nor nicotine) makes the user much more of a pleasant and thoughtful and calmer and nicer and respectful and understanding and non-confrontational and clean-living (bit like me really) to the rest of the people around them. It also makes the user aware of other people’s feelings and their hardships and injustices in life, however within the first smoke or so you sort of drift away and become forgetful of all the stresses in life and one of the main reason I have the odd spliff or two is to try to forget all about arseholes like David Cameron who has such a high opinion of himself I reckon he is under the impression his poo don’t pong. But, but he possesses absolutely none of the qualities as described above FFS!

He brags, “I was born with two silver spoons in my mouth” but it has not taught him the pig-twat that he is right from wrong, and pig shagging is wrong, wrong, wrong Davy Boy!!
I mean was it male or female or what Davy Boy? I mean was it dead or not and did you kill it? We need to know more Davy Boy, now then for the record was it a full on shag or just a Bustopher Jones jobby? We need to know just to put the records straight so to speak Davy Boy did you enjoy it? And is it true ‘you kissed the pig’ afterwards Davy Boy? Unbelievable!! Outrageous behaviour!!
No wonder other countries take the piss out of the good old United Kingdom when yer crap Prime Minister has an affair with a pig FFS! And Downing Street are not responding to questions and the House of Commons are too busy doing the other end of ‘snorting’ so they are too far gone to have discussed the scandal and they couldn’t GAF anyway!

I would love to stand up as MP for Falmouth and say “Prime Minister, Is it right that you shagged a pig?” Answer you swine!

I asked a farmer if he had heard of anyone having sex with a dead pig and he said “No, but I have had sex with a few cows in my time but they were the two legged variety” Please don’t be rude about our lovely women, thank you! However, today at Newquay I discussed the gossip about our pig shagging PM. I met up with an Irishman a real gent and a regular popular man who told me he didn’t think there was anything wrong in fact he quite liked the idea himself! I kid you not! I want you to know this man was brought to Cornwall for further education like me but it isn’t fricking working on him has it FFS! I won’t give you his name (Oliver) (he answers to Knobby) in case you hassle him cos he might well enjoy that Oink, Oink! Ask him about his huge Dildo collection. He is such a wind-up, he bloody well deserves me disclosing his under the counter collection. Don’t be rude to Geffers YOB!! I don’t know how his very talkative mate puts up with him FFS or each other come to that, I think they were both vaccinated by a gramophone needle FFS! (You are both great fun) ish!

And, whilst I am bitching on about Cameron he is exactly like that other arsehole warmonger Prime Minister Blair only Cameron wants a war in Syria and Syria in his firing line. So he is prepared to spend billions of our country’s dosh instead of spending it on our own people and he’s gonna start interfering into another country’s affairs and it’s a war that is none of his nor of our business and has got frig all to do with any of us peace loving Brits in the first place. NO WAR means NO WAR FFS!!

Spend the money on building a million houses and then another million for all the migrants to live in with only two choices to live Scotland or Scotland, then give them all homes and then build a furking great wall on top of Hadrian’s Wall then lock them all in with the Scots and give them all total Independence the noo!! Bye, bye! And, you can take that Knicker less Sturgeon woman with you and lock her in FFS! Then after 2 years when all the immigrants have been taught the Scottish way to build houses (a bar in every room) and the war in their own country is finished then send the immigrants back to their own country to rebuild the homes that we have just finished bombing to bits FFS!

So Davy Boy, he wants a bombing campaign which is going to kill innocent citizens. And, and the Syrians have now started arriving big time in their droves into this country because their country is at war and we are going to bomb their country FFS! So, come to Great Britain for your own safety all you Syrians or we will kill you in your own homes and towns FFS! The more we bomb the more refugees we get!

But ‘why oh why’ the fuck doesn’t the whole World come to its senses and just put their murder weapons and arms and war machines and ugliness down and do some sensible talking and listening and thinking and agreeing to stop these fucking wars forever and why can’t we just agree to let people live their lives peacefully without the fear of living in their own birth land is beyond me FFS.
What a dreadfully unhappy World for today’s kids to be born into with wars all over the World poverty all over the World unemployment all over the World and lives with no real future! So kick out all yer Prime Ministers and yer Generals and here is the answer!

Part Two;

Later today;

Geoff

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