Gossips and round up of WHATS-ON this winter!
Sorry I am late with this I have a good excuse!
Before she went away my darling wife went berserk for absolutely no reason at all and she has yet to apologise this is what happened. I bought the dog a packet of chews from Trago’s and inside that bag was a sachet deoxidizer with warnings DO NOT EAT plastered on the outside. I put the sachet on my desk and thought nothing more about it until Major Snoop (the wife) came to bring some receipts and at the same time having a good old snoop as to what was on on the desk. She then get’s a bit shiddy with a change of mood going into reverse from her normal happy self she walks out of the office almost slamming the door.’WTF have I done’ I thought but could come up with no explanation so being the brave man I am I go to the kitchen make coffee for two and shout “Your coffee’s ready”

In she walks face like thunder chins are a-wobbling she sits opposite me stares me in the face and says;
“I want to know why you have a CONDOM on your desk and I want to know NOW” I couldn’t believe it “What are you talking about woman” I asked but I could see in her friendly eyes (so friendly they kept looking at each other) she was not mucking about. “Now what the hell would I want with a CONDOM you must be going mental” “No I am not” she screams “There’s one on your desk go and see for your f…..g self” shouts she “Go on then go and LOOK” I depart the happiness of the kitchen and look at my desk and I find nothing, still brave to ‘face the music’ I go back to my coffee and old thunder face “I don’t know what the hell you are on about but I see no CONDOM so there” Up she gets “Then come with me that’s if you haven’t moved it knowing you” she slandered as she stormed into the office up to the desk and shouts “And what the hell is that then” she says pointing at the deoxidizer! “You are going slightly mad woman it came with the chews that I bought for YOUR DOG you need to go to bloody SPECSAVERS get out, get out, get out” Without a word her embarrassment complete she silently walked out of the office and although we have been friendly (ish) she has not mentioned it since. It might well be that her tightfistedness for only paying a bargain quid a bleeding pair of glasses!!

Isn’t it amazing how woman are so beautiful in every way and yet they do not admit when they are in the wrong and have made a complete arse of themselves my lovers! Own goal my lovely lady! Own goal!! God knows what she would have said if she had found my stash of VIAGRA!!

Many buyers and sellers have asked what is going on with the Circus Fields at Newquay where towards the end of the season we moved to the entrance nearest The Kings Head whilst a road system in being constructed inside the original entrance to the fields.
I have met with the management of the new owners Kingsley Village who assure me that Car Boot Sales will most definitely be welcome next year.
Newquay is a very popular location for all of our sellers and buyers and during the peak season we bring more than 5000 to the Circus Fields every week so any shops and stores built within the development will have huge potential from our footfall of customers. A good reason for opening MONKEY TREE is that it will be a back-up for Newquay should we have to cut short our season. I have confidence that Monkey Tree will be great for the main season once it is established, the management of the Holiday Park are most keen to see the Car Boot Sales succeed. For the record there are increasing amounts of people from up-country who come to Cornwall for their holidays and load up their cars to sell at our Car Boots as well which is a brilliant way of paying toward the holidays, we know several regulars who stay at Monkey Tree and sell at our sales.
Directions to Monkey Tree from Circus fields, at the roundabout next to the Circus Fields and Morrison’s go left to the next smaller roundabout bear left and keep on that main road for less than 3 miles where you will see further signs directing you to the main entrance to MONKEY TREE Car Boot Sales on Sundays at 9.00 am

Several customers have asked us to look to see if we could run the Car Boot Sales held at the White River Multi Car Park at St Austell, Rachel and I went to the Car Park and Shopping Complex to have a look to see if there is any potential for our business. We were really impressed with the idea for a totally indoor genuine Car Boot Sale with limited headroom so there won’t be any vans due to the low roofs and you certainly do not want to come to a sudden halt and nearly rip your roof off, been there done that and wasn’t her indoors impressed? Nope!! Anyway we have a meeting with White River next week so I will keep you informed.

I have decided that our own catering will not start until March time so in the interim Mark from Relish Street Foods will have a rent free period over winter to attend and serve food and hot drinks at both Par Market and Monkey Tree. I need more feedback about holding a BOXING DAY Car Boot Sale at PAR MARKET which is on Thursday 26th December 201( your comments please) It’s a brilliant idea because you can sell all those unwanted presents you were given the day before? Bah Humbug!
We don’t do Christmas or birthdays, years ago I bought Lou a present for about forty quid and found the identical item brand new for £3.00 at Falmouth Rugby Club so from then on if we need anything the car boot is the best place to look.
SUNDAY at Truro Cattle Market was excellent with just under 100 sellers and loads of buyers so for all concerned it was a good day. I heard of some very good takings (one stall £280.00) and there certainly was a lot of BARGAINS including some antiques sold for great prices and could be a nice little earner and profits from some of the dealers.
One man went to a stall and asked ‘how much is that music system please’? A tenner says the seller ‘Will you take a fiver’ says the buyer and a ‘deal is done’ at 50% of the asking price. The seller agrees to put the system behind his stall for the buyer to collect later and he pays the seller the fiver. He calls back to the stall saying ‘I have changed my mind and I want my money back’ the seller says ‘No, you knocked me down by five quid, I am not refunding’ “Then I will go and see Geoff he will get my money back” ‘Ok say’s the sellers go and see Geoff’ The buyer explains all to me and I am not really going to be on his side because he knocked the seller down on the original price and when the seller put the system behind the stall he genuinely and quite rightly thought he had sold the system! Cash in the till mate! I spoke with the seller one of our real regulars who goes out of his way to be genuine to his customers. I explained that I believe the seller was in the right to refuse a refund because a deal had been done and that I believe the buyer was in the wrong! As a gesture of goodwill the seller refunded the fiver and ten minutes later he sold the system for the full asking price! Bingo!!
Buyers should remember that sellers are not playing at shops and to buy something after knocking a seller down to half of his asking price and then have the bloody nerve to say ‘I have changed my mind’ amounts to adult stupidity and I personally would have resisted giving a refund, perhaps that’s why I don’t sell my lovers!

On Sunday Lou and I were putting the Car Boot directional signs out for Truro. I was walking through some really thick grass to put our four by two foot CAR BOOT SALE 1 MILE sign tied against a post which I had just about reached when my feet became trapped and I tripped in some heavy brambles falling heavily on my bum, the sign and me were thrown into a heap on the ground overseen by a car full of lads driving by who gave me an amazing toot-toot and cheering, probably thought I was stoned or drunk or both. Anyway, I got up pulled a few thorns out of my hands and tried to walk with this excruciating pain in my bum (right cheek) which has kept me in agony for two days. Walking is difficult you just don’t know on which leg to limp it’s like taking part in the Ministry of funny walks and then to make matters worse the other cheek comes out in sympathy as the pain is doubled. To stand up is agony to sit down is agony and the thought of tackling the ‘loo’ is out of the question but I can always rely on my Lou to deal with the crisis the right way. She thinks it’s hilarious; yes of course it is bloody funny, she calls me ‘the original pain in the arse’! Absolutely no breeding that woman, none at all but I still love her (ish) anyway she assures me ‘there is NO bruising’ so there is no need to make so much fuss so now she thinks I am putting it on! Any advice how to deal with a pain in the bum? Her!!

Some bloke thought he was being amazingly funny when he commented “Hey Geoff you must be some hard up having to make your Mrs to do a Car Boot today” so let’s put the record straight on that one, Lou is her own boss with her own house clearance business. During the last couple of weeks she has been helping a lady of 80 plus years downsize from her large 3 bed roomed house to a flat in Tregony. The lady in question is unable to do a car boot for herself so as part of Lou’s service she sells at the boot sale on behalf of her customer. Simple! Nosey bugger! However, and for the record I always make Lou pay for her stall without discount which really winds her up, that’s why I do it!!

The weekend weather looks friendly to our business so Friday at Falmouth could be busier than usual. Sunday morning ‘why not come to Monkey Tree for 9.00 am Car Boot Sale, bring the kids or your grandchildren then after the sale you can take them to them to any of the local sandy beaches for a walk then home for and early lunch then to Truro for our Car Boot at 1.30 pm and you will have all had just what the doctor ordered ‘a day in the country and some fresh air and some exercise and probably a pain in the butt, Good!

Ps; I have had to do most of this standing up, the pain “Ee its agony Ivy”

X