No-one got this right!!

In 1984 I was the boss at Pontins in Brean Sands Somerset which specialised in various competitions where enthusiasts could spend a whole week on their hobbies like Brass Bands, Model Makers, Country & Western and the most popular DARTS week where people would come from all parts of the country to participate and compete for the top prize of £1000.00 for the winning team. Coaches would arrive full of competitors and spectators their from local clubs and pubs to stay for this ‘special week’ which was wildly and enthusiastically cheered and jeered as pints-a-plenty were consumed to accompany the noisy cheering response as each dart hit the dart boards.

The main event was held in the Mendip Ballroom which was a huge area with bars restaurants and seating for up to 1800 people. At the start of the week over 100 DART BOARDS were assembled as the competition got under way with the noise from the supporters creating an atmosphere that was brilliant.
On duty in reception we had 4 lady staff dealing with bookings one of them was 21 years Miss Kerry Gold who was so full of herself she was abrupt to customers and had an indifferent attitude to the other staff a ‘proper know-all’ despite being told to ‘be nicer to everyone’ she thought she was a cut above the rest. Her best friend was her mirror as she constantly touched up her eye shadow, bleached blonde hair (black roots) and makeup. Louise was the junior at reception and as such was the ‘go-fetch’ receptionist chasing here there and everywhere Kerry treated Lou and the other two girls like ‘shit’ creating a bad working atmosphere. But if there were any public announcement to be done KERRY had to do them because NO-ONE could do them as well as Kerry.

One of the Darts players asked me if it could be announced that the Darts Controller could not commence a certain match without a member of a team. I agreed saying speak to Louise at reception and she will do her first ever announcement however on over hearing the request Kerry took over. The darts player gave Kerry a piece of paper with the details of the alleged missing man and agreed to the announcing for Michael Hunt from Wolverhampton his abbreviated name MIKE HUNT!

Kerry not realising it was a set-up joke announced the following “Can I have your attention please, the Darts Coordinator would like to see MIKE HUNT in the Mendip ballroom immediately please” to which there was a huge outburst of cheering and laughing from the assembled 1000 plus darts players with a few of them rushing to reception to see who had made the announcement! Kerry did not realize she had been conned into this joke and a few minutes later she did the same announcement again when the MENDIP ballroom erupts with jeers and laughter! Louise and the other two girls were in stitches when I arrived at reception to explain to Kerry Gold that she had been tricked but it took time for her to realize the double meaning of her mistake and she was FURIOUS!

Kerry eventually ‘came down from her Ivory tower’ but wherever she is now I bet she blushes if she remembers MIKE HUNT!
Several years earlier I fell for the same joke whilst I was on stage at a show in Newcastle, a man from one of the assembled parties came to the stage gave me a slip of paper asking ‘can you announce this please’ so I did “We have an urgent message for a gentleman his wife has started her labour so would MIKE HUNT please GO home! When the crowd had stopped jeering I realized the gaff. Very funny, very bloody funny!

Geoff
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