Updated 01/06/2019;
A few weeks Lou asked me to take her to the MULBERRY shop in Somerset cos her wanted to look at the hand-made handbags. We walked into the store which was full mainly of handbags and other MULBERRY stuff. I am pretty impatient, I have seen the handbags, now what, shall we go? but no, she the woman I have loved for over 30 years insists on drawing my attention to a brown leather handmade which she models with a huge smile on her face, decision made! I am lead to the cashier which was the first time I learned the price, I looked at Lou ‘how dare you I was only wanting to pay up to a couple of hundred quids.I didn’t dare wipe the smile of her face so kept my trap shut. I ask for a chair whilst I get over the cashiers demand for payment of £650 pounds FFS.

Delighted she was pissed off I was, the journey home with the new handbag made me think behave yourself Geoff and then I remembered this; Many years ago I bought Lou a gift that I paid £50 for, her was pleased, I was pleased. The next weekend at the Car Boot at Truro there on one sellers stall is the identical gift that I had bought for Lou and it was only £8.00 and brand new ffs! We made a vow from that day that we would not buy any presents for each other, no cards no birthdays no anniversaries no Christmas presents nowt!

I looked at her new handbag as she sits there admiring her very own Mulberry and thought it must be fifteen years since I have bought her a present and I have just treated her to a bag costing £650.00 ffs the first present like forever and then I worked out the cost over the fifteen year and fcuk me it works out at an average of £43.00 a year which is about 12 pence a day! What a ‘bargain’ and the smile of happiness beamed across her face or was it a touch of the the belches the dear of her. Isn’t it a tad snobby to ave a bag that cost so much but I am thinking of changing my watch soon and it is not going to be cheap my darling Lou.

Our love has blossomed (until today) since the arrival of the bag which was shown to my lovely Dementia mother in law who took one look at the bag after Lou displayed it and walked out of the room without a word, but she did turn left instead of going right opening the cupboard door thinking it was her bedroom ffs! I live on the funny farm, by the way did you know we have got three Alpacas two goats 6 chickens two Chiwawas and the swallows have returned so life is beautiful all of the time, allegedly. I asked mother in law “What have you been doing all day” she says “Oh I have been milking the Alpacas and the goats” which is a blatant lie cos they are all castrated boys ffs the dear of her. I wouldn’t mind but its all in her mind which is slowing up, such a shame Dementia nice people losing their dignity and their minds, be nice to the carers please. Geoff

Quick story;

My mate Kym dearly loves his wife and as a gift to her he quietly went about buying a car for she paying the stunning price of £1500.00 (wow big spender) anyway he arrived home with the car and her reaction was “Thank-you but I don’t like the car, Kym was mostly pissed off ending up with saying ‘well if you don’t like it then sell ffs!’ He didn’t actually say ffs but it adds to the story! now then wifey back home sets about selling the car and son in law was asked ‘how much should I sell the car for?’ Cockney son in law says “you should get one and a half to sell it quickly” Hooray, wifey is delighted as her sells the car to the first person who paid in cash no less!

My mate Kym gets home after a hard days work as soon as he opens the door her says to him ‘I have sold the car the money is on the mantle-piece’ Kym goes to the mantle-piece checks the money his cheeks are getting inflamed his butt cheeks are tightening as he shouts “Who tf told you to sell it for that price ffs” her replies it was the son in law! Kym phones son in law “WTF price did you tell her indoors to sell that king car ffs” he says ‘I told her one and a half’ “There your are says wifey he told me to sell it for one and a half and that’s what I sold it for one and a half £150.00 OMG FFS WTF!