LOOK at 3 pictures first! Well the truth is out at last and I can reveal that Marge was the latest buyer of this craze to improve your humping and bumping love lives by getting loads of exercise by this new shagging furniture which is now also in the blow-up and much cheaper version (the ones that Marge bought) It was Lady Lynn bragging but she had bought a leather and oak framed one and it was such a huge success in bringing back that old sparkle into their bonking relationships that Lynn & Him always have a smile on their faces. Orli was going to wait for Marge to report about them before deciding and certainly Rosie and Gordon were going to look up eBay so there was a lot of interest. Anyway, Marge had a load of loyalty credits and green shield stamps to redeem at Ann Summers and was offered a special offer for a ‘special customer’ deal two for the price of one of the ‘leathery black shiny with grasp handles ones’ When the assistant suggested having one upstairs and one downstairs she gladly accepted and arranged the delivery with a warning from the assistant to add to the pleasure LOADS of Johnsons baby oil liberally spread will ‘add to the pleasure’ dear! Now you the reader must use your imagination and pick two people in your lives to experiment with the CUPID’S COUCHES that Marge got because these black shiny couches have to be thinly/thickly covered with Johnsons Baby oil which suggests that the two participants start off in the buff-NAKED!! Lovely thought! First study the suggested positions diagram!! So let’s imagine the couple excitedly open up their purchase as they nervously attach the electric pump! While it’s inflating’ lets go and have a quick shower shall we dear’ Returning with hearts pounding and anticipating the unknown they start by squirting the ‘shiny black couch with grasp handles’ with the warmed up Johnsons Baby Oil. Let battle commence as they grapple with each other in wild embraces and kisses and with a good deal of ‘slurping noises at some time of other’ Hopefully this act is carried out in the dark cos it could be an unbearable sight knowing some of our couples who are also considering buying these love couches! I cannot imagine any real ‘sex act’ going on, I think it would be like trying to push a melting marshmallow into your money box! Yuck, yuck and Yuck again! Then at the end of the performance its lights on time and who is going to clean the love couch and pack it away? Let’s carry it to the shower dear! I predict there will be loads of them for sale at our Car Boots and for the first time ever I will believe their description! USED only ONCE! But not MARGE she will soldier on and off and on and… so why did she get two? Well if you have one downstairs you could leave it half-inflated under the kitchen table ‘for a quick opportunity’ (shag) but don’t under inflate or you could do serious injuries to both parties and for goodness sake don’t let the bleeding grandchildren find it hidden in the kitchen or you will have some serious lies to tell! Back to Marge, she is kindly going to lend the unopened one to Rachel who intends going back to BUTLINS soon and we all know what happened last time…..more to follow! Ps; Leave Marge Alone! I have full permission from Marge to print this story but I refused the high fees demanded for her to model with her ’Black Shiny Cupids Love Couch with grasp handles’ in her Red Room of Pain!