These are NOT written by me apart from the first one which I nicked from someone else. Enjoy;

1. There was a Young Man from Kent, whose tool was exceedingly bent.
So, to save himself trouble, he put it in double,
instead of coming he went!

2. There once was a man from Bel Air
Who was giving his wife one his wife on the stair,
The banister broke, so he doubled his stroke and finished her off in mid-air

3. A strange young fellow from Leeds.
Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass, sprouted out of his ass and his balls were covered with weeds.

4.
There once was a man from Sprocket,
Who went for a ride in a rocket,
The rocket went bang, His balls went clang, and he found his dick in his pocket!

5. There was a young man from Brighton,
Who thought he’d at last found a tight ‘un?
He said, “Oh my love, it fits like a glove.”
Said she, “But you’re not in the right ‘un.”

8. There was a young girl of Cape Cod.
Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
But ’twas not the Almighty Who hiked up her nightie,
It were Roger, the lodger, the sod!

9. There once was a man from Madras,
Whose balls were made of brass,
In stormy weather They clang together.
And sparks fly out of his ass!

10. There was a young maid from Madras,
Who had a magnificent ass; Not rounded and pink, as you would probably think,
Cos it were grey had long ears, and only ate grass?

11. There was a young sailor named Bates,
Who danced the fandango on skates?
But a fall on his cutlass, has rendered him nut-less,
And practically useless on dates.

Geoff Says;

Send you Limericks to;

Brilliant picture of MITCHELL + Spliff;-D
Thank you for observing my deliberate error. Geoff