Do you remember this:

Today at Falmouth I met two of the ladies who were injured (see details below) and I am delighted to tell you that both of them have now received compensation one receiving £13,500.00 and the other lady was paid £27,000.00 for her leg injuries of which she is still suffering considerable pain. I regret however that the local Solicitors in Truro were not interested in pursuing the claims on behalf of the injured parties. The driver of the offending SKODA bragged that the injured would ‘not get a penny’ how wrong she was and I hope that her Car Insurance premiums went up in leaps and bounds. She was callous and disinterested and I am proud of the two injured ladies as they pursued their claims for this compensation pay-out.

MAJOR INCIDENT REPORT 11th June 2010-10-13
Falmouth Rugby Club FRIDAY 12.50 pm

On the weather forecast good weather was reported so it was assumed that we would be allowed on the pitch on a warm sunny day 11th June.

Louise who had damaged her eye two days earlier took time off to recuperate but I had adequate staffing with Becky, Hayley, John & Beth.

When I arrived to set up the ground for our CAR BOOT SALE I made a point of speaking with the club secretary to see if there could be a way in which we could use just the dead ball area for parking some of the sellers. He advised that the matter was not one for his decision so we would have to make do with the hard standing gravel grounds.

I parked up the seller’s one lady driving a green SKODA was allocated her space she seemed agitated on arrival complaining about the time for her to set up and the space allocated was not enough. I told her to ‘calm down’ and to do the same as the other sellers and set her stall up. My own vehicle was parked within 4 yards of the SKODA next to the catering vehicles comprising of Burgher Van and an Ice-Cream trailer.

At 12.30 pm I checked all stalls and the majority of the sellers were ready, I sounded the HORN for the commencement of the CAR BOOT SALE. The sale was lively to start with over 1000 buyers attending.

At 12.50 pm a lady asked me for one of our books with times and dates and I opened the car door to get the book and suddenly I heard several loud screams and shouts of ‘help’ from ladies, I turned to witness the SKODA car had lurched forward onto 7-8 buyers who were looking at items for sale displayed on the ground in front of the SKODA.

The car was lying on top of the buyers the engine was revving and several people tried to push the car back to no avail. Paul from LTC catering got into the car to attempt to turn the engine off, eventually the car was lifted off the injured ladies and the emergency services were called.

It seems that the driver of the SKODA had left her car in gear with the handbrake off and she left the keys were in the ignition. At 12.50 pm she decided to close the windows turned the key on and the car lurched forward crushing the casualties.

8 ladies attended hospital and amongst the injured was Candice Collins who was six months pregnant, we have recently heard Candice has given birth and mother and baby are doing well.

Special thanks to all our customers who helped and full praise to the emergency services and paramedics who attended to our customers. PC Andy Mulhern was a credit to the Police in the most understanding way in which he conducted his enquiries.

Several witnesses were most helpful but it should go on record that the incident could have been worse if it was for the prompt action and help from the staff of LTC Catering Kelly, Michelle and Paul. Thank you!

I have spoken to all of the injured recently, it is obvious they have suffered pains and shock but I am pleased to report there are no serious injuries caused to our customers.

The problem we all have to suffer is the ‘flash backs’ in hearing the desperate screams of the injured ladies as they lay under the trapped under this vehicle.

The driver of the SKODA through her own negligence caused this accident, she was questioned by the Police and breathalysed, and the result was clean therefore there were no charges.

Some of the injured persons are dealing with their own Solicitors to claim loss of earnings and for their injuries.

We have known most of the injured persons for many years who are regular visitors to the Car Boot Sales at Falmouth Rugby Club since 1989 they are all nice people we love them all!

This incident does bring into question the safety of our customers, but for the fact that we were NOT ALLOWED on the pitch dead ball area this accident could not and would not have happened.
Geoff
13th October 2010
Click on to the picture for 5 more scenes!

We have a lovely customer whom we have known for many years and she is truly adorable, she has two brat kids and I do mean BRATS but we love them all as family. I asked our friend Lisa-Lisa if she knew of anyone who would work at our car boot sales during the summer and she was delighted to introduce her niece Alice and her twin brother Henry and big brother Oli (or oil to his mates).

They have been with us for a few weeks and it’s a pleasure to work with them (I think). Oli is at University studying BUSINESS MANAGEMENT so what better experience and management training for him to have than to start off by running the new Car Boot Sales at TRURO Cattle Market on MONDAYS at 1.30pm and his brother and sister will help and there are two other brothers to assist if needed.

I will give them a dummy run on the first Monday but I think the three of the are really keen and very capable of the challenge. Please be supportive of their efforts, I have every confidence. GAME ON!!

I heard a rumour that Rooney was whistling “I’m going home, going home” but it was only a rumour however at NEWQUAY today at our Car Boot Sale I did a survey “would England win tonight” and the women were emphatic in their reply “NO” Why cant they say “YES” occasionally. Anyway I hope England gets what it deserves tonight but I do detect that there is not a lot of enthusiasm amongst our 1000 odd customers today but learn a lesson from this, if England were to go all the way in this most corrupt WORLD CUP it would be dreadful for the Car Boot business and I do mean for you sellers.

I know of a couple who wish to remain anonymous (Kim and Andy)who have their glasses in the fridge and a twelve pack each for tonight’s match and from the glint in her eye it seems Andy is in for some rumpie pumpie tonight. Win or lose! You lucky sod! Last time I gave my missus a can of lager she only drank half and blamed me for spilling the other half on the carpet.

Enjoy the match!

Come home England only with the corrupt WORLD CUP please!!

Nearly all of the people who spoke with me about England and its chances of beating ITALY all said that England would lose, the whole country believed that we would lose and we lost, so there!

The biggest criticism comes from the women who have said “these players are so rich they don’t really make that extra effort to win for England, most of them are millionaires filthy rich spoilt brats to say nothing about Rooney who has passed his sell by date” and at the end when we lost the players wander around the field almost in an overacted daze and an expression of “wot did I do wrong’ and that my lovers is the summary of our ladies and I agree with them.

But, but, it could all change at the next match so put up your flags on the cars again!!

Come on England or should it be Come Home England??

Have a great time at Mitchell today then home for a Barbeque then get the kids off to bed have a quick cuddle on the settee, turn the telly on and watch England lose! I do hope not but there is not the great enthusiasm like in previous years from our customers. I only saw one flag today which was lying in the gutter? A couple of stall holders are selling flags from the past 3 world cups, good luck to them and COME ON ENGLAND!

We seriously get a lot of phone calls enquiring which Car Boot Sales are on and we answer sometimes in person but mostly by answer phone. Today a man phoned and said “At the risk of being abused on ‘Geoff Says’ could I ask what time Falmouth is on please” What a bloody nerve, so I am an abuser am I?
Anyway his comment made my day that in some way people think I am a rude old bastard and most of the time I agree wholeheartedly with them. Thank you!

Now then, the gossip machine CAPITAL of Cornwall (Hayle Rugby Club Sunday 3am Car Boot Sales) have been speculating that Lee Miles of LTC Catering & Roseworthy Farms and me are at WAR with each other which is a load of old balls, Lee was at my house today and we are planning to go on another holiday together so all the ‘know-alls’ can BUTT OUT but here is some good gossip “We ARE NOT TAKING OUR WIVES” OMG! WTF! I can hear the questions now, are they taking their girl-friends or are they GAY?? I can speak for both Lee and myself we are NOT Gay, we just help them out when they are busy, and are we are NOT taking our girlfriends? No need, with our personality good looks and personal charm we will score as soon as we arrive, we did last time we went ‘alone’ to St Kitts. Only problem is we have to speak with our wives first to get permission first, that should kill conversations for a while?

Lee often tells me the ‘gossipers from HAYLE are ‘aving a go at me’ saying I write such CRAP in Geoff Says and apparently it really pisses them off, I personally don’t GAF but here is some good advice, if you don’t like it then DONT effing read it, idiots!!

Lee was telling me about one of his workers who got some Viagra tablets for the first time and wanted to make absolutely sure they worked so swallowed 3 before making love with his missus. It took him 4 days to lose an erection and his missus left him on day two so he had to take himself in hand! Hilarious!

We used to have a market trader at HENDRA HOLIDAYS Markets called Charlie Socks and I caught him selling copy/fake Indian Viagra tablets and I had to warn him against selling prescription drugs. He was a decent bloke and gave a packet to some young lad on the next stall to him! Now Marge I don’t think you should read the rest of this cos it ‘gets a bit horny’

Part Two
Charlie Socks (my name for him) had a daughter of about 16/18 an attractive lass of more than ample proportions who was attracted to the young lad on the next stall so they went for a walk around the Market stalls. Buying himself a drink and fancying the attractive lass of more than ample proportions he swallowed one of his Viagra’s.
Meanwhile I was walking through the market stalls I noticed there were several people standing on the embankment where Hendra holiday caravans were parked. The people were looking at something at the bottom of the embankment so nosey old me I decide let’s go look to see what is going on and ‘what are they looking at’?

Charlie Socks always erected a Market stall so I walked behind the stall to see his daughter and the young lad laying in the grass have a good old fashioned shag unaware of the fact that a growing crowd were witnessing their efforts from up above.
It’s true, sadly Charlie Socks is no more, for the three years that I knew Charlie he had the same old knitted sweater that was caked with bits of food from over the years, one day he picked up our Jack Russell Binks, she started by trying to eat his sweater! Yuck, put her down! You dirty BITCH.

Anyway back to Falmouth on Friday it was a total non-event with 20 odd sellers and FREE admission. The BBC forecast was wrong yet again but lots stayed away because the Fairground is at the Rugby Club which is probably the wrong attitude, the Fair must go somewhere for the customers who enjoy the thrills and spills of the rides mixed with the occasional child like punch ups. Give it up lads Falmouth is not an agro town!
On Saturday once again the BEEB got their forecasts wrong because I did not see rain all day however Truro was totally unsupported which justifies my decision to close Saturday Car Boots at Truro and open on MONDAYS. The start date will follow! Mitchell was very quiet and obviously the lack of support was due to the Royal Cornwall Show and pessimists who turn on to the weather on BBC and believe everything they forecast.
Sunday at 3.00pm Lanhydrock Car Boot Sale will most definitely be on today the turnout last week was as a result of Rugby supporters who were following their team’s loss! Result!!

Now then, I must tell you all about this man who phones and asks if we do house clearances, he assured me it was all good stuff and he had taken the trouble to totally wrap each item and provide lists on each item and another list as to what was in each box.
This man could talk the hind legs off a camels arse and suffered from ‘the verbal craps, so I handed the phone to the lovely Lou to take details with one word BEWARE!! Anyway the lovely Lou went to the house and Lo and Behold in the garage were twenty boxes all taped up with the promised lists attached.

She pointed out that she did not have the time to open each of the boxes so they agreed that Lou would sell the boxed items at Newquay Car Boot on Thursday and share 50/50 on the takings. So Lou takes the boxes and cons me into helping unwrap the contents to display them.
You know what it’s like when you get home from the Car Boot and all the unsold junk goes straight into your dustbin, well I reckon this old fart had been going round the dustbins for a long time, I have never seen such unadulterated crap in all my years at doing car boots in fact I wanted to ring Mr Chatterbox and tell him “If we left the boxes for 1000 years they would still be worthless” but the shock was on him, his share so far ‘fifteen quid’ I had a bloody good laugh as I refused to help with any more than one box, so far Lou has put two boxes out of the first seven by for ‘the local charity shop’ to put in their bins I suppose? What have they done to deserve your generosity darling?

Poor forecasting by the BBC does very little to enhance our business and is even worse for the sellers who decide “the BBC says its gonna rain” so we wont sell today! Over 60 sellers decided to brave the bad weather which did not arrive. It really pisses me off when the BEEB forecasts so badly that people decide ‘let’s stay at home for the day’ And you get local these local TV weather presenters who could surely do well by going around some of our car boot sales to buy something decent to wear, some of the clothes the lady presenters wear would be better ‘destined to dusters’ cos they look out of the arc!
Nice ladies they are but I think they must have fun in the studio ‘who can wear the worst outfit’ My missus bought a brand new with tags top from the boot sale, when she tried it on it looks hideous ‘donate that to the BBC local weather presenters’ I suggested but no she insisted on wearing it!

I am not being rude but I think it should belong to a lady who must have THREE boobs two on the front and the largest one in the middle of her back, as ugly as sin but great fun to dance with. Send it to mother dear!!

On the serious side a seller gentleman we have known for years called an ambulance because he felt as though he had had a stroke at his stall. The paramedics gent arrived and decided to organise an ambulance immediately to take the seller to hospital. Rachel and I packed up and secured the mans car with all his selling items as he was duly rushed to hospital I cannot report any further until Thursday however I must praised the Emergency Services for their prompt attention and their efficiency in caring for our customer. Thank you! Geoff X

On Tuesday and Thursday last week we shared the grounds at Newquay with the Anderton & Roland’s fairground which raised a few complaints from people who wanted to moan just for the sake of it. We the car booters do not have any absolute rights to use the lands but the Fairground has because they actually are the owners of the land so if they want to come and do another fair I will give them all the support they gave to us on both days which drew record crowds to both events.

At Mitchell on Saturday some sellers arrived at 9.00am to start the queue for the Car Boot Sale which starts at 1.30pm. It is unreasonable to queue that early and I would ask all sellers please do not arrive to Q before 10.30 please.

For the record we received loads of compliments regarding the new spacious car boot lanes which is fairer to both sellers and buyers but you still get the odd group of gas-bags who like to stand around in small groups and in every buggers way just like in the supermarkets and didn’t I get some complaints about bloody dogs with suggestions that we make a CHARGE for all dogs. The worse ones are the emaciated scrawny rat looking toy dogs that are allowed to ‘go on a long lead’ which is especially difficult for those short sighted old twats like me getting tripped up by the invisible leads! FFS!

Some idiot called the Police claiming that one of our sellers was selling stolen bottles of REDEX from his ex employer which amounted to a total of about forty quid in value. The Police duly arrived and carried out their investigation which took about an hour disrupting the smooth running of our Car Boot Sale, within minute like Chinese whispers the rumours started as people came up to ‘have a look’ and add their observations to whoever would listen.
Bottom line; The motor mouth who rang the police in the first place should have had the courtesy to advise any member of my team of his intentions, the Police should also have had the courtesy to notify at least one our management team that they were on site. Politeness costs nothing they would expect it from me wouldn’t they? Its the Community Stupid! However as a matter of fact our sellers do not and did not like the idea of the Police at Car Boot Sales, the majority of our sellers and buyers enjoy the ‘time out’ friendly atmosphere at our sales and as a point of interest the Police have only been called to any of my sales a maximum of 6 times in 25 odd years so to make a 999 call and waste ‘police time’ from any of our sales amounts to absolute stupidity 999% of the time.

Anyway back to the Car Boot a great turnout fantastic atmosphere and loadsa bargains but we still have the problem that MITCHELL is too busy. Most of the land surrounding our Car Boot Sale is Duchy Land so it is unlikely they would allow us the use of their nearby fields for extra parking, even if they did consider the rent would be prohibitive. Manager Rachel is saying “let’s do Saturdays & Sundays at Mitchell” any suggestions will be welcomed! Must congratulate the Landlord David Leggo for the way in which he presents the fields at Mitchell, we get more compliments about Mitchell than any of our 11 locations.

SUNDAY at MABE! Down on sellers as rain was forecast but a good crowd of buyers bought thousands of BARGAINS including antiques gold and silver and of course loads of household items clothing and kids toys galore. The sellers of the second-hand boxed toys ‘almost in as new condition’ had sensibly kept the original boxes and were able to charge realistic prices with two buyers showing me toys they had bought as Christmas pressies, nice idea. All I ever got as a kid for Christmas was a book and a box of liquorice allsorts and I used to have to share the bloody allsorts with the other kids in the home.

Now then, two very regular Car Booters who go to all the sales told me that my ears should have been burning because at Hayle today someone was “aving a right go about me” telling any person who would listen “That Geoff bloke is losing is Car Boot Empire wot ee as built up cos I mean ee as lost Truro aint ee cos your council are taking that over and all the rest are finishing soon so I reckon ee as add it” Do you recognise oo talks like that”? Of course it’s JIM you remember “I park Cars” Jim or Jimbo to his friends. And where was Jim standing when ee was aving is moan and groan about me? Ee was standing at the gates of Hayle waiting for them to be opened for the car boot to start and ooze idea was it to make buyers queue in the first place, it was MINE you old sod!! Some people are telling me you are looking your age son.

Now then, to put you completely in the picture we are starting Car Boot Sales at MONKEY TREE on Wednesdays! And Jim, so as you get your facts right we are changing our Saturdays at Truro to MONDAYS at Truro very soon because the farm machinery sales do Saturdays and no-one else is open on a Monday with Car Boot Sales so now you can spread the word that the Cattle Market is NOT CLOSING DOWN dear! Start times to be advised.
Ps; Jimbo, you has a right to reply my lover?

Ok so I got it wrong but I have told everyone it was Lou who made the mistake but both of us proof read the leaflet so they will be reprinted.

The error is that we advertise Mitchell on a Wednesday but we are NOT! we tried Wednesdays before and there was not much support however I am wanting to change MONKEY TREE from a Sunday to WEDNESDAYS at 12.00 noon when we start our season. Any comments please ?

The ‘I am missing Marge’ campaign worked with loads of gossip about her travels however she is back and looks better for the much needed break and a further chin tuck. Actually she went to see her family welcome back, we missed you. Well I did. X

Short film from Brazil; I want to see this idea catching on at our Car Boot Sales please-pretty please!!

https://xmissy.nl/item/102040/vengaboys—2-brazil

Geoff Says; Here is a good way to raise money for Air Ambulance you buy the numbered balls from the sellers at our Car Boot Sale and on a selected day all of the balls are thrown into the COBER river and the first three balls that pass the finishing line wins some great prizes!
At two quid a ball with all the monies raised going to Air Ambulance.
Seems like a great idea and a good community thing to do why not run a boot sale there that’ll bring the crowds out!

We will give them FREE stalls for their collection, it would make a good day out really why not take the kids to watch daddies numbered balls floating down the Cober River!

Enjoy your day!

…………………………………………
Ball Splash

From:
Rachael ()

Sent: 22 May 2014 17:59:24
To: Geoff Camden-Wiles ()
Hi Geoff
Glad photos came through okay.
Our headline charity this year will be Cornwall Air Ambulance, as we invited one of their representatives to our club the other week and she reminded us all as to how lucky we are to have this amazing service.
Smaller local charities will also benefit from the event and we decide on these dependent on the amount we raise.
Have read with interest your Geoff Says, so look forward to hearing about Cober Valley at some stage!

Many thanks
Rachael

Hi Geoff
Yes, it absolutely fine to copy my letter into Geoff Says.. We are called Cober Valley Helston Rotary Club and I can forward you a number of photos of our previous Ball Splashes! ….
I have spoken to our President, Ian Munday, who deals with the Internet/website side and he is happy to liaise with you.
Hope that answers a few of your questions.
Again, many thanks
Rachael

On 20 May 2014, at 13:59, “Geoff Camden-Wiles” wrote:
Hello Rachel,
Is it ok for me to copy your letter into Geoff Says please to get some advanced publicity please. As soon as you are ready with Internet advertising we will copy into our website all contact details. Do you have any pictures of previous occasions of your charity.

By the way what do you call your selves ?
Regards,
Geoff

________________________________________
Subject: Re: Your charity;
From:
Date: Sun, 18 May 2014 17:59:52 +0100
To:
Hi Geoff
Thank you for your swift response regarding our fundraising event and the enthusiasm you have shown!
Ian, our President at the moment, deals with all the Internet business and keeping our website up to date. The publicity will be on our Rotary website very soon and I am wondering if you can use this on your website. This would be amazing….
To confirm a number of points you made:-
The event will be held at Coronation Park Boating Lake, Helston, on Sunday, September 14th (time to be confirmed)
Each tennis ball costs £2 to buy and will be numbered just as a duck race is organised.
All the balls will then be poured into the Cober River, arriving at the park and contained with fencing to comply with all Health and Safety procedures (Risk assessment forms will be completed and permission granted beforehand, as on previous years).
The prizes range from a cash prize to local vouchers for venues i.e The Seal Sanctuary and local restaurants who have donated them to our day.
We are a registered charity and comply with all the regulations from our Rotary Headquarters.
We will be choosing our local headline charity at the commencement of the Rotary year on the 1st July. Again, I will inform you immediately.

Again, many thanks and look forward to meeting you very soon

Kind regards

Rachael

On 16 May 2014, at 17:29, “Geoff Camden-Wiles” wrote:
Hello Rachel,

Further to our chat today please feel free to contact me at any time to discuss your charity which Car Boot Cornwall will support wholeheartedly. Once you have some Internet Publicity I will publicise on our website (over 750,000 hits)

I look forward to meeting with you and Louise knows all about our conversations so if I am not available ask for Lou.

Your enthusiasm to succeed speaks volumes for the causes!

Can you just drop me a few lines in particular the involvement of tennis balls sold for £2.00 each and what sort of prizes are involved also the actual date of the tennis balls are floated down the river, also where the proceeds are going? Have you registered the charity?

Kindest regards,
Geoff
Mobile;
078 078 078 88