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Aircraft Museum-Newquay

In 2012 Car Boots Cornwall were invited to look into the possibilities of running Car Boot Sales at the Aircraft Museum which is situated on the same main ‘B’ road as the Newquay Airport. Had we of been interested we could perhaps have held the Car Boots inside one of the hangers. However Lou and I visited the location (on Museum open day-only 6 cars in the car park) and we decided most definitely that we would not be interested at all. Our chances of achieving a realistic business both for ourselves and potential sellers would not make business sense at all therefore we declined the invitation.

I was therefore surprised last week when a lady forcefully demanded (whilst I was standing in the pissing rain at Par) that I review our decision and that we should go to this Aircraft Museum and start ‘doing Car Boot Sales there straight away’ which idea completely lacks common sense.

I would remind all readers that right on the doorstep in Newquay we had TWO failed Car Boot Sales which the lady in question was involved with that closed down due to the lack of success, they were of course Tretherras School and Porth Caravan Park.

I have the greatest respect for all women with the exception of the odd one who do not ‘engage brain’ before making unrealistic demands to have a Car Boot Sale on every street corner!! It’s a bit like opening your mouth and letting the wind blowing your tongue aimlessly around, dear!!

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To whom it may concern;

Lee Miles and LTC Catering and Roseworthy Farms are alive and well thank you!

Today I had a meeting with Lee to discuss the forthcoming season and various other matters including the rumours concerning that “he and LTC Catering and Roseworthy Farms have gone bust and that he is heading for the loony bin” WALOBs (what a load of b…cks)

His outdoor Catering Empire is the largest in the South West he has a huge property portfolio providing essential and comfortable rented accommodation for countless Cornish people. Lee is a most successful pig/cattle farmer and a most competent builder. Jealousy of successful business people often drives gossipers to talk absolute rubbish about successful people. Whilst Lee and I over 15 years may have had our odd differences I personally admire the way in which he and his entire family have worked so hard to build up their family businesses.

I only wish one of my sons had had the BALLS to have been such the success that Lee has been with many -many more years to succeed further. Go for it Lee Miles!!

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Updates;

There is no news regarding the start dates of the majority of our Car Boot Sales due to the dreadful weather and ground conditions at all locations.
We have pencilled in Mitchell starting on the first week in April and it is hoped that other venues will be ready for Easter but all buyers and sellers should remember the dreadful weather we have had since late October which has had a detrimental affect on all Car Boot Sales and GROUND CONDITIONS in the West Country. Sorry, truth hurts!

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Car Boots Cornwall 25th year!!

GREETINGS for this our 25th YEAR of running CAR BOOTS CORNWALL it is February 2014 and we have had probably the worst winter weather for many years yet despite all this we have not suffered as bad as Devon & Somerset with severe waterlogged grounds. We hope you enjoy our sales during the coming season and should you wish to contact us please use the following email address;

SO YOU WANT TO DO A BOOT SALE?

You do not have anything to worry about from our side all advertised Car Boot Sales will go ahead (subject to weather conditions) You do not have to book or reserve a space, all of our locations have adequate space however it is advisable that you arrive at least one hour before start times, some sellers prefer to allow 2 hours in order that they get a space near the main entrance to the sale but seriously if you have the BARGAINS and a good stall whatever position you are setting up in the field the buyers WILL find you and enjoy spending money on your stall. All you have to do is arrive with your car sensibly loaded at the main gates where a member of our team will point you in the direction of the sellers queue. All of our sales are operated to start at the advertised times so as a seller you will be shown to your selling space half an hour before the start times. Please ensure when you park up that your engine is turned off and that your keys will not be lost also ensure your car BRAKES are on.

SETTING UP YOUR STALL!

Once you are parked safely open up your BOOT and the first items you will get out will probably be your tables. If you do not have tables don’t worry you can always put your items for sale on boxes or a blanket or a ground sheet or similar. We do not hire tables to sellers! During the setting up of your stall you are NOT allowed to either buy or sell nor look around at other stalls nor try to get another stall to reserve items on their stall for you to buy after the sale has started. Whilst you are setting up your selling area be careful that you are totally secure conscious and that you cash floats are in a very safe place (watch out there’s a thief about) When you have set your stall up which should take 15/20 minutes check that you have place your valuable items at the back of the table for security.

THE START OF THE SALE!

Whilst you are setting up hopefully many hundreds of buyers are arriving and at the correct time (5 minutes lee-way) the horn will blast to start the sale when all of the buyers will rush to your stalls and if you have got it right you should start taking money from the off! Once the initial rush is calmer look at your stall and move your displayed items around to ensure your potential customer can see everything on your tables. Be confident in your stalls, be nice to your customers but not over friendly and feel confident that once you have sold an item and you say “yes it works” make sure of your facts otherwise potential customers could be entitled to a REFUND. If a customer is sold an item that is not ‘all you claim it to be’ then Car Boots Cornwall would support that customer to gaining a full refund.

IT IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!

Take it seriously, you are a shop-keeper for a couple of hours and you should enjoy yourself and be able to sell off your unwanted items and make some money. Occasionally we get young kids and teenagers set up stall which they do with great pride and enthusiasm and they do a GREAT job, if they can do it, so now it’s your turn. ENJOY!

And finally; Leave no rubbish, please.

Geoff & Louise Camden Wiles
CARBOOTSCORNWALL

078 078 078 88

9 pictures which have nothing to do with the above!!

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Today at Stithians Dam !

What a lovely day to go and have a look at Stithians Dam with really very cold bracing winds but an absolute must if you want to get cold bracing air into your lungs, even the birds had deserted this location in fact there was only one other car parked up as we walked across the Dam Bridge. Our dog Nana Moon was almost crawling on her belly as the thousands of gallons and high waves gushed around her as she hid her tail from the biting winds!

I recommend you take Mother there it will do her the world of good, I know Marge and Doreen used to jog around the entire lake in their younger days but truthfully it is well worth a visit, sod all to see apart from water but what fabulous exercise and brilliant for your lungs with all that fresh air!

Bet Cameron announces a hose pipe ban once he has put his wellies away. Instead of poncing around in 6 inch puddles looking for cameras to talk to all the time he could have had the courtesy to have gone to the Sochi games and given that Putin blokie a slap on the back congratulating him for doing such a good job with the Winter Olympics 2014 which is a credit to Russia and the rest of the World.

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Do have a lovely day despite the weather you can still stay indoors and have a fireside cuddle or even go to bed early for that belated promise. Three years ago on Valentine’s Day I sent Lou a lovely text message full of love and caring but her happiness was short lived when she found out I sent the same message to all the ladies phone numbers on my mobile as a joke! It was a JOKE honestly, Lou thought it was hilarious (I don’t think) we don’t do cards any more. Sod the weather enjoy your day. Geoff X X

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Mauritius; Part One

Gatwick Airport has right on its doorstep a Premier Inn so with the special offer of only twenty nine quid (instead of £78.00) we took advantage to stay overnight for the 7.30am flight the following day. We had travelled by train from Truro to Gatwick and prepared ourselves for the 13 plus hours flight time but first we had to deal with customs.
I hate and loathe customs procedures and I object to the almost strip search that millions of us go through each year just to go on a well earned holiday. You show your passports to at least 4 unknowns before you actually get within sight of the departure lounge, then you go through this over the top exhibition of security and I get so frigging irritable especially when you have to go through this system in this our 21st Century. Your personal privacy is lost from here on in!

You are given a plastic box to empty all of your personal items then you have to put all of your stuff into this box where other peoples dead and sweaty skin and bugs lurk, you take everything out of your pockets including your snot rags and all coins and your wallets, you take your watches and bracelets off you then have to take your bleeding jackets off and your belts making it likely your pants will fall down so wear clean grundies lads, then you have to take your pigging shoes off and stand in some sweaty foot area that any Tom Dick or Stinky Feet has stood before you whilst this security man demands “Put your arms out straight and open your legs” and without asking he gives you a personal inch by inch frisk all because the bloody security camera buzzed as I tried to go through the green for GO section and Lou is standing there grinning from ear to ear. ‘I mean man WTF did you expect to find there anyway’ as he drives his hands close to my private parts to establish and examine my prostrate and realize that I really was much better blessed than him! During this ‘feeling’ process he is wearing plastic gloves I don’t know whether that’s to protect him from me or me from all of those previous bodies these gloved have groped. I asked the man “why did the machine buzz” and his reply! ‘No reason it was just a random selection’ I was sodding livid, livid, livid!!! But as I looked across at Lou she had spoofed me and won a five quid bet, she had wound me up by saying “I bet you get stopped and frisked” and she was looking some frigging smug that pissed me off further. I make a mental note to get even with her before the holiday has ended ‘my darling wife you smug biatch!! Then this happened;

We get on the plane opting for the back seats where hopefully you can get three seats for the two, we notice a stewardess talking to a young Mauritian girl sitting on the outside of our row. We were introduced ‘this is Marie she is unaccompanied and she is 6 years old going home to her family and would we mind looking after her’ Marie could not speak English so Lou was in her element speaking her broken French to this truly adorable and very pretty child who was so confident in herself treating travelling alone at that age as a huge adventure. She was obviously from a well off family they had provided numerous games and books to amuse herself on her long flight. She made such a fuss of Lou and in no time was sitting on her lap reading books and crayoning. Later she fell asleep cuddled into Lou, a nice moment and a very nice kid who was so well behaved. At the end of the journey the Stewardess came to collect Marie and thanked Lou for looking after her and then escorted her off the plane to her carer, what a lovely way to start a holiday. That’s what type of nice kids we like, the one’s you can hand back to someone else!

Mauritius has a fantastic Airport everyone is so friendly it operates far better and more civilised than Gatwick. You will all know that when you enter some countries you have to fill in and complete a form declaring all sorts of information including where you are staying. For the life of me I could not remember the name of the alleged Villa nor the address. When it came to my turn at Customs I was asked why I did not fill in ‘Where are you staying’. “Oh” says Geoff confidently (It’s in the bag Darling with all the other information) “Not it’s not and do not try to blame me” retorts Lou.

Now then, this customs bloke is also a copper as the police do all customs duties and whilst he was pleasant he said “I cannot let you into the Country if you do not have the address of where you are staying” I saw Lou’s face which said “Get out of this one smart arse” and then I had a brilliant idea “Ah” said I “there is a man meeting me outside to take us to the Villa” so with that I have to leave my very terse double chins a-jutting wife Lou standing outside customs (refused entry) whilst I get escorted to a crowd of local taxi drivers where I eventually see the driver with a sign CAMDEN WILES who gave the customs bloke the information he needed, thank god! The copper was an ok bloke but he was dead serious that he would not let us in without an address which red tape is a load of tosh because the last time I came to Mauritius I gave the address of where we were staying but when we arrived the alleged Villa was so bad I *immediately said “We are definitely not staying here” so I went searching in the baking hot sun and an hour later I luckily found a better apartment for the holiday and told absolutely no one at Customs! It is fair for me to criticise the apparent lack of supervision by Mauritius Tourism Authorities on all aspects of the holiday accommodation ‘which is not all that it is claimed to be by some CON Landlords working from the UK selling holiday apartments flats and villa’s that do not match up to the descriptions advertised on the Internet and the personal assurances given by them are worthless’

We have twice been to Mauritius and can only warn beware of the accommodation, once you have got over that hurdle the world is Mauritius!! So,we arrive at the accommodation which is a huge disappointment from the adverts on the website run by a firm called SACHA RESORTS and certainly in no way was it the “Luxury” (they claimed) dirty heavily stained pillows is a major turn off to start with, and “privacy” what privacy? (I note that most of their website has been dismantled since my complaints) I decided we would only stay a week and find another quieter and a more private location for the second week. We could not believe our luck when Lou found an apartment for 6 persons, 3 bathrooms, private swimming pool and that the other apartments were empty so we could have the whole place just the two of us to ourselves for only thirty quid a night so without seeing it we took a chance and booked for week two.

During the first week we travelled all around the villages, the shops, the markets and the superstores and as we both like ‘people watching’ we wanted to study the Mauritians and their country. Mauritius must rate as one of the happiest countries in the World we have ever been, they are so polite and civilised towards everyone and they are very proud of their tourist industry which is a vital part of their economy. Their country is beautiful in every possible way, they have the best beaches in the world, beautiful blue skies and oceans, amazing heavy downpours of rain that are dried up in no time, the countryside is just like home back here in our summer with beautiful lush green colours and vegetations and amazing varieties of colourful plants and flowers, no wonder they are a happy people.
They gained Independence from the British is 1968 and are one of the most successful countries in India. They have a great President Kailish Purryag who is very well respected leader of Mauritius. In particularly, he was one of the main voices in opposing us the Brits and the Yanks going to war in Syria. His stance against any involvement convinced us to change our holiday destination instead of going to St Kitts one of the most corrupt countries in the Caribbean so let’s go MAURITIUS.

Another huge turn off with St Kitts is the crime, two of our car booters went on a cruise to the Caribbean Islands calling in at St Kitts and they decided to go by Mini Coach to the South Peninsula, on the way there the coach was stopped by a tree lying in the road. Four thugs with guns and machetes held all the passengers to ransom demanding the men hand over their watches and wallets and the woman their purses and all jewellery. After the thugs had got what they wanted they disappeared into the bush and gone. Lou and I were leaving St Kitts in 2009 and we went for a drive around the beaches for a last look. After a five minute walk on Gong Beach we returned to the car to find Lou’s door and window had been smashed open with a machete her purse and personal belongings were stolen so we had to go to the Police to report the incident and typical for St Kitts they wrote the details down on a piece of paper, the piece of paper was put in a drawer, end of enquiries. I believe the Police think the tourists ‘are fair game’ but the whole Country is led by the most corrupt of Prime Ministers Denzel Douglas and an even more corrupt government Barrister in Law Dr Henry Browne! The cost of living is expensive but it is a beautiful country.
My advice for St Kitts future! Get rid of Douglas (prison) legalise and export Cannabis it’s the best in the World and let the Rasta Man live in peace without a two class system = Peace & Love. X

If I ever won the lottery I would definitely take you all to MAURITIUS. Stunning country, lovely people, incredible views, fantastic foods, brilliant clothing and food markets (loadsa lotsa toot) and the cost of living is cheaper than the UK and they claim a low crime rate! The traders are all so polite which is a bonus. The best fact is that TRADERS are NOT allowed to tout or bother the tourists which rules are supervised by the Police at the Markets and the beaches. Teams of Police walk the beaches from early morning shakings hands and meeting the public and offering security from those traders who may try to bother you constantly like you see around markets and beaches throughout the World. Early mornings say from seven-ish is a great time to swim, the sea is so warm and clean, you can look down and see your feet with hundreds of tiny silver fish following and by the time you get up to your waist larger fish freely swim with you. The very very clean tree laden beaches are brushed and swept by a team of welly wearing and long HV coat style jackets (imagine the heat) ladies from early morning, each of the busy beaches provides large safe areas for people to swim and during the day hundreds and hundreds of people flock there creating a fantastic happy atmosphere for some wonderful people. There is a brilliant bus service which is well used by tourists and locals who will happily chat with you. And everybody is happy and so they should be!!
We saw no aggression; all of the children are such a credit to the Schools which are superbly disciplined. I was really amazed and chuffed when several kids/students spoke with us. Politeness personified! Here we have a country at peace with itself; it was a great privilege for Lou and I to spend our holiday and being part of their huge community. I believe a lot of the people I met for the first time confused me with someone else because they kept calling me Bonjour?
The only downside is that there are a lot of homeless but harmless and starving dog’s cats and kittens on the roads and around the shopping streets and they are a serious danger to traffic. It is ridiculous to see so many skeletonised unwanted unloved animals roaming around in such a respected country so this problem must be addressed urgently.
By the way the driving in Mauritius is not as good as at home, you have to be so careful especially in towns to look out for cyclists and two stroke motor cycles by the hundreds that ride like crazy and are oblivious to other traffic. They all seem to have bloody mobiles and they are not adverse to texting whist riding their bikes. They all act as they are stoned, they are not, but it’s the heat that makes their minds fuddled. Lou did a fantastic job driving in a foreign country I think, but then I could have been wrong, she wanted us to see the country slowly so all the bicycles were allowed to overtake us to my amazement. The main roads and dual carriageways are in good condition and believe me they get busy.
I am not in any way going to knock Mauritius, what a country!! Oh and I almost forgot to mention the most stunning and beautiful looking women ever, ever! Of all ages! I scored with three over 70s Mauritian darlings who arrived at the beach in their saris sharing the beach spot with us. Lou says “Don’t look now cos these ladies are changing” Within minutes they had changed from their long saris into like pyjamas ready for their swim. One of them offering grapes and flowers to their gods of the seas then the three got down on all fours into the seas and paddled the waves. Harmless but fascinating. Typically, but beautifully Indian. And with their modesty and religious beliefs intact for 3 my ladies.
Read on Part Two;

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Mauritius Two; 12 pictures

Week Two;
Ok, so we go to view the apartment it turned out to be ideal and afforded us the privacy we needed to recharge our batteries. If you are planning on going to Mauritius at any time and want an absolute BARGAIN in accommodation self catering I can give the address and by the way Air Mauritius is cheaper than British Airways and student accommodation for you back packers is as low as five quid a night, god knows what that accommodation is like? The private swimming pool has a self cleaning motor which drives around the pool vacuuming the floor, it has a long wide hose which vibrates and agitates the surface and it was apparently quite nice to hold on to according to Lou of course. Get off it woman it’s not meant for that! Gotcha!! Revenge time is nigh!

On the second morning Lou noticed like a field mouse had fallen into the pool and kept falling off this vibrating hose so I was ordered to go rescue the rat which turned out to be a rare Mauritian long nosed shrew, next day a frog and the third day a road street accident puppy of about three months came wandering into the garden trying to lap up the swimming pool water. We adopted him for the few day remaining fed him up and the rest of his life’s struggle was ‘down to him and his luck entirely’.
We decide to go early to the beach, she looks great in one of her car boot bought bikini’s as we sit at one of the four seater stone tables and benches provided free on most beaches for you to just sit to relax happily and watch the scenery and to pass the time away shaded from the heat of the sun by trees and to be so in love (Walobs) (wot a load of…..) she is sitting directly opposite me and I have a full 2 litre bottle of iced cold water (essential in the incredible heat) which I place in the middle of the table between the two of us with the top unscrewed, I drew Lou’s attention to something out at sea and accidentally pushed the plastic bottle over as it crashed down onto the stone table emptying on her bikini ‘special place’ area and her belly and legs and boobs and she got sodding soaked as she stood up in shock and horror (shock & nerves Harry) with the water peeing out of her bikini knickers observed by about thirty interested Indians and passing Japanese tourists, (0ne applauded-they all applauded)! She went ballistic calling me a real R sole? “Yes oh yes” I shouted reminding her of my customs experience, silly moo, absolutely no sense of humour at all! To add insult to injury I asked her if she would ‘go fetch some more water’ to which she replied “Go fetch it YFS” No breeding whatsoever that woman!!

Leaving Mauritius was difficult we had had a fantastic time, we had also bonded happily, her cooking was indifferent but edible (she ate the most) but I wouldn’t and couldn’t have spent a happier time with anyone else in the whole world, well, I mean perhaps that is probably a little bit over the top and not entirely true, but I do like her quite a lot ish. XX
Our final impressions of Mauritius was the absolute professional way in which this 21st Century Airport puts the UK to shame. A fantastic experience with the flight leaving on time and a genuine appeal from the Mauritians for us to consider ‘coming back again’ we certainly will. By the way, when we got back to Gatwick there were absolutely no customs staffs checking on the duty free GREEN exits for our flight. Do away with them all together I say, that would reduce the cost of flying and let’s legalise Cannabis at the same time. Now then Geoffrey………….steady on lad…..
The downside!
No sooner had we got onto the plane for the long haul flight than you meet reality, the real world!

Bang!! it’s the moaning whingeing ‘Brits are here time’. We did not meet or speak to (result) any Brits on holiday but we certainly saw plenty, you can tell they are British because he is always wearing socks and sandals recognised as the Brits brigade of nutters. And don’t the foreigners take the piss out of socks & sandals especially if his socks are white the SMFs Typical middle classes! We had nothing but compliments about the Air Steward’s team who were fantastic, the food was good but I heard several complaints about the food and the service. “That’s why you go on holiday for to unwind and rest up and shut up and be a better person and not be some boring moaning old whinge bag complaining about sod all”

Worse than that, there were the two screaming little 2 year old brats? I mean fancy taking kids of that age on a thirteen and a half hours pigging flight and over 6000 miles and expect them to shut their gobs for the entire trip cos they bloody well won’t, the little buggers will let you know they are on the flight from the minute we take off believe me! And, and, and one of them is sitting just two rows in front of me and he is standing up and jumping about on his seat shouting “Uh Uh Ooh” and looking at all the other unsuspecting fellow passengers who are gonna some hate this effing out of parental control little MONSTER before too long because you aint gonna get NO pigging sleep for at least 13 hours!! OMG FFS? I just wanna go home!
I mean, I seriously like kids but I did ask the stewardess if there were any ejector seats available. (For me)
Then this little snotty nosed brat threw his bottle of water at me so I drank the water and poured a large gin and tonic into the bottle and threw it back at the brat with a direct hit “Uh Uh Ooh”! He drank the lot and fell asleep in no time at all and I am just daydreaming, and full of bullshit, cos the little shite kept me awake the whole of the sodding flight and, and he could not speak any other word of pigging English apart from shouting “Uh Uh Ooh” “Uh Uh Ooh” a million effing times and my fellow passengers are saying under their breaths with him “Uh Uh Ooh” because by now we are all brainwashed by the little brat and Lou is saying to me ‘calm down dear, calm down dear’ which certainly doesn’t help matters at all. I did have the last laugh just as the plane landed the little brat had gone very quiet and had fallen asleep knackered out I presumed, as I got my luggage duty free bottles from the hold directly above his body I dropped them onto him and shouted “Uh Uh Ooh, I’m sorry” and it woke him up screaming which seemed to be approved by contented fellow travellers who had been on this journey of HELL!! The brat! Result! (Also slightly exaggerated it is fair to admit = more daydreaming)

Getting home;
My, Mother and father in law took over the responsibility of looking after our house with Nana Moon whilst we were away. They love Cornwall which is a shame, if I get my way they won’t be seeing much more of it. Now then, I have told you before that as soon as my mother in law arrives in Cornwall the mice and rats throw themselves into the traps.

One day a mouse had got through the cat/dog flap when they got back from a walk, the mouse was seen to run and hide under Nana Moon’s bed and she went berserk. Father in law quickly left it all to Moon going inside the house to stand on a chair until the dog had caught the mouse but he had let the bloody thing into the kitchen. A trip to Trago’s where he bought three mice traps. Overnight he caught the one in the kitchen but two of its mates knowing my mother in law was staying gave up the will to live and waited for father in law to set the traps when they jumped into them committing hari-kari in an instance. Such is the power of the woman such is the power of my mother in law who has given me total permission to be as ‘rude as you like about me’ but I wouldn’t want to do that as it would ‘spoil a beautiful friendship’ which is the biggest loads of crap I have ever written cos she knows ‘I have a very soft spot for her’ right at the bottom of my garden!!
Gordon the gofer, Lou’s dad is well under the thumb probably even worse than that really, but it really pisses Lou off that she can’t control me the same way as he is orbited during his daily life by my mother in law. For an easy life he just listens to what he has been told to do each day and he does it without question, just like all of the Cornish husbands, Yes dear! That’s what we men are for, to pay for and carry the shopping and to do as we are bloody well told and certainly not to have an opinion of your own that is different from ‘she’ who must be obeyed! Her indoors, the wife, your lover! The better half, all the men want now is EQUALITY!

On the morning they were leaving I did breakfast at 6 in the hope of an early departure but mother in law doesn’t normally sober up till about midday so I decided to opt out of the tearful farewell and go back to bed. Lou woke me up calling “they are about to go now Geoff” “Bye” I shouted. “Don’t you be so rude to my parents” said Lou and made me get up to say good-bye properly young man! I said to my mother in law “I absolutely know it has been a great pleasure for you both to be in my company and she burst out crying as she kissed me goodbye (Gillette razor for her next Christmas) “I don’t want to go Geoff” “Get in that bleeding car woman or I will make you take Louise with you” that did it, no sweat, no fear, they were off like a shot!

We all know what it’s like when people have come to stay and it is lovely (ish) to see them all but it’s even lovelier when they just ‘sod off back home’ the second they go the furniture relaxes, the birds start singing in the trees, Nana Moon stops howling all night, and you can fart and eff and blind at each other and no-one GAF. You can watch what YOU want to watch on TV and get the decent bread out of the freezer and you check that the hidden chocolates have not been found by the intruders, once they have gone you can get your house back to in order, back to normal, or can you?

As I told you Lou did that house clearance for the 88 year old and she had opened a freezer door which was frozen absolutely solid huge lump of ice from top to bottom, the door would not close so Lou brought it home to defrost (in the garden) (that’s probably where the bleeding mice came from) before deciding if it would sell or scrap it. Whilst we were away the freezer defrosted and Lou’s Daddy saw all of the defrosted food that was in the freezer and thought “I will put this lot in black bags and shove them into Lou’s freezer”?

After they had gone we came to get out ‘the decent bread’ from the freezer and Lou is going on a bit “What’s that smell” With pegs on our noses we took out the black bags from the freezer, they stank to high heaven and some of the food in the bags was dated two thousand a pigging nine for god’s sake to say nothing of the smell of the fish fingers, horrific! What was going on in Daddies mind I do not know but to put all the stinking food into black bags was a clue in itself, black bags means the FOOD is effing dead! Even the bins rejected the bags. And if it stink’s that bad then it’s more than bleeding dead. Yuk, figging Yuk and figging Yuk again! Next year Nana Moon can look after her bloody self when we go on holiday. Sod it!

Ps; Hope you enjoyed your stay mother and father in law. Am I two faced or WHAT?
Pps; I had a lovely holiday but I had to bring her back. XX

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ATOMIC WEDGIE!!

What is a WEDGIE?
I had never heard the expression “WEDGIE” until I came to Cornwall when some bloke in Dig and Delve said to me ‘Cor look at the Wedgie on that’ referring to a young lady student! What is a Wedgie I asked and then he told me in his own crude words. I am not going to tell you what he said you all know what a Wedgie is but now we have the “ATOMIC WEDGIE” where a man killed his father in law, now read on…….

Death by Atomic Wedgie: Stepdad suffocates after underpants pulled over his head
Jan 09, 2014 15:31

According to police, Denver Lee St. Clair’s stepson claimed he carried out the playground prank after his stepfather “jumped him”
Arrested: Brad Davis
Pottawatomie County Sheriff’s Office
A former U.S. Marine has been charged with murdering his stepdad — by giving him a Wedgie.
Brad Davis, 33, is accused of suffocating Denver St Clair, 58, by pulling the victim’s pants and stretching them over his head and around his neck.
According to statements given to police, the pair began fighting at Mr St Clair’s home after he bad-mouthed his wife, Tressia, who is Davis’s mum.
Officers said Davis told them he punched his stepdad unconscious after the older man “jumped him”.
Davis added that this is when he pulled the elastic of Mr St Clair’s pants up and over his head from behind, a prank known as an “Atomic Wedgie”.
County Sheriff Mike Booth said: “I’d never seen this before, but when we looked at our victim the waistband of his underwear was around his neck.”
The State Medical Examiner’s office found motorbike fan Mr St Clair died of suffocation and blunt force trauma to the head.
Davis allegedly pulled the elastic so tightly that it left ligature marks around Mr St Clair’s neck.
According to authorities, Davis said he had been invited for drinks at the home of his mum and stepdad in McLeod, Oklahoma.
Davis said things turned ugly after a night of boozing.
He told police he acted in self-defence but the death on December 21 has been ruled as murder and Davis was charged on Tuesday.
Investigators think that before Davis called the emergency services he altered the crime scene to make it look like the pair had been brawling.
Sheriff Booth said: “We continued our investigation and uncovered evidence that led us to believe that this was more than just a fight.”
Victim: Denver Lee St Clair
Court documents show that Tressia, who was in hospital having a hip op at the time of the killing, told police that her son lived nearby in a trailer house owned by her and her husband.
She said Mr St Clair thought his stepson owed him £4,000 for staying there. Davis’s brother told police that on December 20, Mr St Clair said he was going to “pull Brad out of that trailer by his throat”.
It has also emerged that a restraining order was placed on Mr St Clair in 2008 after a complaint from his wife. She claimed he had grabbed her by the neck and hurled her through a bathroom door.
Court records show Mr St Clair filed for divorce four months ago. It was the third time the couple began divorce proceedings. The first two cases — filed by Tressia in 2004 and 2010 — were dismissed.

Geoff Says; Can you imagine the scene, apparently the father in law was being very rude and offensive about son in laws wife. His effing and blinding upset son in law and when father in law hits out at son in law he grabs father in law by his underpants on the left side and stretches them so far he hooks them over the old farts head and neck, then he grabs the right hand side of the old gits pants and hooks them over the old buggers neck on the other side!

Can you imagine the pain never mind about round the neck but what about his goolies in the lower regions which would be under severe stress. The simple answer to try to save the father in laws life is to find a pair of scissors and cut the underpants elastic releasing the old sod so quickly his face would meet his arse and kill him anyway. WTF man!

Geoff
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