Bob Thomson a heating engineer from Penzance has had his Yamaha F15hp silver motor AGK 100 4533 registration number stolen from his motor boat over the past few days. The crime reference is AP-13-1785 and if any of you have been offered this motor or you can assist Bob in locating the engine there will be a realistic reward for its return!
If you have any information please contact Bob at; Many thanks, Geoff
Becky Steadman has worked with Car Boots Cornwall over recent years and I am delighted to advise she has been appointed Manager of CBC and will assume responsibility for the day to day running of our Car Boot Sales and the new Catering Department. Her sister Rachel is running Lanhydrock and their Mum is Jackie who has sold eggs at many of our locations and will take over the Ice Cream sales shortly.
One of our dear regulars Rita cornered me at Newquay to ask “Geoff is it true that you have swapped Louise for a younger version because I have received texts and emails telling me the gossip you and Lou have split up” No, No and no again it is not true my Lou and I have been together for over 25 years she is the love of my life (she has told me to say)and NO Becky is not wife number 5 (still looking) however she has the same warped sense of humour as me and the same enthusiasm to see Car Boot Cornwall succeed and I ask all regulars to accept and respect my decision for her to be the person in charge in our absence. Many thanks, Geoff
2 pictures;
Well the rumour trail is sizzling hot at the moment with more gossip than I can cope with so let’s start with the juicy true news about us and Car Boots Cornwall (CBC) and Car Boots Cornwall Catering (CBCC) we have decided after years of having outside Caterers that it is high time Car Boots Cornwall should run its own Catering at all of our locations. In this respect since the appointment of Becky Steadman as our Manager we have had several meetings and it is her wish that to forward the growth of our business we would be better suited to deal with all Catering and food issues ourselves of which Louise and I will give her our full support.
Becky and I have purchased on behalf of CBC two Catering Trailers which are at present being liveried and prepared for serving our customers the traditional menus expected from Car Boot Sales and we will introduce a Vegetarian section which we are certain will be popular with those Veggies amongst us. We will update the news as it happens in this respect keeping you all informed of progress.
POOL MARKET! Rumours abound since I have been seen at Pool Market with the owner and her management team with loads of people jumping to their own conclusions, it is fair to admit that negotiations between both parties have progressed over recent weeks but we not in any position to make any statement that any agreements have been reached. I appreciate the enthusiasm and confidence many traders have shown in respect of my personal involvement with POOL MARKET and I hope that agreement could be reached within time however I would like it to go on record Geoff is NOT buying Pool Market unless you all help out by putting a couple of GRAND each towards the purchase my lovers. I have great respect for the Management of POOL MARKET let’s all see what happens, shall we?
The situation regarding dogs was livened up by old fat lips who bent down to stroke a dog when the dog leapt up to the man’s face and lo and behold the dog did bit old fat lips stapling top and bottom into a bloody mess confining fat lips to life with a bloody pillow and not a lot of food! What a lovely way to lose weight me lovers! And guess what his name is Percy, get it Perce or Purse for short, get it PURSE your lips or to the Irish ‘Pierce your lips my lovers’ I nearly pierced myself laughing!
Anyway, Manager Becky and I were sitting in the car at Newquay last Saturday waiting for the sellers to pack up and go home from the 5.00pm Car Boot, the Fruit & Veg man Joey had just left when we both noticed a small dog squatting to have a poo right next to where Joey had just vacated! Without further ado Becky left the car to go grab the dog and as she picked it up it completed its poo as she held it almost under her arm like a set of bagpipes! She then went to the remaining car booters “whose dog is this”? She enquired. No-one claimed the mutt and as she was returning to our car to decide what to do with the dreaded dog a car drove into the field and out stepped a regular ‘very hen pecked’ man who has at times been a pain in the arse. He had brought the dog to the car boot sale earlier and driven off forgetting all about putting the dog back into his car! “Your wife would not have forgotten to take the pooch home with her does she know that you left it her”? I asked. He totally ignored my question and was given a poo bag to clean up the mess and put it into his car ‘with the dog’ Now then, I am not a shit stirrer in any way but I cannot wait to see him and his missus again I can almost hear me saying to his beloved “Did he tell you about the day he drove off forgetting the dog and leaving it to crap under Joey’s Fruit & Veg stall”? I cannot wait!
Today at Falmouth I was at the top gate with Jackie supervising the traffic when a man weighing about ten stone with a very strong Glaswegian accent walked in with two very large long haired Alsatian dogs and I told him “Sorry you cannot bring your dogs into this Car Boot Sales there is not enough room between the Car Boot aisles to walk the dogs and besides that if you have a dog on each hand what chance have you got of spending any money on any of the stalls”? Then the insults to my intelligence started with the man demanding to ‘speak with the owner of the boot sales’ I did not introduce myself but Jackie stepped in to say ‘Look you have been told very politely the dogs are not coming in so I suggest you take the dogs back to the car and come back to the sale later’ but no he would not listen! Eventually he went but within a few minutes I received a telephone call to complain about me and the nasty woman at the gate! I told him again the dogs would not be allowed into the grounds but still he returned to add to the argument. Two little girls about 4 years old were walking towards the gate at the same time and I said to Jackie those two girls are definitely not going through the gates at their age on their own when they told me they had lost their Mummy. I tried to move away to care for the girls but still the Glaswegian twat twittered more abuse! I found the girls Mum who was reunited with her girls and I returned to the gate, within a few minutes I had persuaded the man to ‘walk away with jerky movements’ (which actually mean will you please F O) now then I am absolutely certain all he wanted to do was parade the dogs amongst the stalls showing off with his two oversized and under exercised dogs adding prestige to his ego and probably his dick at the same time! What a pee are eye sea key!! It is getting near the bewitching hour BAR them or what? You decide!
Geoff
Many of you know over the years I have gone on about people who bring dogs to our Car Boot Sales and allow them to crap without making any effort to use poo bags as they walk on and away from the problem their dog has just caused. Our team are constantly asking dog owners to clean up their dogs droppings some get offended others shrug their shoulders. Yesterday at MABE Louise and I were heading for the top gate at the selling field when we notice a fat old fart pull up outside the gates open the car door and let our 3 yappy crappy dogs who started to run around and before we reach the gate all 3 had emptied their bowels onto the grass for one of you or even worse one of your children to step into! I asked the man what he thought he was doing bringing three dogs onto private farm land to allow them to shit without making any effort to clean up after them. His reply was ‘they did most of it at home in the garden’
After a few choice words the FB called the dogs back to the car and he drove off winning the award SMF of the day!!
On Saturday at Mitchell a man who claims he bent down to pick something up but actually he bent down to stroke an unknown dog who retaliated by biting him on his mouth top lip and bottom lip! Bingo what a shot as he came to the car asking for first aid to his bleeding lips, did I have any sympathy? NOPE he looked as though someone had tried to staple his fat lips together as Jackie offered him SAVLON wipes to try to stem the bleeding! That’ll teach him not to stroke strange dogs! Next day at MABE old FAT LIPS came to thank us for helping out (not me) as he relived the incident telling us what a rough night he had had but no sympathy Geoff asked ‘have you been able to eat’? “Not a thing” the SOS said “Couldn’t sleep and my pillow was covered with blood this morning” Now wont that teach you to not to touch dogs you don’t know, said I! If that had happened to me my missus would have demanded for a goodnight kiss or accidently smacked me in the gob whilst turning over during the night! Can you imagine the pain my lovers having your bleeding lips stapled together by a frigging dog! Oh and by the way that idiot who has a programme on Radio 4 has been yapping on about me and my attitude about people who leave their dogs in the cars without leaving the windows open again, must be a riveting programme to fall asleep to but I wish some dog would STAPLE his lips, I don’t know his name but he certainly knows mine! I believe his initials are SMF number 2!
Seriously, I am contemplating BANNING dogs from Car Boot Sales, we are in negotiation with a NEW Car Boot site and the owners are insisting “NO DOGS” and I agree but with the exception of our Dog Nana Moon who is part of our security team, so there! Leave your DOGS at home bring your cat instead providing you bring some ‘cat crap bags’ my lovers!
And finally on the dogs stories a regular lady seller was walking her dog in the selling field when it strained against the lead to squat and poo, she did not have a ‘poo bag’ and seeing Lou and me looking at her she picked up the offending poo with her bare hand and threw the runny stuff into the hedge and then sniffed her hand! Yuck, Yuck Yuck! Enjoy your breakfast dear!
Big gossip coming soon ask Ann?
Geoff
Last Sunday at MABE a seller told me the stall next door to them used a large bowl to put some ice in with bottles of water to sell (not allowed)After selling a couple of bottles and with overheated feet the sellers takes the bottles out of the water and sticks her feet into the bowl, after cooling down the lady shakes off the drips and puts the bottles in the bowl BACK ON SALE! You dirty MOO!!
Back to the Gipsies I have got to assure you the behaviour of the group last week was highly condemned by our local Gipsy family who were appalled at the tactics of the unwanted group . We have known Sheila and her families over many years they are nice people and they spend a lot of money at our Car Boot Sales. Sheila is great at fortune telling and a bit honest into the bargain, she told one lady ‘Your husband is having an affair’ so I had to admit it to Louise! (not true)but she also told me that I would live till I was 85 and her mother told me I would live till I was 93 I will settle for the ninety three but come on girls get your act together. Eight years difference is a hell of a gap? Went to Wales yesterday but what about these £4.00 tolls what is so special about Wales that the poor bloody motorist has to cough up four bleeding quid’s. Wales, where the men are happy and the sheep are nervous! And have you seen those daft main road signs all done in Welsh and ENGLISH what a load of crap.
During my days as General Manager of PONTINS at Brean Sands I used to go to Job Centres in Wales to interview staff for the summer Season and I asked most of them as part of the interview to say a sentence to me in Welsh with a 96% fail rate the ones that got it right didn’t get the job! Anyway my Lou keeps in touch while I am away (checking up on me) but yesterday after a rotten journey we had just left Wales (hoorah) and Lou texts me ‘URGENT get me some LEEKS! Get your own fogging leaks Darling!!
Over the past two week our car boot sales have been the target for stealing from some of our customers and using offensive language. This family of 16 Gipsies were on a BARGAIN holiday and were staying at the Haven Holiday Centre. They have been a pain in the arse to most of our customers with their rudeness and offensive language. You will recall Becky caught them stealing at Newquay and told them not to come back! They were not seen to arrive hiding in the back of a van on Saturday and were going around asking ‘which one is Becky’ in a very threatening manner!
Unfortunately we were not able to do anything about the incidents which were only reported by offended customers as they were leaving the car boot in fear of causing more problems. This family does not in any way represent the true Gipsies…more to follow I am just off to Wales for the day with Becky…with WHO!!
Sorry no pictures the BT Broadband services are a load of crap where we live! My Lou will sort that out! Have a lovely day be good to each other and he says please then let him? WTF?
SUNDAY Car Boot Sales are; MABE at 1.30pm TR10 9HH & LANHYDROCK at 3.00 pm PL30 4AW Bring Mother!!
Two excellent Car Boot Sales today firstly at the famous MABE at 1.30 pm Sellers Q any time after 10.30am don’t forget to put the SUN BLOCK on the kids! This could be a great day with many people wanting to show off their new tans. Two ladies I know did the full spray head to toe in a miserable brown more like TANGO the drink colour which has nothing to do with MABE at 1.30pm or you can go to Lanhydrock which starts at 3.00pm a great location next door to the Bodmin Rugby Club!
WARNING: The HOLIDAY GYPSIES our most unwelcome visitors to our Car Boot Sales stole yesterday at Newquay and we received complaint about the children of the group who are trained to steal from your stalls! I believe they leave Cornwall on Tuesday may they all realize the very bad reputation they have brought to the Gipsies Communities, the Barsts!! LOOK after what is yours at all Car Boot Sales including Hayle & Rosudgeon LOOK after your mobiles and your monies and your kids and your wives and don’t forget to LEAVE your WINDOWS OPEN so the dogs can either escape or get set free by alleged nosey animal lovers or why not LEAVE them at HOME and bring the cat instead! I like cats but could only eat one! Enjoy your day ITS Car Boot ‘Bikini Day’ come on Mother let it all hang out!!
Update 8.30pm 14th July;
We believe the team of stealing children have now finished their holiday here in Cornwall and have hopefully buggered off home to Thiefland however we did have lots of complaints and I must remind all sellers to keep an eye on your stalls and stocks.
Today at Mabe we were well down on sellers and buyers due to the very hot weather however a good crowd enjoyed the thousands of BARGAINS! Becky and I travelled to Lanhydrock in time for the 3.00pm start, the location is brilliant and we were totally surprised at the great atmosphere at this Car Boot Sale and what nice people they are. Most definitely there were good bargains and I met up with a couple of dealers who tipped Lanhydrock to be bigger than our MABE boot sales held on the same day! Bring it on! Congratulation to Rachel our Lanhydrock Manager and her team, a very pleasant experience and a credit to them all!
Our Phyllis was 88 years old today and she reminded me that my (our) Wedding Anniversary was also today and of course I had forgotten (who the hell wants to remember fateful days like that I will never know) Anyway my darling wife remembered and gave me ‘the horn’ as a present, well two actually as she had bought me two air horns to start the Car Boots with, apparently they can be heard up to 2 miles away. We will see when I blast off at Mitchell on Saturday and watch the old grannies jump up in the air in shock hopefully!
Posted on News Flash yesterday 10th
Todays Car Boot Sale is at Newquay Circus Fields at 12.00 noon!
PLEASE be aware young children have been trained to steal from your stalls, if you have any problems do not get involved in any arguments because the parents can get quite aggressive defending their kids. Ideally try to follow them discretely to the exit then identify them to one of our team. WATCH OUT!!
11/07 Update;
On Sunday at Mabe we had expected more to attend but there was the good weather and the tennis as a distraction to our activities and caused us financial loss, there’s loyalty gone out the window I suppose, Marge & Rita turned up in their tennis outfits in support of Andy Murray’s win Wimbledon. What a delight it was for SCOTLAND to see one of their sons win and what a dick-head that Cameron is to say ‘He deserved a Knighthood’ if I had been the PM I would have insisted the Queen was at the match to get out her sword and KNIGHT him on the spot! That would show the world how we all appreciate a genuine winner who has balls!
We have two disabled regulars we call ‘the golden girls’ definitely the Tory rinse brigade and total Thatcherites! You should have heard the offensive language they were saying about Cameron one of them even questioning his parentage by calling him a bastard!! Ladies that is not good enough you got to call him an absolute bastard with no balls!
Right lets get on with the story of these bloody little brats that have got the cheek of the devil. When they arrived at Mabe they stole four items from 3 stalls then went to sit beside the last seller in the line, they then put their stolen items on SALE on the grass and sold three of them almost immediately!! Three quid, not bad going?
When they saw Becky and me walking up the field they took the unsold stolen item and put it back onto the stall they had stolen from! Now isn’t that ingenious! What a lovely scam (must play that one on Louise) so when we both spoke to the stallholder she said ‘I noticed it had been stolen but when I saw it put back on the table by a little boy I thought I was seeing things’ mind you I can understand why she was selling it cos it was a pretty hideous vase and if I had stolen it I would have put it back as well but here is the question to the stall-holders? There were TWO of these little boys and they came to your stall and you are two adults and did not see it happen on a 12 foot stall so what were the two of you doing? In fairness the lady was a bit gorgeous so I could have been distracted as well! Wake up Mummy, you may have to give the bloody vase away my lovely! (and the daughter is quite lovely as well-from a distance) XX
Their next SCAM was to go to the Candy Floss man and say ‘Mister we bought a green Candy Floss off you and they have fallen the dirty ground and me daddy says will you give me another one please’ and the Candy Floss man says ok and as the kids are walking away with the Candy Floss man says to himself “Hold on, I haven’t sold any GREEN ones today!! What a knob! Lets GIVE the fupping stuff away shall we? What a DIV! Gotcha!!
Chuffed with their success they decide to try their luck at the burger van and say ‘Miss, me daddy bought two burgers and he dropped them in the dirt over there can you give us two more please’ “Well you go fetch your Daddy back here first” and the little BRAT replies ‘No he cant come he is too upset’ What a line! Anyway I have warned the head of the family ‘enough is enough’
Just to add the story that Becky our Manager caught kids in the act of stealing at Newquay on Tuesday. Becky told the mother what she had seen but mother shouted non-stop whilst defending the kids who did the stealing. Becky stood her ground as she had witnessed the stealing and told the family they were not welcome in future at our Car Boot Sales.
Go Becky Go!
GOOD MORNING!! Great weather today so why not come to LANHYDROCK at 3.00 pm or MABE at 1.30 pm! Bring Mother!!
A great time to spend in the open and fresh air and sunshine at one of our Car Boot Sales today. LANHYDROCK is a great location easy to find off the A30 plenty of parking and BARGAINS.
The Car Boot starts at 3.00pm and if you are selling arrive at least ONE hour before start time. Take Mother to see Lanhydrock in the morning bite of lunch darlings and then the car boot, lovely day, and here is a bit of gossip the Lord of the Manor comes to the boot sales with his family, if it’s good enough for them its good enough for you my lovers! He keeps threatening to do a boot sale, I bet there would be some BARGAINS, anyway Rachel will ask him ‘when you gonna do a bootie my Lord’ and I will let you know! Could be jewellery galore on the other hand there could be nowt! or Why not go to MABE?
Fantastic views and the SHOWGROUND of Car Boot Sales that certainly put MABE on the map! It starts at 1.30pm I expect over 200 sellers a up to 4000 people to attend. There are TWO warnings for you?
We have a great relationship with out local gipsies and their families and have known them many years however there are several gipsy families from Wales who are in the area and they visit our Car Boot Sales. We have had complaints that the children (crew cut hair styles) are stealing from the stalls! I have spoken to the head of the family and expect there to be NO further complaints!
Next WARNING to all disabled (or allegedly disabled) people that have disability badges and FLASH them at our staff like you want to be parked in the middle of the sellers (dream on) there is a team of people who have taken it upon themselves to looking at the misuse of these BLUE BADGES by filming the pass holders activities at our Car Boot Sale. I am one of them so if you are putting ‘it on’ and you do not deserve the pass WATCH OUT! Oh and by the way some of them have got those squitty shitty little dogs that poo worms all over my fields.
Oh and by the way again WATCH OUT for the occasional cow shit pancakes at MABE and if there are any annoying little BRATS not being nice to mummy today then you can WATCH OUT cos I might push your faces in the POO!
Enjoy your day my lovers, anyone off to LANHYDROCK House bring me some of their leaflets please! GO FOR IT!! Sir Geoff…X
Good Morning all and I must say you are looking your age today so why not come to MABE or LANHYDROCK for some great exercise in the open air where the whiff of cow dung is not far away. Ideal Car Boot day pack up the car and raise some cash for the family. Sell all the kids toys you have threatened enough now do it!! Go on, go on!
I must whinge on a bit about the tourists who throw food down to the ground for the seagulls. These bloody birds can cause havoc by this stupidity in feeding these flying white rats from the skies. On Tuesday I left Newquay earlier than usual and received reports there were up to 200 Seagulls flying over the circus fields which caused an early exodus of sellers and buyers. Some tourist and the son threw chips on the ground and the seagulls did the rest plus pebble dashing anyone within range. The tourist and son thought it all hilarious watching our customers being dive bombed with white shite, not funny you couple of dick-heads!!
Remember I told you about someone who bought jewellery for fifty pounds well he brought the remaining items for me to photograph telling me he had sold 4 of the rings. How much would you value what is in the picture? Not a lot is my opinion! Anyway he is the same dealer who bought a similar lot a while ago which was a bargain and his beloved girlfriend chose the best ring for herself. They are both dealers over many years and to her excitement she packed up the van and set up her stall and gossiped and gossiped and someone came to their stall whilst all the gossiping was going on and lo and behold that someone STOLE a MOBILE belonging to third person who was also working on the stall? Tut-tut you are supposed to be an expert Linda my lover, anyway I sold the mobile for a fiver! (not true)
If you lose your phone get a friend to ring your number asap then notify us, there are a lot of really honest people who do hand in the phones, on average we get up to 20 a year lost mobiles some worth over £600.00 WAKE up you mobilers.
In my original story I said it was a camera but it was a mobile that was stolen.
So at least TWO people were supervising on the stall which was 2 tables total width 12 feet, what a couple of nutters!
There are rumours that Geoff (that’s me) is well off colour and has gone very quiet recently could he be ill or overworked! Neither, lots of things going on at the moment all will be revealed soon but according to Louise I am at my worst when QUIET because it means I am scheming!! Correct! But I assure you that I am fine my doctor thinks I am a miracle to modern science. Don’t some people tell lies when they say ‘My doctor is really worried about me’! Oh, and I bet he cannot sleep at night either WALOBS my lovers. Once they have got you out of their office they say ‘NEXT’ then they forget you till the next time you see them. I am not allowed to advertise Doctors but the ones in Carnon Downs take some beating.
Take care have a good weekend and make the most of the good weather, if you are coming to my car boot sales keep and eye on your own property and don’t take anyone else’s please! If you see anyone stealing do not take the law into your own hands advise any member of our teams please.