I am late with telling you about the Anderton Rowlands Fair which caused some confusion to lots of our customers who thought the Car Boots were off, not so it was set out differently that’s all. Anderton Rowlands firm has been established over 150 years and are the best fair I have seen since I was a school kid when I used to help out at the local fairs and circuses for a few bob. The rides look superb the music’s good and their last day is tomorrow! I will make a promise to be there for their last night, I may even treat you to a ride! Seven o’clock my lovers and its only a quid a ride, bring the kids and don’t forget Mother! Lets get Rosie on the bungee with Phyllis and Marge and lady Lynn in their mini skirts, not a pretty sight?
Now then, next time this fair comes to Newquay I am going to run 2 evening Car Boots to run alongside the fair it would make for a great night out with bargains and fun for all ages with a fantastic atmosphere and will contribute to the celebrations of our 25 years as CARBOOTSCORNWALL with an anticipated 500,000 visits to all of our locations!
Come on let the missus drive there is a pub next door so get out of the house for a bit of fresh air and it aint gonna cost a fortune and you can get fish & chips on the way home and you will be bonding as families, now would that be a first for a long time? There is sod all on telly GO 4 IT my lovers!
Sorry I am late with the various updates on this section we have spent all day organising with a security team to cover all of our Car Boot events in the light of various complaints concerning stealing from sellers and other incidents. All Car Boots will be filmed from start to finish in the hope that this security measure will deter incidents against sellers buyers and our staff who are all part of our Management teams.
DO NOT LEAVE ANY RUBBISH at your stall before you leave any of our locations! This is considered as FLY TIPPING and is an illegal act and our Landlords will not allow rubbish of any description on their lands! We would use filmed evidence against offenders.
Do NOT leave DOG POO BAGS in the hedges and certainly do not leave babies ‘shiddy’ nappies on the grass for my team to clean up after you! TAKE THE POO HOME you brought it with you? No shit man!
I am getting sick and tired of the whinge brigade who tell me this dealer pushed me or that one was going to smack me in the mouth, and will you BAR this one and we don’t like Brian, Dave or Peter so you should watch them! WTF I am not a bloody headmaster with a big cane lets all get on with life no pushing and shoving please but if anyone pushes my Marge or Lady (fragile) Lynn or worse still my mate Rosie there could be hell on! Its tittle-tattle season but I must be totally fair to all and sundry, so if you are a ‘pusher or a shover’ save it for the bedroom darlings! And just for the record I am not always BANNING people I have banned two in 12 months and most of my critics thoroughly approved with that decision!! HANDBAGS, HANDBAGS, don’t be a WUSS!
Updated 29th April; Someone said I have missed out Orli what happens if someone pushes her, I wouldn’t chance it they could end up with a smack in the gob or a kick in the googlies!
Mitchell was well down on sellers but the buyers turned out in force to get hundreds of BARGAINS but what about the one lucky buyer who bought this jewellery wrap complete with contents. The sellers said ‘its only costume jewellery there’s NO GOLD in it’ Wrong and wrong again at least 11 times; My estimate of the sell on value has got to be in the region of £800.00 upwards!
Now then, the buyer and his wife Linda went to Carn Brea auction during the week and a hit and run driver smashed into the wife’s van damaging it so badly it could be written off, no-one witness the accident and my lady Linda sat on the ground and cried and cried and cried! Bright husband asks to see the security camera footage and the crash is witnessed so hubby phones up and says ‘what about the damage to our vehicle’? Admitting to being the hit and run driver the man says I am sorry, I will pay for the repairs through my insurance company. So you see you can be having a sod of a bleeding week then all of a sudden your luck can change, I am not being rude but I have just nicknamed the buyer Mr GOLDEN BOLLACKS!! Jammy bugger but where were all the other dealers? Got any jewellery luv?
UPDATE: I was wrong they are not husband & wife but they are ‘an item’ he was so chuffed with his purchase he SOLD Linda one of the rings for forty quid so he is in a tenner profit already. If I did that to my Lou she would kick me in the gorbals (nuts) and we would be ‘an item’ no more! You TFB!! XX
My picture of ‘The Dick-tater’ got the imaginations going from some of our customers gossiping today as they searched for rude fruits and vegetables on Joey’s stall.
He was a bit embarrassed by it all swearing he was not the model for the well hung Dicktater! If you want a real bargain go for his home grown Cauliflowers (only 65p and pulled up today) they are most definitely Cornish grown within 20 miles of Newquay and they are delicious, well they are when they get to this house? My lovely missus did some homemade Cauli soup and sat over me till the last spoonful, whether I make it to Falmouth in the morning is debateable, so was the soup but what baffles me is how you get egg shell in a Cauli soup my lovers!
Latest on our Rosie today she looked very pale and has been in some pain with her shoulder operation and I felt genuinely sorry for her but then she has tormented me quite a bit so make hay while the sun shines Rosie take you pain and grin and bear it! Mind her old man has aged she has become like Louise wanting to be fed all day. The first three words my missus says to me in the morning are ‘Where’s my Breakfast’ in the evening its ‘Where’s my Supper’ my words ‘Where’s my Oats’ she replies ‘Get to Sleep’!!
Very, very disappointing to hear that Russell has been taken into a home whilst his daughter has immigrated to New Zealand, if this story is true then the full story should be told. Our lovely Marge is going to see Russell tomorrow at the home so she will report back. Very sad days for Russell!
What are your favourite 3 words? Here are 5 abbreviations, expect them to be rude cos they are, can you get the right answers, if so write them on a card and give the card to me, if correct I will give you a free stall and you will be entered into a competition for a WEEKEND with my Mother in Law, 2nd PRIZE is two WEEKENDS! She lives near the river, do drop in some time.
G F Y
F R O
Y O B
F F S
Y S B?
Finally, Lou and I have a lovely Cornish friend who we know from our very happy Dig & Delve days. She was devoted to her partner they seemed the absolute ideal couple but he was disloyal to their love pacts and the bastard left for another woman. (I’ve done it 3 times)(so far) We were very upset for the sad affect the breakup had on her and all these years later she has herself found herself again and is looking to the future in the hope that she could meet a man who would appreciate the really nice person she is and become a partner in her life. She has all her own teeth a very pleasant and happy smiling personality but could possibly be a ‘bit dizzy’ now and again (just like my missus) She is very popular with her car boot friends she has known over many years as a customer she is not a regular seller but enjoys the lively atmosphere at our sales. She has a very happy face with a lovely complexion black hair possibly died (definitely) but she is extremely well presented for her over 50 plus years and keeps very-very fit and I would be proud to have her on my arm but Lou would smack me in the gob! Our friend has recently retired from one of the government services and has an impeccable personality and reputation.
She is a real gem of a win if she meets the right man who will age from 35 years with no complications with third parties (another woman) She is looking for someone who has his own independence, he may be a widower or a divorcee someone with a good sense of humour and someone who can show and share with her mutual respect and in time LOVE! Maybe you are that someone who would enjoy the chance to rebuild your life in happiness with our friend but the ground rules are ‘no heavy drinkers-no smokers’ Our friend will be known as Dee for the benefit of this story. Oh, and I nearly forgot Dee is a very independent and highly intelligent herself, Lou and I would just love to see her find someone to LOVE and I wouldn’t mind betting there would be some good old fashioned ‘rumpy pumpy’ in it for the lucky candidate?
If you consider this item as Lou and me doing a good friend a favour and would like to write to Dee then do so and we will pass the letters on in absolute privacy and you will get a reply from Dee. All you ladies reading this think ‘is there anyone in our family or friends that could really do with a nice clean living partner who could love forever’! She’s lovely, honest!
A miserable sodding day with drizzle all the way from Truro only to arrive at the Circus Fields to find we have a FAIR taking up the front car park? As it happened we managed really well but this FAIR is with a difference, nice operators and the rides and sideshows seem to be much more modern than previous FAIRS! It start on Thursday and on the FRIDAY I shall be taking Rosie on all the rides to check if the hospital has done her operation proper! After she was released to go home and rest Marge and hot legs Lady Lynn were nice enough to phone to ask ‘how are you’ (Marge tried to reverse the charges or press button B to get her money back)
Anyway Rosie slept until four in the morning and woke Gordon with a prod “Drink, I need drink” demanded Rosie. I was shocked when she turned up with her arm all bandaged up inside her jacket, I thought she was with child again!
Not the most exciting of days but 50 odd sellers sold well and the buyers got the bargains!! Please DO NOT SMOKE WHEN YOU ARE SELLING OR BUYING!
One dog owner tells me ‘you aint stopping me bringing my dogs in mate’ Well now what a lovely challenge for me, I cannot wait!!
My next lengthy blog entitled ‘Are we Brits UP OURSELVES’ some readers may be offended “I do hope so” We will find out on Sunday!!
Loves,
Geoff
XX
Night-night Rosie, we missed you all six hours and Lady Lynn had hoped you would be in for weeks! meow!!
We have never been so busy at any of our locations as we were at MITCHELL today with nearly 300 sellers and up to 4000 people including all the buyers and their children in the lovely warm sunshine buying and selling BARGAINS galore and believe me there were some stunning bargains that by now are probably listed on eBay. We had to turn up to 40 sellers away and we eventually ran out of buyer’s car parking which was due to irresponsible car parking on behalf of some of your fellow citizen drivers, I have taken the registration numbers of the offenders so if you get a call from DVLA SWANSEA telling you that you have GOT TO take a re-test then it was ME wot did it and I don’t give a toss! Sod it! I mean to say it does not take a brain surgeon to work out you cannot park 3 in a row yet we had 3 in a row by three times all of course MALE drivers! Give the woman the keys man! Women are so perfect mmmmmm!! (I am such a creep, but I do love em all, honestly) X
Lovely atmosphere, nice people, well the majority were, I know the readers of this column certainly are but if you see or hear anyone being rude or offensive to ANY of my teams then please let me know immediately! Arlin and Rachel were targeted by some DH telling them as loudly and as rudely ‘how to do their jobs’ despite Arlin trying to calm the man he continued to rant! For the record Arlin is a school teacher and Rachel is the Manageress of a highly successful group of tanning and health shops in Newquay and would not resort to the same offensive rhetoric as the complainant but a smart kick in the nuts could have shut the stupid arse up for a while! GFY! I would not have the balls to do it though, get Arlin on one side me on the other one, two, and three, and kick Rachel. Better than a good bollicking I would have thought!!
At 1.30 the sale was well on its way so my Lou left to run the 3 oclock Wadebridge sale hoping for the first successful Car Boot this year. With over 40 in the queue to sell when she arrived she assumed over 50 sellers in total. However about an hour before start time an impatient motor cyclist tried to overtake a car turning right into The Royal Cornwall Showground causing a serious accident writing off his own bike and two cars! Police closed the main roads in both directions for the emergency services with Air Ambulance arriving to take away the seriously injured to Treliske Hospital. With the roads closed and desperate to keep the few buyers and sellers Lou started the sale despite the pandemonium all around. The Police started parking cars inside the grounds so it was a free admission to the Car Boot for all the inconvenience drivers and their passengers the sellers did really well.
Now then, amongst the entire tailback of traffic up to three miles in both directions were several dealers who could not get to the start of the sale, Hah bloody Hah! But you see out of the misery of an accident comes fortune for one man who was the only dealer interested in antiques and furniture and collectables. On his own he had the opportunity other dealer’s would daydream about, step forward Mr Le Roye who made WOOPEE! He is a decent man well liked by the other dealers (up till now) and his day came big time! What goes around comes around my lovers!
Talking about Treliske our Rosie is going into Hayle Hospital to get her shoulder fixed, she has been told to arrive alone and prepare to stay overnight, she is petrified to be without her doting husband Gordon the Go-fer but don’t you worry about him my maid Rosie, a few of us are going to take him out for a couple then a couple more drinks then we are all off to Marge’s Red room of pain! I cannot wait! How did she do her shoulder in? Doing a bedroom POLE DANCE with a second hand pole she bought from Marge whilst he took the pictures with his Polaroid. The pole broke in the middle whilst Rosie was ascending in her leotard, imagine, too much weight? Have you been injured?? Lady Lynn says it will be nice to get Rosie out of the way for a few days so someone else can get the limelight, what a bitchy comment, but true!
Wipe out! A young mum brought her 3 year old daughter to help sell today and mum was so pleased with her day selling all the bits and bobs she no longer wanted and took an amazing £130.00 she was so delighted with her take so offered the remainder of her stock for a fiver and went home with an empty car! (Plus the kid of course who is an absolute MADAM!)
Back to the beginning, why did we do so well? Rumour has it that loads of disenchanted sellers and buyers that were at Hayle last Sunday with the complaints lasting all week they decided to support Cornwall’s number one location MITCHELL operated by the best Car Boot Sale organisers in the South West of England CARBOOTSCORNWALL my lovers and if you think I am getting big headed about it, too damn right I am! Thank you all for your support and to the 99% of you who contributed to a great atmosphere. Get well soon Rosie, what I really admire about her is that over years she has suffered her pains and has got ‘out there’ instead of feeling sorry for herself, so if you are disabled why not come out to any of our Car Boots to get some fresh air and exercise and perhaps some great bargains! Go 4 it!
And finally, I am considering banning dogs from the Car Boot selling lanes or certainly the large dogs because the owners are the reason for continued complaints! It is not a good idea to bring your large dogs just to walk around the sale then to go back to your car and that is the exercise for you and the dog for the week. You lazy sods, no wonder your dog is nearly as bloated as you are! If the cap fits-wear it? You have one life and you will certainly live longer with more country walks, bring Mother you can get her to carry the shopping!! Here is a better idea give the missus thirty quid and say “I will walked the dog (and ring the girlfriend) you enjoy the boot sale darling” Quick kiss, that’s it my ladies, you’ve got rid of him for an hour at least cos he won’t find you easily amongst our crowds!
hi geoff,hope im not to late but would like to advertise a jumble sale at bugle sunday school.starts 2,30 on friday 26th april,all welcome ,if im to late dont worry will catch u again.many thanks
During the school holidays a young lady of 8 years old came to the boot sale at Newquay and handed me a pencil picture she had drawn of the Car Boot Sale and I promised to put the picture on these pages. But……I have lost the picture or has someone stolen it? Her Mum told me on Tuesday the daughter has been looking for the picture on the website! OMG!
Next, Mother tells me her little girls name and guess what I have forgotten it already and this little Madam will be furious.
I am so sorry I have been unable to sleep or eat worrying myself sick!
Please get in touch!!
Did you notice my printers error in the previous article about Thatch when I confused the names of Marge and Midge, I have altered the names (sorry Marge-love you) X
I am getting so forgetful lately, I keep calling my missus Sally and that was my second wife’s name!
There is amazing feedback about the conduct of one lady buyer referred to in my last blog;
Decision time today at 5.00pm
On Monday the 15th I included my thought about a woman buyer who really turns the screws on sellers (particularly the aged or stallholders on their own) demanding that items for sale are reduced far below the asking prices, I asked for opinions about her tactics. At the Car Boot Sale at Newquay on Tuesday during the sale I was approached by several of our regulars whom I have known and respected for many years. I was totally unaware that this lady and her husband had caused so much discontent and controlled fury during our Car Boots at all locations over a very long period of time. My own experience with the couple is that I warned the husband if he tried to bend our rules again I would bar them both after I caught him going through the cattle pens to ‘buy early’ creating a disadvantage to the genuine dealers and buyers who were standing waiting and queuing for the sale to officially start. Over recent times I have had people say ‘you should do something about those two’ but I have ignored the complaints assuming they could be just ‘sour grapes’ It has got to be said that the complainants are not our top dealers who do show respect to all concerned at our sales but Mr & Mrs Joe public who sell on rare occasions and support us in all weathers and at all locations, they are our lifeline!
Today at Newquay I was approached by 6 other persons who identified the offenders as undesirable to the aims of FAIR PLAY to all sellers and buyers. Below are some extracts from conversations texts and emails I have received which leave me with no alternative than to bar this couple (with immediate effect) from all of the Car Boot Sales operated by CARBOOTSCORNWALL! I am disappointed to have to take this action but the behaviour reported does not justify allowing these complaints to continue, I apologise to any of our customers who have been distressed or inconvenienced by this couple’s tactics! There have never been so many complaints of any nature since we started boot sales in 24 years.
I have left out all identification of those who have emailed texted or complained to me in person however below is a realistic response from our customers who have demanded action;
Name: Jayne
Email: jayne*******@yahoo.com
Subject: Re; Dealer Behaving Badly
Message: I can only presume who the female dealer you refer to is a tall (also known as Stick insect) blonde woman who works as a teacher??? If so please name, shame and bar….her bad behaviour is legendry, the number of times I have politely stood by whilst she holds on to a lovely bargain, deliberating about the price when I would gladly pay the asking price, her favourite tactic is to find a fault in the object to get a further discount. The number of times she has swooped on a virgin boot seller and grabbing armfuls of clothes knocking down the seller on the prices as they are for her daughter……her daughters wardrobe must be huge!!! Rant over but your boot sales would be a happier place without her…..perhaps a petition Jane?
Email; “Geoff, as for name and shame or ban, you are already aware of the extent of people’s feelings and I have heard many examples of what can only be described as bullying tactics towards sellers to reduce prices and yes you are right, it is not pleasant at all for the poor seller on the receiving end…”
Email; “Well I’m not at all surprised by the complaints about B. Julie & Simon Beach they are both driven with greed, and yes he cares not who he knocks out of the way…! Our friend ***** has asked me to stay with her whenever she is looking at jewellery as he had previously reached over her shoulder and snatched an item out of her hand! ***stard!
We all want to get the star bargains but I have never seen such mean greedy individuals…”
Text message; “I went home absolutely furious by being pushed out of the way by a man who grabbed what I was considering to buy, the man was a complete stranger to me”
Complaint in person; “I think you should do all 3 Geoff name and shame and bar them both they are a disgrace to car boot sales always pushing in and acting like they are desperate for a bargain, they both have bloody good jobs and joint incomes so why should they treat sellers with such disrespect”?
Complaint in person; Mary from Camborne told me “I have to be careful because I am disabled but he barged in pushing me out of his way in his desperation to get to a table, this is always happening but none of us say anything but it does spoil it for a lot of people and it takes the fun away if you have people pushing you around and did you know they both act in the same way at Jumble Sales and other car boots”?
Complaint in person: Mr & Mrs White from Truro complained about “their unfriendly and pushy attitude always trying to knock sellers down on their prices, we know that’s what dealers expect but when you get old couples trying to downsize by selling their things and this greedy couple almost pleading poverty with them to drop their asking price to nothing then they should be stopped”
Extract of an email;
At the end of the day we are all trying to survive in this tough economic environment, I come to your boot sales either to sell, buy stuff for my home, my horses or dogs and yes buy stuff to hopefully sell on at a profit but however hard up I was I would never behave like this couple…..He has no scruples running and grabbing, many of the sellers at your sales are very hard up and selling stuff to buy food and to see the cruel way they are bullied is appalling….they are a so called Professional Couple who are just plain greedy.
Geoff Camden Wiles
www.carbootscornwall.co.uk To write to me direct;
