What a rotten weekend with the heaviest of rains drenching all of our locations during the week you can see by the pictures of the rain sodden and puddles galore ground on the car park at FALMOUTH Rugby Club what the sellers and buyers had to contend with. However 37 sellers and a lot of support from locals and the Falmouth students bought loads of bargains and a great atmosphere but one complaint from a seller about the tactics of one buyer spoilt the atmosphere. I watched as the lady dealer held on to a really nice picture and a decorative bowl so no other buyer could look whilst she had got the seller to agree to selling them both from over thirty pounds to twenty five pounds (a bargain) but the determined lady ‘mithered’ demanding a further reduction to twenty pounds and to get rid of the buyer the seller eventually agreed. Later the seller and his charming wife felt they had been ‘ripped off’ and once again the complaint was about the same person we have had constant complaints about. It is not my job to referee the tactics of buyers and sellers but I absolute know the picture and bowl will be sold on eBay for a good profit which rather takes the piss out of the seller’s original generosity. I need feedback from other dealers on this matter so I will report further however these tactics spoil the reputation of our Car Boot Sales and take away the friendliness and reputation of our regular dealers, is it time to ‘name and shame or ‘bar’?
Saturday was completely lost to the weather and although the Farm Machinery Sale went ahead at TRURO the hero auctioneers and their teams went home absolutely drenched after dealing with over 3000 lots whilst we lost MITCHELL and WADEBRIDGE because of the dreadful ground conditions. I inspected the fields at MABE on Saturday deciding to transfer the Car Boot Sale to TRURO. If we had used MABE we could have ruined the fields for weeks ahead a risk I was not prepared to take so TRURO it was!
Lots of gossip here with Rosie going to have her operation on her shoulder caused by her activities as a POLE dancer in the bedroom whilst hubby Gordon took the pictures. Rosie is off to Hayle Hospital for an operation but doctors are concerned to put her under the anaesthetic because the last time she was anesthetised the language was unbelievable? But the gossip of the day told to me by Auntie Julia is about our Orli who has been missing for a few weeks anyway she turned up at Truro looking magnificent and tanned and slimmed down to a size below 16! I am reliably informed she could be ‘with child’ that is risking things a bit at her age of 44 says she? Others are saying she could be going to the ‘trouble down below ward’ or even worse the ‘take it all away ward’ so her and I may be in at the same time because I am going in to have an estimate for a Strapadicktome! I doubt if I will get anything done, I just like the nurse who does the estimates!
You cannot be sure of SHELL so Go to SAINSBURY’S!!
Did you notice that the SHELL garages in Truro and Playing Place were closed over the weekend which must have caused a huge inconvenience to hundreds of motorists so let’s try bloody ASDA to join huge queues because they have massive building works at their petrol/diesel station at Penryn! No sod it let’s go to SAINSBURY’S at Truro or Helston where you can get served straight away and you can use your NECTAR cards, the prices are competitive and the staff are always so much happier especially Mrs Chintuck at Helston?
I was reprimanded by TORY rinse Midge for my DING DONG bit about her dead friend Thatch the Snatch however the feelings over boiled today at Truro with most observers condemning the apparent cost of £12 million quids to bury the old Dame. I bet brown nose Cameron waits for the cameras to be on his ‘fizzog’ (face) to shed just a little tear of his absolute insincerity! Apparently Lady DING DONG’S last sentence was “One has become dead” or in Geordie speak “One has kicked the friggin bucket” Hah!
Finally, you always get one who really makes your day, Mr Iva Small-piece and a gobby regular announced about me ‘here come the richest man in Truro, he’s loaded from the money he makes at the Car Boots’ WALOBs! Today our takings were about five hundred quids less 4 staff, less travel, less signs & Public Liability and I suppose he thinks the Landlord gives us the use of his land for nothing? Brainy you are not, dick-head you are! Things are so bad I am thinking of signing on again; however we do more for CORNWALL with our Community Car Boots and events in all weathers than Cornwall Council or any other organisation in the South West, just build us a large indoor alternative venue to the alleged Hall for Cornwall?
Lovely to see you all today, thank you for your support my lovers!
So, who was the Falmouth dealer?
Geoff
XX

Ding Dong the witch is dead? I think it is unfair to witches to call Mrs Thatcher a witch because when I first met Lou she was thumbing a lift so I stopped to pick her up. During our chat I asked her what she did for a living. She said “I am a Witch” I said ‘I don’t believe you’ she then put her hands on both of my knees and I turned into a lay-by and I have been a WITCH lover ever since!
I spent from 1968 to the mid eighties in the North East of England amongst the ‘GEORDIES’ who did not deserve the massive disruption and unhappiness to their lives with total wipe-out of the mining and steel industries causing record unemployment and the breakups of communities and families. I cannot find any sense of humour about those dreadful dark days, weeks, months, years and decades but I could clearly understand the loathing that the Northerners had for Thatcher and I share their party spirit now that she is no more! REJOICE! Amen.

Geoff (working class and proud of it)

X

To:
Date: Thu, 11 Apr 2013 04:13:26 -0700
The following message has been sent via the website:
Name: Julia Routledge
Email:
Subject: Indoor Car boot
Telephone: 01208 880142
Message: Hi, We have a indoor car boot sale the second Saturday of every month which is held at Port Isaac Village Hall and were just wondering whether you be able to add it to your list of other car boots. Look forward to hearing from you. Many Thanks Julia Routledge Booking Secretary
From:
To:
Subject: RE: Indoor Car boot
Date: Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:22:38 +0000
Hello Julia,
Can you send me a flyer and I will include it into our website please.
How many stall do you have?
What time do sellers arrive?
What time does it start?
How much for a stall?
Do you charge admission for the public?
Regards,
Geoff
www.carbootscornwall.co.uk
From: mark routledge ()
Sent: 11 April 2013 12:51:07
To: Geoff Camden wiles ()

Hi Geoff,
Thanks for getting back to me so quickly, we don’t have a flyer I’m afraid but the details of the car boot are as follows :- The venue is Port Isaac Village Hall, Trewetha Lane, Port Isaac, PL29 3RN, it is on the 2nd Saturday of every month from 10 am till 12 noon, sellers arrive 9 am, tables are £5, we do ask that stall holders book their tables in advance and the contact name and number for this is Andy Penny on 01208 880985, there is no admission fee and finally we have a cafe selling bacon butties, tea, coffee, cakes etc.
There is plenty of advertising around the village, so it should be easy enough to find. That is all I think if there is anything else you can advise on as we have only just started this year, we would greatly appreciate any tips.

Many Thanks

Julia

We need to know of all JUMBLE SALES that are on over the next few days & weeks so we can pass the information on to our sellers and buyers. With an eye to the weather it’s apparent not all of our planned outdoor Car Boot Sales will go ahead so if we can create a list of up-coming indoor Flea Markets/Jumble Sales it will be well received.
Drop me a line to with all the details and I will include the sales into this column. Times & Dates with admission costs and how much sellers will have to pay for their stall please?

Thank you,

Geoff

This young couple wanted to sell some of their unwanted items to raise cash and a generous neighbour said ‘you can have this organ FREE of CHARGE just take it away, honestly we don’t want anything and it is in full working order What an offer, it didn’t sell at Truro but oh yes it did at MITCHELL for £125.00 when the couple kindly delivered it to the buyer. What a BARGAIN for nowt, there are some nice people around and such generosity to young couples is creditable!

Have you been injured?
Many of you will remember in 2011 we used to run Car Boot Sales at Tretherras School in Newquay on Sunday mornings and whilst the sales were not as busy as we all hoped for it did raise some monies for the school. The sales were run by Jackie assisted by her two daughters Rachel and Becky and on the 13th of November they had carried out a security check to ensure ‘all was safe’ including the toilets before allowing the sellers in to set up their stalls. The day was a bit windy so the sale was held inside the main sports hall adjacent to the Car Park. The sellers started arriving and shown to their selling space amongst them was a Mrs T who had brought some of her selling items leaving her helper to set up the stall whilst Mrs T went to the loo. Whilst in the loo it seems a ceiling tile was dislodged and was blown down to the floor outside the loo door and as Mrs T exited she trod on the ceiling tile causing her to skid on the tile and fall onto the floor. She came out of the toilet and Jackie asked if she was all right and she replied by telling Jackie she had slipped over in the toilet but that she was all right. Jackie then sent Rachel for the caretaker who said ‘the tiles are always falling down in that area’ blaming the wind.
Despite Mrs T assuring us she was ok Becky (Rachel’s sister) offered to take Mrs T to hospital for a check up which she initially refused, however was persuaded by Becky who took Mrs T in her own car to hospital for the check up to see if there was any damage caused. We made out a report for the school and the following day Mrs T phoned me to say she had injured her shoulder and was contemplating a claim for the alleged injury. I immediately put her in touch with the school’s Deputy Headmaster and we heard nothing further until we received a letter from Mrs T’s solicitor advising that they were going to hold Car Boots Cornwall and their Insurers responsible for the accident and the claim for the injury caused. I decided to discontinue the Sales at the school despite a wonderful liaison with their management team. My attitude was that our Insurers should not in any way meet this claim as I felt the school had duty of care to ensure that accidents like this should not happen, however due to government cut-backs of funding for the school maintenance at the school had somewhat lapsed.

I did not discuss the matter further nor did my team but rumours were rife amongst several of the booters that CARBOOTSCORNWALL Insurers had to pay out many thousands of pounds to Mrs T for her alleged injury, some even said that I had had to pay the compensation which had left me skint! Absolutely NOT TRUE and WALOBs you trouble making gossip mongers! I received a letter from our Insurers Liability Adjuster who advised me this week “We maintained a denial of liability on this case and in the absence of any further developments the case is now CLOSED” So for those malicious gossipers would you be kind enough to go tell all those people you lied to the real truth please? However, I am considering action against our Rosie for her rugby tackle HUGG on me over the weekend which floored me and has started my back off again. Have you worked out WALOBs? What a load of Bollox my lovers!
Take a closer looks at the picture, anyone you know?
X

Friday at Falmouth came back to life at the Rugby grounds with 40 sellers and lots of buyers but the very poor car park surface and high winds did not do much for the stocks of the sellers, time and again we get complaints to improve and repair all the holes but club funds could not afford the costs for the whole area which would probably be up to forty thousand pounds. It’s still a good boot sale well supported by locals and the student population and it’s great to meet up with so many regulars we have know since 1989 when we had our first ever Car Boot Sale.

Saturday at Mitchell for its second car boot this year was hugely successful with a great atmosphere and close on 3000 people enjoying the sunny but cold afternoon in the open air and getting some exercise. Now then a quick summary of our buying customers reveals that clothing for all ages is top of the buyer’s lists, we see bagfuls of clothing being bought from stalls some for members of the family some to be sold on eBay but sellers have been generous with BARGAINS GALORE! Think about your prices don’t be too cheap, I was at a stall in Truro one day when a lady who wanted to buy a pair of good quality ladies green suede boots asked a 10 year old ‘how much are these boots’ and the 3 year old sister butted in “A penny” the brother said ‘no its not Melanie’ and the two of them had a right set-to until mother arrived from serving another customer. She resolved the problem by selling the boots to the lady for only two quid or my estimated eBay price forty quid! If you think you have had an absolute BARGAIN tell me about them and I will tell our readers! What’s the best bargain you have ever bought?

BLOODY Seagulls are paying interest in our Car Boots and I would ask everyone especially tourists DO NOT FEED THE SEAGULLS. I was chatting to one of our Truro regulars I had not seen for a while and I noticed a scar on her face ‘how did you do that’ I asked? The lady explained she lived in St Ives and was passing an ice-cream to a child when a seagull appeared from nowhere made a grab for the ice cream and its beak crashed into my lady friends face. The bloody bird had crushed all of the flesh surrounding the right side of her face and I could have cried for her as she told me the amount pain and torment over many months and that a lot of permanent damage has been done to her flesh and cheek muscles. What a crap year she has had, bloody seagulls! At the end of our conversation I asked “So, how many marks out of ten would you give for your life so far” Her reply was a disappointing 4 out of ten.

So, how many marks out of ten would you give your life so far? Sit and think about it seriously, sod the debts if you can’t pay them so don’t pay them! Let’s say if your score is less than four out of ten then that’s pretty bad, my lovers. If you are over 6 out of 10 then you are heading in the right direction, any of you 8 or above then that’s brilliant but if you are a 10 out of ten and if you know someone and love them who is below 4 then please help them out, but don’t lend them any money just give it to them. What!! Bottom line; if you see anyone worse off than you are help them out, you couldn’t give me a few quid please we have had a shocking winter? Honest!

SUNDAY! WOW!! The gossip and complaints about HAYLE and how they tried to run their Sunday Morning Car Boot Sales like we do at CARBOOTSCORNWALL and the total confusion and the traffic hold-ups and the ‘Geoff wouldn’t of done it like this’ and the moans and groans as the dealers (that’s you and me) were held up whilst the buyers ‘yes’ the buyers were going around the other sellers stall and buying up the effing bargains!! What a cock-up the witnesses told me! What a shame I told them because during the winter Car Boots Cornwall with our teams offered £15,000.00 that’s fifteen thousand pounds to the club to allow us to run their Car Boot Sales with the rest of our group and guarantee them a better income than they are achieving at present and we would have been happy to start a mid-week Market. They didn’t even reply.
It is fair to say the Hayle Rugby Club is run by a committee we do not respond to committee’s as we deal with all of our Landlady and Landlords on a one to one basis that’s me and them. My interest is not in the money but to see all Car Boot Sales in the South West operating in the same way as our group for FAIR PLAY to all concerned for buyers and sellers alike! And it works!

MABE on Sunday was a miserable day with under 100 sellers but again the MABE crowds turned out with their usual support and enthusiasm, it was lovely to see so many of the old farts and fartesses had wintered so well and families had responded to my calls to ‘bring mother’ some of the lads from our teams are stunned at seeing so many gorgeous women and young mums at our car boots. I collected the 40ps at Falmouth on Friday for the rugby club funds and was pleasantly surprised by some of the very pretty students and mummies who come to the rugby grounds! But no-one prettier than our Becky who returns next week to ‘boss about’ the main gate again, now in her fifth year!
Wait for the summer season lads when these mums set up their stalls you can see more ‘lady builders bums’ than anywhere else in the country, what do you think I do the job for??

Back to MABE nice crowd of just under 2000 people and there were some great bargains with lots of new faces as sellers. MABE is popular as it is a real country road location with spectacular views now in its 16th year with hundreds of Sunday customers driving all around the varied SUNDAY sales from Hayle to Carn Brea to Pool Market to St Austell Council Offices to Withiel to Par Moor Road only to end their day at the fabulous and best of them all M A B E!!

Yo, you remember I am asking for people’s opinion of which day we should run LONG ROCK Wednesday is winning so far but the email replies are taking it all too seriously, we will discuss the positives and negatives soon, but fella’s don’t take it all so serious my lovelies, it’s a promise we will be there in 4 to five weeks! Thank you for responding to my ‘I only want a HUG’ that Rosie took it all too serious by near flooring me with a Rugby tackle type of HUGG!
Thank you for your support, Bring Mother, we need her 50ps please!

XX

Two weeks ago I arrived at Truro where we had about 70 sellers queuing nice bright brisk and dry day but there was something wrong! I noticed there were two men of foreign tongue going along the queue of cars tapping on the windows and asking potential sellers “Have you any gold to sell” must be Rumanians I thought as I ejected them into the front car park with threats ‘arse kicking if I see you again’ join the rest of the queue like the other buyers!

Wot a blood cheek! Our Dave would have gone BERSERK!

Thank you to all of our loyal buyers who turned out to support the sellers who braved the piss-poor weather to sell at TRURO yesterday, I know there wasn’t a lot of stalls but they certainly took good money from the comments at the end of the sale.

Some of you will remember the chaos caused by the Fairground arriving at Newquay during our Car Boot Sale despite being asked to delay their visit until after our event, Louise I tried to reason with but found their ignorance and faces like a bags of spanners with miserable attitudes hard to understand.
They are in the Leisure Industry looking afer todays kids at a fun-fair for christs sake! Be nice to people!

I was advised yesterday the same fair arrives at Falmouth today for over a week and they have been given the hard standing so we will be on the grass. I hope the conduct of some of the youngsters is better than previous years when punch-ups and disturbances caused neighbours to complain to us, which is none of our business. Have a good week and SMILE!!

I hate having so much time off because of the weather because it gives Lou time to experiment with food and cakes and I am allways the victim if the baking goes wrong and I hate being watched over and told ‘eat this I made it just for you’ and its YUCK sometimes! I am chuffed my grand-daughter is here for a week to share my misery.

Cheer up everyone be happy and live your life!

Ps; Marge stood in Cow Shit on Sunday at MABE and was livid but in her regal manner she admitted ‘Should have gone to Specsavers’ whilst I provided baby whipes to clean her crappy shoes! She loves being waited on according to Ricky!

Love to all especially my lovely wife who had her 44th birthday (looks older) yesterday so me and the grand-daughter is making her a cake. REVENGE TIME darling!!

On Sunday I got up out of a warm bed to come to Truro and run a Car Boot Sale in the freezing bloody cold and windy day for just a couple of thousand people and I get FOUR complaints about the dust and the wind! And it’s my fault! AND the four complaints came from the same WOMAN! I decided we would use the main selling field for the sale of seventy sellers because the whole of the sale is on view to passing motorists who break their journey and have followed out signs. I parked up the sellers
and the wife of a large van asked why we were in the field? I explained that we took a vote from the early sellers and they decided to be at the front. Anyway good atmosphere, the crowds queued whilst the sellers set up their stalls and buyers were able to see the BARGAINS as they were unpacked from the loaded car boots. There was a slight alarm when Dave of ‘Got any jewellery luv’ fame almost started the sale on his own! Marge says he had had a ‘funny turn’ as crowds saw him leap forward so followed him but single handed he stopped them as he hadn’t got the HORN!
On my rounds the same lady we will now call Midge complained to me ‘we should have parked round the back’ whilst trying to involve her customers to support her view. By the third time of Midge complaining I was getting a little bit ‘pissed off’ with Midge but kept my cool saying ‘I have no control over the weather just accept that on get on with selling like the others who certainly have not complained’
The sale was a huge success our team of Rachel and Becky and Dave and my gay friend Aussie John as well as Arlin (who never smiles)were having a chat whilst waiting for the last few sellers to leave and Madam Midge stormed to the car demanding to see my privately and walking a ‘safe distance’ away and started an absolute tirade of abuse concerning ‘the dust on my stock’ and ‘everyone was complaining’ and on and on and on (just like Lou) I could see she was getting some agitated so to take the sting out of the tale and to be as abusive back I could only resort to telling Madam Midge to BUGGER OFF which she did! Hah!! I was then seriously reprimanded by Arlin for being rude to customers? How can I win? why do I bother? WTF? Now then, on Tuesday at Newquay Circus Fields first Car Boot of the season only 43 sellers but lots of buyers, Becky and I were chatting about the previous day in particular ‘Midge’ when Becky said “Oh, I had her complaining to me last Sunday about the dust and the wind when we were round the back” You WHAT!
Now then, here is the bottom line about me and Midge, I don’t like large vans at my Car Boot Sales that demand three CAR spaces and only pay for two, its a CAR BOOT sale not a large van boot sale. This lady will be given a warning to behave like all of my other sellers or GO HOME!!
But here is the best punch line out of it all…her husband NEVER SAID A WORD!! Go WOMAN GO! WTF that’s WOMAN POWER! My Lou is a bit like that, that’s how I learnt to deal with MIDGE! (do not confuse MIDGE with MINGE or MARGE)

PS; I know you are not supposed to start sentences with AND but I don’t GAF my lovers.

X