You will remember the story of the 5’2″ Bronze stature of a very pretty young lady on sale at Newquay Car Boot this season. Hundreds saw it men compared it to the figure of their wives but did’nt dare tell them their thoughts I fell in love with it and bought her for 70 quid. I took her home and she has been in the office ever since. She is such great company (never says a word) but parts of her a flaking and their are cracks across her bum chest and back which need repairing before being sold on eBay. So Nigel my mate has a fifty quid challenge to fill in all her damaged bits and repaint her GOLD like by the time we come back from holidays. Then she will be sold on eBay, well that’s what I am telling her indoors!
I have called her ZELDA and will show you the finished GOLDEN ZELDA in a couple of weeks providing Nigel does’nt cock it up whilst I am away!!
I have 24 of you regulars packed in my suitcase, Louise has just one in hers! Me! She is so lucky to have me so am I!
More gossip (Marge and that delivery) on Sunday from St Kitts.
Our lovely sisters Rachel and Becky with Arlin are your crew on SUNDAY 13th please support them.

Thanks my lovers!
Bring it on!!

x

2012 was an absolute bastard of a year for most of the UK because the weather controlled the country for all businesses especially farming and outdoor leisure facilities. Its no use
complaining about the weather we all do our best but it is bloody demoralizing. We have visited all of the locations with The Royal Cornwall Showground coming out on top with the best drained grounds but Lanhydrock and Long Rock are very open grounds and cause worries about the new season. A friend came from Newcastle by train yesterday and was stunned at the sights of most of the countryside being flooded some grounds looking like lakes.

We have missed being amongst Car Boot people and went to look at the sales so did loads of our regulars who were not buying, they are the smart ones cos they know where to get the bargains. Anyway we wanted a new battery and SD card for the camera so went into Jessops who had a sale on! Some sale! The battery and SD card were going to cost £30.00 which we later bought on ebay £19.00 for exactly the same stock. No wonder the shops are suffering.

Did you notice the OWN GOAL of Tesco when they decided not to open on BOXING Day but advertised their sale items extensively an TV!

Eager Kids brought their parents to help them choose a TV at TESCO! Guess what? TESCO closed! GUESS WHAT! The Wonderful SAINSBURYS and Curry’s and Argos had a record day selling TVs and Sainsburys nearly sold out!
Message to TESCO ‘decide whats best for the customers not TESCO’S bottom line’ my lovers!

Gossip! I saw Marge go into Anne Summers the other day wanting her usual 10% off I suppose! She pretended not to see me but was she lucky I did’nt have my camera? Later in the day I bumped into her and said I had seen her go into one of the shops which she denied but then said ‘I did go into Specsavers’ You little liar!!

But I do know she was arranging a delivery! What from a SEX Shop!

More to follow………

My apologies for the delay in posting Happy Christmas wishes but we do not celebrate so its a bit two faced but I genuinely hope you all got what you deserved especially Marge and Annie & Rosie!

Lou & I decided years ago not to buy presents for each other particularly as we are in the Car Boot business; there is nothing worse than buying a pressy for say fifty quid only to find the same item being sold for a fiver at one of our sales. It is nice to receive the cards and thank you but please save the money to put towards a holiday.

The ground conditions are dreadful at all locations and the worsening weather could prevent the start of our 2013 season. Landlords are not able to look after and improve their lands until we have a completely dry couple of months which is a huge ask! (Marie)

Have you noticed that MATALAN are the only store left at the Threemilestone out of town complex? COMET & JJB SPORTS have gone so I have written to the administrators of both stores to see if there are possibilities for us to run our COMMUNITY INDOOR Car Boot Sales at the shopping centre.

This is a common sense request in these very-very hard times (which are going to get worse) it would be totally justified that the people of CORNWALL should be given this opportunity to conduct their own RECYCLING by selling INDOORS under cover in the safety of the buildings against the adverse weathers conditions! We accept that at the end of the ‘recession’ we would have to move on but we would bring immediate footfall of hundreds/thousands of buyers & sellers to the area which could see MATALAN survive these difficult times. The idea should be supported by Cornwall Council; I genuinely believe Car Boots Cornwall does more for the local environment with its recycling programme and real COMMUNITY atmospheres at our locations than any Council this side of St Kitts in the Caribbean! If you want to do a Car Boot out there all you gotta do is drive onto the grassed roundabouts and set-up! Its FREE but the most I have seen at any of the sales is 4 sellers mainly students from USA

This could be our last year to St K to meet up with Chalawa and his family in this third world country, I shall be sending blogs and pictures daily about the lives of these lovely people who are complete nutters and grow the best weeds in the world!
I cannot wait!!!!

Geoff X

Enjoy the pictures;

Ground conditions are very poor at all of our grassed locations with Mitchell, MABE, Lanhydrock and LONG ROCK suffering the most. We would like to think that all grounds will be ready for the early Easter in 2013 but it all depends on the weather despite the fact that some Landlords invest in ensuring their grounds are in top condition.
SUNDAY 18th November at TRURO was a good sunny day and puddles galore did not put off 80 sellers and over 1200 people attended this Car Boot Sale with BARGAINS galore and stalls recorded very good takings one seller reporting taking of £360.00
Three ladies came in two cars but one of the cars broke down in the sellers queue so we managed to park the broken down car with the rest of the sellers. We will call the 3 Daisy, Maisy and Crazy they had managed to get the car working before the end of the sale and were all ready to go when Crazy the owner of the other car found that she had lost the keys to the other car, correction-she was feeling a bit cold and took a coat off her clothes rail to keep warm and put her car keys in the pocket!
She then sells the jacket with the keys still in the pocket but did not realize till home time! The broken down car is now working ok but Crazy (who had borrowed the car) had to travel to Penzance to collect a duplicate key so Maisy stays at the Cattle Market to look after the keyless car!
To worry Maisy a little bit more I told her I would leave the gates open but there was going to be up to 300 cows & bullocks arriving soon for the following days Cattle Market sale and hers was the only car left!
I left around 5.00 pm and phoned Maisy about two hours later and she had just arrived home!

The nice thing about this story is the brilliant sense of humour these lovelies had about their plights and no-one blamed the other but they all had a bloody good laugh! Can you imagine the effing and blinding if men were involved who would have probably gone ape-shit blaming the wife. (I would)

DONT TELL LIES!
We get amazing reactions to telephone enquiries some calling us fabulous, awesome, magic and brilliant when we tell them which Car Boot Sales are on but on Sunday an old geezer asked if MABE was on, I told him ‘No because of the ground conditions but Truro is on instead’ As he puts the phone down I heard him say to his wife “No there is nothing on” so a few minutes later I phoned back and ‘the wife’ answered the phone. ‘Hello, this is Car Boots Cornwall just to remind you that Truro Car Boot starts at 1.30 this afternoon! I can be such a stirrer at times! Bottom line, the lady and her chauffeur hubby arrived with her saying ‘thank you so much for the call’ but he ignored me!!

Geoff

Only 17 sellers but the locals and regular buyers supported the few. Stall were charged a fiver and buyers were free. During a coffee break I was sitting in the car with Lou when I noticed 2 men walking back to their car parked near the clubhouse. One of them picked something up from the ground which I thought looked like a purse and I said to Lou ‘I cannot be certain but I think that man might have picked a purse up’ I decided not to say anything to the man but as a precaution Lou got out of the car to walk past their Landrover and texted me the registration number as they drove off.
I walked around the stalls which were preparing to pack up as the skies darkened and rain again was forecast and spoke to most of the sellers who had said it was all worth the effort one telling me they had taken over £140.00
Whilst chatting to a lady who had travelled from Penzance I was approached by a couple who asked me if a purse had been handed in so I told them of my thoughts of the man who I was not entirely sure what exactly he had picked up!

The lost purse contained all the lady’s credit card and just under £50.00 in cash, all I could do was to give the couple the car number from my mobile and they decided to go to the Police with the information I had given them. I do not know the outcome of this story hopefully the couple will tell me this Friday but ladies he is a stark warning to look after your purses!

Update;
The lady who had lost her purse went to the Falmouth Police with the details I had given regarding the car registration number. The Police have made further enquiries and took a statement from me yesterday. The suspect is not from our locality which pleases me, our locals at Falmouth over several years have handed in lost property in fact one lady handed in a purse containing over £300.00 and the following week another purse containing eighty quid and credit cards! Unfortunately they were both claimed cos we were gonna go out on the piii?

Now yesterday was a day to remember mizzle, drizzle and only 8 very keen sellers attended, normally I would cancel the sale but said ‘go for it’ and they traded for about an hour and were supported by some of the loyal locals.
Several years ago I cancelled a Car Boot at Falmouth because of weather and the sellers decided against trading. Lesley and mum-in-law did not know it was cancelled and set their stall up at the double gate entrance! They were surprised no other sellers had turned up but managed to take over one hundred and twenty pounds!!

Today (Saturday) at Truro only 34 sellers and the sale was held in the Cattle pens due to promised showers that did not happen. My Lou decided to ‘take a sicky’ and do a stall for herself, this is where I get used and abused to help pack the car, carry stuff here and there and help with setting the stall!I dont know if I was useful because compliments like that are rare, suffice it to say I managed perfectly well without her replacing her with an extra bollard! Bless her, she took over £100.00 of which I will see ‘not one penny’ which reminds me, Mr Fookoff complained about Lou doing a Car Boot demanding to know if she paid for the stall? Fair point-well made so I asked “can I have the rent please” and she said ‘and you can fookoff as well’ No breeding!!

One of her customers was Marge who asked “Does Geoff really bring you breakfast in bed” ‘Oh yes says Lou this morning I had cereal and fruits, he does the same every morning! Rosie overhearing the conversation said all I get is a cup of tea and me oats! No wonder he is always looking so happy!

SUNDAY weather looks dry could be a great Car Boot day for sellers and buyers!!
Keep an eye on your purses ladies and Marge and sellers WATCH YOUR STOCKS!

Geoff

What a lovely day Sunday turned our to be with the Car Boot Sale held on the hard standing with 70 sellers and a turnout of just over 1000 men women & kids. Some stall reported excellent takings and there were some great bargains with lots of happy buyers. We have been told time and again that parents are buying their Christmas presents for the kids at our sales which saves fortunes especially if you are buying for more than two children who will show just as much appreciation as if you have spent £££s more in the shops.
The sale was over by 3.30pm but it was nice to see our Phyllis sporting her medals on this Remembrance Sunday medals she is proud to have been awarded during her services in the RAF during the war days. Now in her 86th year Phyllis can be a pain in the bum at times but she has a great sense of humour and she sets a fine example to all those who wont make the effort to get out there and get some fresh air and exercise, live de life!! Go for it Phyliss! I have known her for so long I think I am entitled to a respite week!

…………………………………………

Rachel is back from her week at Butlins with the love of her life and she tells me they had a fantastic time and it all turned out much better than she had thought, the entertainment and facilities were exceptional and she would certainly go again! We talked about the days when I was at Butlins in the 1960s and how thin the chalet walls were you could hold a cup to the wall and hear them breathing next door, Rachel says “Nothing’s changed you should have heard the bloke next door he was snoring all night” and the people the other side of you told me what you two were up to saying “I dont know where they got their energy from they were ‘at it’ nearly all night” The ‘chalet maid’ says there were teeth marks on the headboard!! Just like mother Marge!

*It was surprising how many people mentioned ‘chalet bashing’ today from a previous story, I met 3 ex chalet maids and we have one ex-Redcoat who is a regular Car Booter. We used to make any of the staff who had ‘chalet rash which was visible to the public’ wear royal blue plasters over the love bite! what happened between the knees and the adams apple was no-ones business.
Nowadays everyone wears Tattoo’s an there is no room for the good old snog from the 60s! Yuck! Ask Mother if she remembers but ask yer grandad when hes on his own, you will learn more! Then ask them if they remember their first kiss?

I remember my first ever kiss when I was at junior school with a girl called Jennifer, I had just ‘hung the lips’ and her nose dribbled in my mouth! Goodbye Jennifer, snotty biatch!

You always get one who wants to have a groan about something and Mr Fart-Face was no exception on Sunday when he wanted all dogs banned from Car Boot Sales, if he had left it at just dogs he may have had a sympathetic hearing but no, “then I would ban all pushchairs and get this ‘disabled wheelchairs’ as well!! Outrageous thoughts!

Although he said this with tongue in cheek he seriously meant every word but his dear wife saved the day by telling him to SHUT UP! and he did!! WIMP!
Stick to your guns mate come and face some of my disabled customers and young mums who only bring the pushchairs to load the baby up with purchases and just put your hand inside my car and meet NANA MOON my dog who is a ‘nasty bitch’

My heart goes out to the double buggy mums who walk down the middle of the aisles at some of our sales with the screaming little brats giving it LOUD and Mum does’nt G A F!! When Mr Fart-Face is selling next I am going to surround his stall with babes in their buggies, over laden pushchairs, disability chairs and a couple of Blue Pass Holders, what fun you miserable old sod!! Dare me!

3 pictures;

Dig & Delve 1990s
We had some fantastic years in our second-hand shop in Falmouth especially with the local student population who relied on the shop to provide their requirements for flats and bedsits right on the doorstep of the Falmouth College. At the start of the season they would buy with plenty of money and the end of the season they would bring it back ‘skint’ and try to sell back to us. Dig & Delve (Diggies) sold everything from furniture to a complete range of household essentials, pots and pans and electrical items which had all been safety checked before they left the shop. A student young man and his partner came in to the shop he is holding a Maroon Hoover and says to me “Do you wanna buy a Hoover mate it sucks better than she does” nodding at his partner! I wasn’t sure I had heard right first time and he repeats his offer! Do you wanna buy a Hoover “yes, yes, yes I heard first time” What a lovely line and how crudely put I thought but his partner seemed chuffed at being compared to the sucking of a Hoover, what a ghastly thought, if I had been so rude about my missus she would taken away my’ luncheon box’ with the Hoover!!
Does the Hoover work”? Yes I tried it before I left home, its fine! I looked over the Hoover it was not sold by us; I plugged it in to test and turned the switch on! “BANG” the switch and plugs were blown off the wall the whole shop was in darkness apart from the counter area, an electric shock visited all parts my body and beyond I felt as though I had turned to ashes! (my gay days were back) I stood for seconds with my arm stretched in the air from the shock-shocked I was! My lovely wife says I looked a ‘proper Cornish fairy’ and that I went like Basil Fawlty raging at the young couple who were as shocked as me!! I gave them back their dreaded Hoover and as they walked out of the shop they absolutely pissed themselves laughing all down Swanpool Street! Very funny, very bloody funny, my arm could have stayed up forever, now that would be funny! But in fairness it was a bloody good laugh, the stupid PRATT!!

CARBOOTSCORNWALL & Rosudgeon Cricket Club;
For several weeks a private business firm have carried out a Business Appraisal for CAR BOOTS CORNWALL and reported on Car Boot Sales organised by ourselves, they also included the Rosudgeon Cricket Club in the report and an offer was made to Rosudgeon on behalf of Car Boots Cornwall & Roseworthy Farms/LTC Catering to sponsor the Cricket Club for 3 years for the sum of £30,000.00 (thirty thousand pounds) for Car Boots Cornwall to join Rosudgeon to their group and run the weekly Sales at Rosudgeon similar to our other 9 location, the offer further assured Rosudgeon of an improved income.
The Appraiser Mr Sam Dyer put the offer to Rosudgeon which was refused out of hand. We can accept their decision, however over the years Louise & I get complaints on a weekly basis about Rosudgeon in particular the sellers who arrive and are refused admission. Car Boots Cornwall tried to accommodate the sellers at MABE & Padstow but the cost of additional fuel and distance was the handicap.

Updated 10/11/2012

As reported above the £30,000.00 sponsorship was made to the Rosudgeon Cricket Club and the refusal response came for PLAYING FIELDS ASSOCIATION ‘a registered charity’ which must go on record to be the first REGISTERED CHARITY to refuse a sponsorship for thirty GRAND!!

Now we have LONG ROCK (minutes away from Rosudgeon) Car Boots Cornwall can and will accommodate the refused sellers, we are considering Mondays-Wednesdays Car Boot Sales during the peak season times & dates to follow. My lovers!!
We will charge our normal 50 p admission whereas the Cricket Club do not charge admission as they are a ‘registered charity’
Let battle commence, I hope the winners will be you our customers but Long Rock is going to be ‘THE BIG’ midweek CAR BOOT!
Long Rock received approval from Marge and Rita who will do the opening but Marge wants a fee of course and Rita wants to bring JIM! Whoa!!

Contrary to public belief Jim and I are not bitter enemies we used to have some bloody good laughs together, Jim is a man’s-man he was like a father to me, bring him along and his lovely wife Jan, is that man lucky or what?
My wife and lover Lou has been away for a few days and we have really missed each other, her highlight was to go to a flower arranging class where there up to 130 other nutters preening and posing they were enjoying the show! My Lou fell asleep (in the front row-SKILLS) her snoring was heard over the tannoy and can she snore, I have had 5 uninterrupted night’s sleep! Her Mother is known to lots of carbooters very poshly spoken she is and I have a very soft spot for her down at the bottom of my GARDEN my lovers!
So if I have gone quiet for a few days the peace without Lou has been earth shatteringly boring but she has just texted me to say “I love you darling” but I think she has been drinking!
Ps; That Kay makes fantastic homemade soup, thanks’ darling X

pps; Congratulations to Lou who has scored over 1000 sales on eBay with 100% feedback, it could be my sellers name that lou has taken over 4kinel
X