Recently I watched a news item where sparrows and pigeons were feeding from the ground when a seagull joined in grabbed hold of one of the sparrows and in two gulps it had become a Swallow! I felt outraged about this particularly as there is such a decline in the population of sparrows.
Two nights’s later surfing the Internet I watched a video of five boys mixing up loaves of stale bread and cakes with bicarbonate of soda and laxative powders! Content they watched as the seagulls swooped down to devour the feast of their forthcomings SHITS! The birds took off but could not gain height as they started flying around in circles redecorating the houses and people with their instant pebble dash crap including the lads who had prepared the meal. I pissed myself laughing, bad lads!
Now we are into the main season some of the holiday makers do not realize the menace of these birds and throw food down whilst eating at our Catering outlets, in no time we have up to 20 birds screeching for food and landing on the tables even worse going through the rubbish bins frightening a lot of people including the kids!
It’s time for a culling to reduce the Seagull population in Cornwall, if you do not agree how would you like it if a bloody great Seagull craps all over you and your food! Lovely sauce dear!
However I have partially resolved the problem by using a starting pistol that has the immediate effect of sending the birds high into the skies only to return minutes later. Please DO NOT FEED THE SEAGULLS if you do you deserve to have it delivered back to you from a height! Shite!
Geoff.
I say it like it is please or offend my lovers!
Click on picture!