PAR Market 03/08/2016 our lovely Amelia is in charge of PAR and the sale is well under way when a woman buyer in some distress tells Amelia “I have been stung by a wasp or a bee” Amelia gives the lady an antiseptic wipe from the first aid kit and some antiseptic cream but Ms Iva Bin-Stung is not satisfied, Amelia offers a plaster to stick over the wound but Ms Iva Bin-Stung is still not satisfied and tries to complain to the Market Management that we have not done enough for her cos she was attacked by a quarter pounder Bee Burger FFS! Initially, we all had sympathy for her but the sympathy is wearing a bit thin. We are sorry for her but her attitude is wrong.

I am at Newquay, Amelia phones me to tell me about the disgruntled lady’s complaint and tells me what she has done for the lady who is now complaining that we should be able to ‘give her a shot of something as a painkiller’ I mean she is screaming her head off cos a fricking wasp has stung her WTF is she gonna do if Amelia ‘gives her a shot’ of something? God I wish I had been there! I’d of sat on the grass on my arse rolled up a spliff and said “wasp your problem? deal with it woman instead of acting like a baby so you are” By now the woman is getting stupid over the entire incident, we have established ‘she is not ill’ other than the sting, she is acting like her shoe size demanding professional first aid but Amelia draws a line by refusing to call an ambulance so the stung woman just goes away eventually to catch her buzz home! Show some sympathy Geoff, I do I do but I have just gotten over our JoJo complaining for a whole week about her stubbed toe then the following week her got bitten by a horse fly (the little B’stards) and she went on relentlessly about it but I do know the agony and misery they can cause. Kill em!!

Well done Amelia, but we have never had kids who have been stung acting like that before FFS. The best sting of all stings is when your dog gets stung chasing wasps and stupid DOG gets a thumping geet sting on its upper lip and the lip it all swells up and DOG can’t eat FFS! Hilarious fun. Good time to play ‘catch the ball slobber chops’ Apparently if you rub nettles into a Bee sting it hurts even more FFS!!

I wonder what Ms Iva Bin-Stung meant by ‘giving her a shot of something’ to kill the pain of the wasp sting? My Louise was stung by a huge massive (of course it was dear) Bee two weeks ago on her bum, was it a ‘Bum-blebee’ dearest? Truth to tell she hardly complained but the poor Bee died almost immediately of blood poisoning FFS! I offered her my special massage and medication and ‘a shot of something’ but she declined my generous and genuine concerns and offer by basically telling me to sod off!

Mitchell Car Boot Sale; 7th August;

Large white van pulls into sell at Mitchell seller pays his rent and sets up his stall with his wife which is mainly furniture. We do not know the seller he is not a regular. A lady impressed with a ‘double bed settee’ asks how much and does a deal with the seller for £35.00 plus the delivery cost of ten pounds. The lady tells the seller ‘I do not have the full amount of cash may I pay a deposit please’ Seller says “Don’t worry about that my love you can pay me when I deliver”

Buyer gives seller her address and buyer is delighted, goes home redecorates and makes various changes to her room in readiness for her guests coming to stay today for a few days (on the settee) and for the delivery of the settee at the arranged time of 10.00 am on the Monday morning. Happiness is. Guess what?
By 2.00 pm she decides to phone to check what the delay is asking ‘Where is my double bed settee?’ seller says “Sorry love my missus wanted more money for it and sold it to someone else, sorry love! The B’stard FFS!

All of a sudden ‘happiness isn’t’ alas the very upset lady whose plans for her guests were now in ruins telephones Louise to tell her what had happened.
What an absolute B’stard thing to do that is ‘rude and dirty dealing’ at its worst. If the seller arrives again to sell at any of our locations a serious bollicking awaits him and then it’s my turn!

The buyer however missed out on this deal because she should have absolutely insisted on paying the deposit she had offered and ‘Can I have a receipt please’ also take the vehicle’s registration number and finally ‘take a picture’ of the item, but you are on your own on this one darling Caveat Emptor ‘buyer beware’ You haven’t got a settee leg to stand on my darling, Ha-ha. We must give a thought to the guests who has just arrived from Poona Woona Land knackered ‘where TF am we gonna to sleep tonight? Poor sods.

Footnote; Kick the seller’s arse!