Saturday at MITCHELL 26th July 2014

It would seem the hot weather affected some of our customers last Saturday where there was 4 different complaints about the conduct of some of our customers so I will start with the first complaint towards one of our team members Alice who was collecting the rents. Car Boots Cornwall has held all prices without increases since 2010 and it was well advertised that there would be an increase at Mitchell for cars to increase to £7.00 and Estates & 4 x 4s to £8.00 so a few customers took it upon themselves to be rude to Alice about the increases which I personally authorised and advised through this column also the policy prices within our website do outline our charges, those people who find it necessary to be rude to any member of our teams should come and be rude to me or simply engage brain and if you do not agree with the £7.00 charged just quietly turn on the car engine and drive out of the field FFS.
For the record the prices up country are in the region of £10.00 and by the way at Hayle they charge £10.50 for an estate/4 x 4

Next we have some idiot who was asked to park alongside the other arriving cars and because he did not agree with where our steward wanted him to park he drove his car at our man in such a reckless fashion his registration details were taken and he was BARRED on the spot.
Whilst this incident is going on we get the usual abuse from the minority of BLUE PASS holders demanding to be in the front row and as you are all aware I am hard on some of the alleged ‘disabled’ particularly as they look for preferential treatment because they hold one of these dreaded passes.
Get out of you car and walk is my motto, get some exercise and some fresh good old Cornish Country air into your lungs and stop being a whinge bag but if you have a wheelchair because of being incapacitated then I will endeavour to get you as close to the action as possible.
However whoever you are if you arrive half an hour after our start time as buyers regretfully there is limited space ‘at the front of the sale’ it’s as simple as that!
We are all equal at our community car boots sales so anyone thinking of rocking the boat and spoiling the pleasure of countless thousands then go elsewhere, sod off!!

Now then, did you know that a recent study of Blue Pass holders 17% of those checked belonged to someone else and 12% of them had been photocopied? Tut bloody tut! And also did you know that the blue passes have absolutely no authority on private land?

The next incident briefly was that one of the dealers complained that an elderly lady seller was rude to him beggars belief as he demanded that I take his side against the lady. At this time I will not tell further apart from to apologise on behalf of all self-respecting dealers to the lady concerned with a reminder that I will not tolerate bullying of any sort towards sellers at their stalls.

Mrs Large-Large from SCOTLAND!!

The main event of the afternoon was that several people came to complain that at the top end of the field a fat woman was shouting extremely offensive language about children and threatening to hit them, several customers had asked the lady to stop the offensive language. By the time I arrived the very large very large woman with a Scottish accent was firing on all cylinders with gob fulls of hatred to those around her whilst one man was so offended that his children had been subject to hearing such filth from the woman he demanded an apology which she refused. I tried to talk to the woman to calm her down to talk quietly but she continued to open her gob and let the wind blow her tongue around and shout and holler whilst I am getting advice from all and sundry to ‘call the Police’ and from another a kind offer of a potato sack trolley to cart the silly old moo off another offering “do you want to borrow my flatbed truck Geoff”?

I asked her repeatedly to leave the field which she refused. She alone representing Scotland in Cornwall and her foul disgusting mouth resulted in complaints about the Scottish referendum indeed on of the Mr Fook-off family advised ‘give them independence we don’t fooking need them and we can send her fooking back an all’ The very, very, large and angry woman departed the scene having ruined the atmosphere that normally prevails at our sales but how else could I have handled the situation?
If I had called the Police what then? This woman was hell bent with fury, imagine them arresting her and having to wrestle her and pummel and push her into the back of their van and MacSalvors refuse to turn out!! What then?

At one stage I told her she was ‘a silly moo’ the way she was acting she then, with the loudest of gobs ever started to MOO MOO MOO and fecking MOOING towards the other sellers which really pissed them off FFS !!
Message to diary;
Not the best of days really, when I got home she had got a headache as well so I beat the dog up and went to frigging bed! Good night my lovers. X

And finally, Scotland is a beautiful country, I once owned two hotels one in Edinburgh and the other in the Highlands Garve in Rosshire.
I opened two fantastic Bingo Halls for my company in the late 60s so I got to know the Scots very well, and can they drink or what? I feel that Scotland should stay with us in the UK like Cornwall is and we should strive for Independence to run our own affairs without Westminster and without separating from this United Kingdom. I also have served my country in HM The Life Guards and got to know some great Scots Guards (I couldn’t understand WTF they were saying most of the time) but that ugly sod Adolph Alex Salmond will emphatically lose the yes vote! The last time I saw a gob like his it was being dragged out of the sea with a furking great fish hook similar to Mrs Large-Large!