She called me a BUTT plug, WTF is a Butt Plug?

Regulars have noticed that some of the young people who helped us last year are back again most of them students and the one person who everyone will remember is 17 years old Alice our attractive (from a distance) team member who collects the sellers rents. She is great fun to work with and has a brilliant sense of humour and her popularity is a credit to her likeable personality, the downside of Alice is like all women she has her mood swings and then??
Her and I were having a friendly row a couple of weeks ago and as she was losing the argument she decided to resort to verbal abuse by calling me a ‘BUTT PLUG’ After she had stopped laughing at her own joke (always does) I asked her ‘WTF is a BUTT PLUG’ and she replied “You’re one, look it up on GOOGLE” So I did and I was alarmed that at my sweet old age I had not come across BUTT PLUGS before. For those of you readers you will read this and say ‘WTF is a BUTT PLUG’? Let me explain, basically you grease them up a bit then shove them up your bum, it’s supposed to be an ‘exhilarating and an exshiting experience’ especially the vibrating ones. They seem to come in three sizes small medium or the ‘Ooh that’s lovely’ large one which is battery operated and has 10 different speeds FFS! And, I am led to believe that some people have one inserted all day? So if you are standing and talking to someone and you hear a slight vibrating sound you will know what it is, I mean I personally never would have thought such a thing existed but now I know what a BUTT PLUG is so I must get even with Alice for calling me a BUTT PLUG in the first place, the cheeky MOO face!
Now then, my business mind takes it a stage further particularly with our Car Boots biggest problem ‘dogs’ or to be more specific dog shit. Supposing these BUTT PLUGS were made in various doggy sizes and we loaned all dog owners who arrived with a dog to either buy or sell at our Car Boots the perfect sized BUTT PLUG for their dog to prevent it having a crap at my car boots. So, the perfect fit BUTT PLUG has to be vasalined by the dog’s owner (please bring your own Vaseline) then inserted up your dog’s butt hence BUTT PLUG! Your dog might well yelp and scream a bit or may wish to snap your frigging hands off or try to run a mile, but persevere my dears ! We recommend a bungee jump over its clap trap could help. We could have our very own BUTT PLUG Inspector Miss Alice Mc Fartlane to check all dogs have their BUTT PLUGS correctly inserted. Now then, when the dog and its owners want to leave they unplug their dogs bum BUTT PLUG and throw the used bum BUTT PLUGS into the bin provided. Then and only then your dog can feel free to have its crap of the day and be content to empty its bowels in the safety and comfort of your very own car hopefully redecorating your seats (sniff it up) with shite and not my Car Boot fields!