Many of you know over the years I have gone on about people who bring dogs to our Car Boot Sales and allow them to crap without making any effort to use poo bags as they walk on and away from the problem their dog has just caused. Our team are constantly asking dog owners to clean up their dogs droppings some get offended others shrug their shoulders. Yesterday at MABE Louise and I were heading for the top gate at the selling field when we notice a fat old fart pull up outside the gates open the car door and let our 3 yappy crappy dogs who started to run around and before we reach the gate all 3 had emptied their bowels onto the grass for one of you or even worse one of your children to step into! I asked the man what he thought he was doing bringing three dogs onto private farm land to allow them to shit without making any effort to clean up after them. His reply was ‘they did most of it at home in the garden’
After a few choice words the FB called the dogs back to the car and he drove off winning the award SMF of the day!!

On Saturday at Mitchell a man who claims he bent down to pick something up but actually he bent down to stroke an unknown dog who retaliated by biting him on his mouth top lip and bottom lip! Bingo what a shot as he came to the car asking for first aid to his bleeding lips, did I have any sympathy? NOPE he looked as though someone had tried to staple his fat lips together as Jackie offered him SAVLON wipes to try to stem the bleeding! That’ll teach him not to stroke strange dogs! Next day at MABE old FAT LIPS came to thank us for helping out (not me) as he relived the incident telling us what a rough night he had had but no sympathy Geoff asked ‘have you been able to eat’? “Not a thing” the SOS said “Couldn’t sleep and my pillow was covered with blood this morning” Now wont that teach you to not to touch dogs you don’t know, said I! If that had happened to me my missus would have demanded for a goodnight kiss or accidently smacked me in the gob whilst turning over during the night! Can you imagine the pain my lovers having your bleeding lips stapled together by a frigging dog! Oh and by the way that idiot who has a programme on Radio 4 has been yapping on about me and my attitude about people who leave their dogs in the cars without leaving the windows open again, must be a riveting programme to fall asleep to but I wish some dog would STAPLE his lips, I don’t know his name but he certainly knows mine! I believe his initials are SMF number 2!

Seriously, I am contemplating BANNING dogs from Car Boot Sales, we are in negotiation with a NEW Car Boot site and the owners are insisting “NO DOGS” and I agree but with the exception of our Dog Nana Moon who is part of our security team, so there! Leave your DOGS at home bring your cat instead providing you bring some ‘cat crap bags’ my lovers!
And finally on the dogs stories a regular lady seller was walking her dog in the selling field when it strained against the lead to squat and poo, she did not have a ‘poo bag’ and seeing Lou and me looking at her she picked up the offending poo with her bare hand and threw the runny stuff into the hedge and then sniffed her hand! Yuck, Yuck Yuck! Enjoy your breakfast dear!

Big gossip coming soon ask Ann?

Geoff