Everyone was happy today, good weather over 80 stalls and around 2000 men women and their kids looking for and buying BARGAINS! We had one complaint about something that was stolen from a stall, I mean really, two persons both adults supervising a selling space no more than 10 x 4 and they allow someone to steal from them, what the hell were they doing FFS? Your problem, deal with it, concentrate!

Lots and lots of complaints about ‘all these foreigners’ and ‘I am going to vote to get out of the EU’ seemed to be the popular opinion from a fair selection of our regular customers. I will give my opinion later but I think Cameron has lied so much to the British people since him and his rotten government came to power but I fear that this time he will win the vote. However, as June approaches and judging from people’s opinion at the moment Davey Boy might get a shock and get his arse kicked out of Downing Street as a loser, hopefully?

Now then, over the winter period it seems the Inland Revenue have been paying a lot of attention to sellers on eBay in particular ‘their takings’ and is there any income tax due? I have got to tell you they are relentless in their checks so as a friend I am advising you that if you are making money from sales on eBay then you should get advice from either the Inland Revenue or an accountant. Similarly if you do Car Boot Sales on a regular basis you should declare what you are doing and about your earnings to the Inland Revenue and ask for their advice. Come clean, cos the longer you leave it the bigger the income tax demand. Oh, and by the way don’t come to the boot sales bragging about “They will never catch me cos I’ve got loads of different accounts on eBay” cos they can and will my lovers. We know of 3 people being ‘looked into’ so to speak by the Big Brother investigation teams of the Inland Revenue!

My advice is still tongue-wise head! Tell absolutely no-one any of your Car Boot or eBay business especially at our Car Boot Sales cos gossip is rife and titbits of information overheard at my sales often reappear in this column FFS! Fess up time for the guilty ones.

We are in discussion with Perranporth Rugby Club to hold Car Boot Sales at their grounds which I believe will be most popular. We are planning Wednesdays to start with and we may well do Sundays during the peak season school holidays.

Newquay is difficult to predict at the moment however the Landlords assure us we will operate for Easter weekend. The entrance has been moved back to the original Morrison’s roundabout.

Ladies, similar to last year if there are any husband and wifey teams who sell regularly at our sales and he is being a pain in the bum, then why not volunteer him to help us park up the cars of the buyers whilst you can get on with setting your stall up ‘your way for once’ FFS! You will be able to arrive early to set your own stall up, he can help you (and pour your coffee) till we need him and you get a FREE STALL into the bargain saving over a tenner! All we ask of him is that he wears one of our HV tops and Bob will teach him the rest and if the truth be known he will enjoy himself much more parking with us for a while than working with you especially if you have both had that regular ‘early morning tiff’ FFS! Then everybody’s happy hopefully.

Back to ‘all those foreigners’ I have got to admit they were all great on Sunday their behaviour was as it should be and they spent well and they read this column and I believe that the different communities appreciate our Cornish customs, however there was one good looking fellow foreigner who was ready to Pole-vault over the fencing as soon as the horn started the sale. There is a barbed wire attached to the top of the POLES and as he was about to leap-frog over his mates POLE-d him away. I would have loved to have put something in our Accident Book about some foreign bloke (we are all foreign FFS) ripping his goolies open at our Sunday Car Boot which would have been a great spectacle especially as Marge and Posh Ann were on standby first aiders. Imagine the blood! Goulash for tea dears!

A major achievement;

This week we will have achieved over ONE MILLION visits to our website and we thank all of our visitors for their support. I would ask that if you read an item you enjoy send it one to one of your friends by copying and pasting the address bar please.
Take care with and enjoy your life my lovelies.
Geoff
Ps; I know the Polish people have a good sense of humour and that they probably get blamed for most that goes wrong cos it’s easy to say the word POLES ‘the Poles did it’ FFS, we Cornish folk have a warped sense of stupidity and humour which POLE-itely put means it is tough shit on you POLES but bloody hilarious really.

I had a girlfriend once I think she was a Pole, her was called POLE-ene! Get it? Pauline!! Take care you Poles Pol-ease! And don’t forget to use out toilets ‘not on the grass’ then when you’ve finished you can POLE the chain FFS!!

x
Now was that a POLE-ished performance or what me ansum?