Money, money, money!!

It is common knowledge that the fewer the sellers we get then the more money you will take on your stall (providing we can get the buyers required) so if you come to any of our Car Boot Sales and there are only say 15-20 sellers don’t do what a few “chicken sellers” did on Wednesday and drive off. There were 12 sellers plus two of our team members who had FREE stalls the sellers were also given a £3.00 off voucher for the following week. Once they had set up their stalls they were eagerly supported by some 220 plus very keen buyers and I can tell you the absolute honest truth that the sellers took well in excess of £1300.00 between them which is astounding.
I know the two members of our team took £180.00 and gave some genuine bargain to the buying public but the other stalls all traded well. If you were disappointed with the low turnout it will improve over the next few weeks especially now that the schools are breaking up but I anticipate up to 100 stalls at The New Mitchell on Wednesdays in the next weeks and during the school holidays and from our crowd last Wednesday 5 of them were virgin boot sellers.

Par Market on Thursday had around 30 sellers who traded well until the rain at 11.30 stopped play. This location is the cleanest of our group of venues because it is hard standing and the grounds are kept in immaculate condition plus fantastic toilet facilities but remember the site is owned by Par Markets and they do not allow us to sell NEW GOODS which is totally fair, I do not wish our customers to compete with the Market Traders and by the way ‘new goods’ includes plants and any type of foods.

Rain affected Thursday at Newquay for a lot of sellers which was not helped by my stupidity by not updating the website and my mobile message for which I apologise. People had seen the weather in their own areas which was fogging rain but did not realize that when I started Newquay at 12.00 noon the sun came out (it always does wherever I am) and the buyers came out and they spent money much to the amusement and financial benefit of our lovely sellers. One of our regular regulars had her first customer of the day who spent £180.00 and I know of one or two more that took over £300.00 on the day but more important for the buyers are the absolute BARGAINS that I see walking past me with our laden buyers returning to the car with their pile of purchases. So if my information was not updated and it affected your day then please ask me for forgiveness and I will give you a £3.00 off voucher (you hope) in repentance and for forgiveness for my foolish ways?

It is amazing the amount of people do not and cannot work out my abbreviations so here is another SFA! And it is not short fat arse!

Friday at Falmouth just over 50 stalls one seller well known for being a tight fisted sod took £300.00 but as he arrived he told our rent collector Tammii “I am a friend of Geoff’s and he gave me a FREE voucher to sell here today and I appear to have lost it” ‘that is £8.00 please, Geoff does not have friends and he doesn’t give out FREE stalls either’ says our Tammii, correct on both points. I know he reads this so Jason improve your ways and by the way do not wind up my mates Posh Anne or Mr Fook with your bogus deals FFS or I will start printing some home truths about you over the past twenty years Jason, know wot I mean, nudge-nudge, dark alleys, wink-wink, say no more Jason yer bugger.

Thank you to Tammii, but I have not forgiven her for knowing full well that I have been limping with what the doctor call ‘a policeman’s foot’ which is very painful! As I was walking away from the gate she noticed a large stone just where I was just about to walk and she deliberately called me to distract me and I tripped arse over tit over the frigging stone which bloody hurt much to the amusement of Tammii who was incontrollable with laughter almost emptying her blad in public. Oh and by the way she’s nick-named PAM (and she hates it) but plays that type of trick on her best mates FFS! Guns or knives Tammii, guns or knives?

Ps; It has been a pleasure for Tammii to work with us? She is just great and then some more, we have the best team EVER whom we will feature shortly on our new FACEBOOK which Tammii and her mate Kirstie and others will contribute, love em all!!
XX

I do not easily get wound up over people but there is one woman whom I shall refer to as Griselda and who has caused me complications on a major scale just by the fact that she has been a complete ‘pain in the arse’ since we clapped eyes on her some 10 years ago! Griselda is Canadian she is short fat and dumpy probably in her late 60s and very thick skinned, she does not talk to other sellers because she thinks she is ‘a cut above’ them all and she has always got some worthless negative complaint or comment to make and she spends little whilst she soaks up the atmosphere created by the real people. We also know of an American lady who is from very a wealthy family back in the US of A but she is such an embarrassment to her family that they told her to ‘sod off to England’ and they pay her monthly to make sure she bloody stay here, I believe Grizelda is probably here under the same circumstances.

At the Old Mitchell many years ago we had two decent old farts who were twin brothers, they collected the buyer’s admission money and they both were really popular lads called Roger and Paul. They were so easy going it would not be easy to wind them up because they were high and happy on life (no weed involved?) and basically they couldn’t GAF about anything that would worry them, but when Griselda arrives to pay her admission money it was like a red rag to a bull, particularly with Roger. She would stop her car in the gateway holding up all the other sellers and buyers traffic whilst she gets out to open her boot to get her bloody handbag to pay the admission charge in the hope that Roger would give her a ‘freebie’ just to move her on and prevent a queue of traffic FFS!

Her next move is to drive up to the very front of the sale and park almost with the boot sellers with little or no respect for our parking staff who wanted her to park elsewhere. Wherever I saw her she had somehow or other got to the front of the Q of the parking or in our Emergency Services area and you could watch her winding in and out of the traffic just to get to the front where she would meet me telling her I want you to park over there, she moves to where I want her parked 5 minutes later she has moved again. This all sounds a bit teasy but when this fat faced old biddy does it 3 or 4 times a week over the years it slowly pisses you off.

Eventually Roger’s bubble was burst as his face turned like a Balesha beacon as I watched Grizelda arrive and start going through her weekly routine of stopping her car etc. I could see the holdup of the traffic and pondered ‘could she be another Leggo spy girlfriend’ sent to wind us up with the traffic chaos? Anyway I bollocked her without one swear word and in no uncertain terms laid down that she has her money at the ready like all of the other buyers otherwise ‘you are BARRED’!

Now let’s wind this forward to last Thursday at Newquay where this dreaded woman arrives well after the queue of the buyers had started yet every week she is at the head of the queue pushing in front of almost everyone to be the ‘first fatty’ past the post when the horn goes off to start the effing sale’ I had watched this for long enough, the dear old regulars get absolutely pissed off with Grizelda pushing in, but they were being well-mannered and pleasant and not being confrontational with the old battle-axe so they decide to have a go at me FFS!

But what they didn’t realize was that I could see how ‘wound up’ they all were getting so before I started the sale at which fat-faced Grizelda was at the front of the Q almost standing on my feet I said to her (get off my fricking toes FFS) (not true) “Each week you push your way to the front of the Q and, and if you do it again you is BARRED!!
You have had a PUBLIC WARNING” the people in the front of the Q were chuffed to mint balls that she had been found out with her ‘I am more important that the others and I should be at the front of the Q’ attitude. Now, those people at the front of the queue know I do not mess around and I say it like it is which is normally enough however fat-faced dumpy Grizelda then had the bloody nerve to complain to my missus about me!
Louise deliberated, then Grizelda got her full fortune told to her by my Lou in pounds shillings and pence as to where she stands and “whatever Geoff Says he is the BOSS and I wouldn’t antagonise him nor his customers otherwise you are OUT and he don’t mean maybe, oh and by the way stop pushing into the front of the Q, Is that quite clear, dear?

Her excuse, I don’t like being in that Q because there are Poles there. ‘No Grizelda thems are barriers and bollards you silly moo’ I suppose she means Polish people from Poland. I can cope with the Polish a bloody sight better than Canadian women, I only know one of them and I hate them both FFS!!

Consultation;
Throughout the years of our lives we meet up with all sorts of people some are lovely, some are adorable, some are horrible and some are a complete pain in the arse like Grizelda and the ones who are the pain in the arse are normally the ‘me, me, me, me first’ variety who really think ‘they are all that and then some more’ and they really think ‘their poo don’t pong’!

Grizelda should really take a hard look at herself and realize she has probably been a spoiled brat in Canada in her younger years and probably living in a fantasy world completely of her own and totally wrapped up in herself at the cost and ignorance to all others so it is right that she should think that everyone in the room doesn’t quite like her or that the whole world is against she.
Get wise woman, be like all the other lovely people around you and try to be on the same wave length as everyone else and try to treat everyone as your equals and realize every person in this world is the most important person in their own world, but we are all equals so please take your turn and DON’T PUSH IN FFS!

DO NOT FEED THE SEAGULLS!

The Seagulls problem is worse this year than previous years and you will have heard that they attacked and killed a Yorkshire terrier last week. We are using STARTER PISTOLS at our location which certainly frightens the birds away but they always return. These land Seagulls are becoming a serious problem at all outdoor public events and I believe there should be serious consideration for a major culling in the UK because of all the damage they are doing to our buildings in town centres. There is nothing worse than walking through Falmouth when these sky shiters pebble dash you and your clothing. A couple of years ago I went to Treliske and at my appointment I thought the doctor was cross-eyed because he kept looking over my left shoulder whilst filling in the medical card. He stands up, gets a wadge of tissues and handing them to me he says “Excuse me sir, you’ve got shit on your shoulder” ‘I beg your pardon’??

If you see Big Steve the Rockman please warn him about the dog killing Seagulls also tell him to keep an eye on his dear miniature yapping crapping BRUNO mutt of a rat faced miniature street accident dog cos it would be tragic and dreadful to see Bruno heading towards the skies yap-yapping and probably pap-papping and crap-crapping as it is clutched in a seagulls claws up up and away FFS to become a feast for all the Seagull Family. Tragic and dreadful but bloody hilarious Steve my lover. I can see Hyacinth shedding a tear of laughter as she sympathises with Steve, peace at last! Missing you already Bruno, the dear of him!!