Let’s all start a rumour about Louise & Geoff just for the fun of it so this weekend was no exception for instance there were several idiots who daydream my downfall by today’s rumour is saying “Did you know that they (that’s me and Lou) they have had Penryn Rugby Club taken off them and it’s being run by the club now they have been kicked off”
Well that is a load of absolute shambolic bollocks because we and Penryn Rugby Club are delighted with the Car Boot Sales and ‘we wanna be together’ for long into the future.

How that rumour started is that there is restricted parking for our buyers. When the Tall Ships were hosted last year by Falmouth the Penryn Rugby Club fields were used for the vast amount of visitors and their cars and I was most impressed with the parking which was done by members of the Penryn Rugby Club. I asked two of them Bill & Ben to take over the parking for today’s sale and show us how they deal with the parking? They were superb at parking up to 700 cars during the sale however we do advise buyers to park in Asda or on the Kernick Industrial Estate which is on the doorstep of the Rugby Club, or walk or cycle or get Dad to drop you off and come back later for you.

Anyway Louise was in charge of Penryn for the day which brings me to the next rumour and that is that ‘we are not married’? Unfortunately that is a blatant lie of course we are married and for the record I have been married four times (I just like wedding cake FFS) my previous 3 wives have ‘passed on’ but the 4th one wont!! We have known each other for over 30 years which is another story entirely but love blossoms for both of we two, see!

Many years ago Lou proposed to me during a Leap Year and I politely refused which really pissed her off but three times bitten I was not rushing in just because someone wanted my body, no way! Anyway, Lou and I were working at Falmouth Rugby Club Car Boot on July 14th in 2000 and we had arranged to go to the Registry Office and get married, we only told two persons who kept the secret. Neil and Wendy both in their late 70s had been very loyal customers at our Dig & Delve shop in Falmouth. Truthfully Wendy was a delightful old battle-axe and her attitude towards life was a bit like mine, let’s be confrontational and rude to someone every day! What a motto FFS!

What endeared me to Wendy was her absolute hatred for Margaret Thatcher cos I thought the same especially remembering the damage she did to the lives and communities in the North East TOB! And if the Queen didn’t like her why should I?
Neil, the hen-pecked poor sod was the only person Wendy was ever rude to though! She used to marmelize him with her frozen words and her poison tongue. He was a short fat arse who dribbled a lot and during his dribbling’s she used to wipe his gob (more like punch FFS) whilst bollicking merry hell out of him, he was such a likeable old boy who couldn’t hear WTF she was saying anyway but they dearly loved each other, I think.

As customers of Dig & Delve Neil used to love looking at the recycled porn magazines we sold for about a quid fifty a time and Neil was allowed two per week by Wendy which were bought in such secrecy so other customers could not see what a horny pair of buggers we were up to, I mean in their late seventies they apparently ‘went for it’ at least three time a week I could imagine when she really got Neil going he would be dribbling even more FFS!
Anyway, I asked them if they would they witness us getting married?
They were delighted and on the day after we had picked up the litter at the Car Boot at Falmouth Rugby Club both dressed in denim jeans & shirts we ran to the Registry Office and there was Neil and Wendy waiting at the entrance all toffed up looking delightful both wearing a flower to celebrate Lou and I getting married. I am not sure Neil completely knew what he was there for but our Wendy went for it throwing in the odd tear or two which seemed to start Neil off. What with her and her tears and him with a dribbling gob it was a most memorable occasion, I think. Seriously they were a lovely couple, great fun. X

Anyway the Registrar announced us as an item and we duly signed our lives to each other which is a bit of a ball ache at times but love wins through most of the time. (Or does it?) Sadly Wendy died shortly after our wedding and I cried and cried for dear old Wendy whom we both adored and dear Neil was eventually taken into care.

Truro Sunday 14th June;
You will know we started Truro Cattle Market Car Boot Sales on SUNDAYS at 12.00 noon today and I was delighted with the turnout of 40 sellers who were well supported by eager buyer who got some genuine bargains from sellers ‘who had never done a car boot before’ Truro has always been well known for ‘Virgin Booters’ and today was no exception as there were six ‘first-timers’ who took very good money!
Before Truro had finished I travelled on to our 3.00pm Car Boot sale at Bodmin/Lanhydrock run by Amelia and her Mum Jo-Anna. To assist Amelia I offered to park the sellers and I have never seen such appalling driving by the sellers who could not negotiate a STRAIGHT LINE FFS!

I mean what is wrong with Bodmin drivers, do they not realize it is time to ‘re-sit you’re driving tests’ that’s if you have taken it in the first place. And then when you have got them near to where you want them parked they get out of their cars and put their tables out on the opposite side of most other sellers in the same row. Anyway I thought the sellers at Lanhydrock were a bit La De Dah and posher than our down to earth people at our other Car Boots, they did not appear to be selling because they needed the money ‘we need the space’ gave buyers real bargains.

And another thing I noticed that all of the stalls were well set up with real sellable items unlike some of our stalls where everything is chucked on the ground and look more like land-fill sites FFS! I have got to give praise to the man who sells Roses to our buyers, he is based in Mitchell and sells at several of our sites, he is a professional grower and he and his wife give our customers great value and are pleasant to their customers. Thank you!

The buyers seemed a decent lot but some old gadgie decided to challenge me when asked I for 50p per person for himself and his missus. “What are you going to give the pensioners, wot about the pensioners, how much are you going to charge pensioners” My reply ‘Double’ which amused his wife but not him (result!) I am also a pensioner and I would not dream of asking for a discount of 50p! What do you think the lord of the Manor of the Lanhydrock Estate just gives us the use of his land for FREE or what! Being a pensioner is not a disease you silly old sod it is a fact of life but what pissed me off about this daft old fart was that he and many of his fellow ‘pensioners’ arrived at our Boot Sales in the latest model 2015 cars all worth and costing upwards of £15,000.00 all paid for then they go home to their houses mortgage free FFS and they begrudge paying 50p for the pleasure of me and my Car Boots or do these cars actually belong to the fleet of Mobility cars given away by this Tory government just because they have a limp or summit similar in exchange for their votes?

The pensioners have never had it so good so don’t wind me up or I may think of doubling the entrance costs for pensioners and letting the rest in for FREE! On the other hand I might definitely not!! On the other hand something I did notice about the Bodmin folk is that they look well and fit and they don’t seem to overeat like some of our customers so therefore they will live longer because they have a healthy lifestyle. So I highly recommend all you Europeans to settle down in Bodmin please and not in Falmouth cos we have got enough of you here already, you could all open Driving Schools and teach the Bodminites to drive proper FFS!
Bottom line is that Lanhydrock is a good Car Boot Sale in the heart of the country yet on the doorstep of the major roads to all areas. There was a great atmosphere the people are nice (but reckless drivers) and Amelia and Mum do a great job. X

I noticed that my friends from Europe are in abundance in Bodmin so I hope they respect our wish for all customers to ‘pay for and not to steal’ from any of our sellers and for sellers to keep vigilant at all times.
One of the stalls was selling all sorts of Jams Marmalades and Chutneys and was beautifully presented however if you are selling such items your stock must be dated from the actual date you made the product. You should also be aware that Trading Standards and the Environmental Health are very keen to check out the sellers with home visits to see where the products are being made all in the interest of the buyers health you understand my lovers. We once had a lady who used to carry her stocks around in a smoky car and the jars used to stink of fags so I advised I wanted her to have a house check before she sold again. End of!

Thought for the day!
“If I am not there then you certainly won’t be”
X