Tuesday at Newquay was a great day weather wise we expected over 100 stalls and got over 130 and the buyers turned out in force to grab some great bargains. All was going fine until I was handed a piece of paper with a car registration number written and a message that a man had taken the number and was standing at the vehicle and “ready to smash the car’s windscreen if I do not do anything about the two dogs ‘allegedly distressed’ inside the car” The irate disabled man had apparently seen the dogs in distress and was ready to call the Police as well.
Firstly, let me inspect the car which was a saloon with both rear side windows open providing adequate ventilation for the two small dogs. The car windows were of a dark stained colour providing reduced sun glaze for the dogs and in the front window they had put a sun protective shield in my opinion providing superb circumstances for the short stay that the dogs would spend at the boot sale. I had to be really nosey to actually see the dogs who seemed well happy with their lives. The complaining man was adamant that if he called the Police they would smash the windows which is certainly not true. Most of the time they are too busy to turn out for a couple of dogs however they have known us for many-many years and I believe they are happy that we deal with all situations ‘in the interest of the public and their safety firstly. But still, he wanted to act further by saying “I will smash the window then” ‘No you won’t that would be criminal damage’ I assured him also saying the dogs were ok ‘Now go and enjoy the boot sale’ As a precaution I put one of our yellow cards DOGS COULD DIE IN HOT CARS under their windscreen and within 15 minutes the owners of the dogs returned the card, they had been 100% responsible in their effort to protect their dogs during their short stay, thank you!

A very posh gent complimented me by saying “You have the cleanest portable toilets I have ever used” ‘Thank you’ “Could we have some paper next time?” What a line! After a quick inspection yes you have guessed it, the PHANTOM porta-bog roll ‘knicker’ is at it again! Don’t tell me we are going to have to ask our beloved toilet worshippers to bring your own bog paper FFS!
Have faith. A lady on Tuesday came to say she had bought a mirror off a stall and asked if she could collect it later but when she went to collect it the stall holder had buggered off. Today the buyer came to tell me that the seller of the mirror had kept it in her boot in the hope that the buyer would claim it today, isn’t that nice. The buyer was delighted and will tell all her mates what an honest crowd we all are, well at least some of us, I am not being rude about the mirror but it was horrible no wonder the seller brought it back FFS, I wouldn’t have it in my house.

Ps; Pensioners.
Oh boy, have I ruffled a few feathers with my rant about ‘them never having had it so good” especially big Steve who complained that I have no respect for the pensioners! True, what is your point though? Just for the record most of the research into my attack on the ‘rich pensioners’ was done by my Lou who gave me all the bullets to fire!! Pick on her Big Steve, I dare you!!