Readers will remember several years ago some local radio bloke announcerette from the BBC thought he was on an absolute winner by poking his nose into something that was none of his business in the first place. He arrived at a very busy Mitchell Car Boot Sale and noted a dog in a car that according to him was stressed out and what was I going to do about it? The man Lawrence Reed, Lorry to his mates apparently does some chat crap talk show on local BBC radio show and he loves to hear his own voice so much that the only time he will give way is if someone phones in to his gobby programme to complain about something of other and its normally old farts or fartesses who want to bitch about something or other or hear themselves on radio allegedly trying to talk sense.

Back to MITCHELL on the Saturday we had over 3000 buyers and sellers including all their kids and sodding dogs (bring poo bags or else) this man comes to the car and says “there is a dog in the car park locked in a car and it seems stressed and has no air” A similar complaint about the same dog was lodged earlier and one of our team went to the car and confirmed back to me the dog was Ok and there was air into the car from open windows. I told the man I knew about the dog and he interrupts by saying “But, I am from the BBC” which to me was like a red rag to a bull with a furking great thorn up its arse! “So what” says I “What has that got to do with the dog” “But what are you going to do about it”? And from then on I refused to discuss the matter which was none of his business!

The following Monday I get an answerphone message from this bloke telling me he was going to discuss the dog on his radio programme and asking me to defend my actions over the incident, he would like me to phone in to his radio thing to discuss with him about dog who was very much alive and well therefore my attitude was that there was frig all to talk about. A reminder phone call was treated with equal contempt.

I take pride in the Community Car Boot Sales that I operate in the South West and I am totally a responsible person with over 50 years in the Entertainment & Leisure Industry, I know what I am doing so when we get to the peak season and all the kids are on holidays and the tourists flock to Cornwall in particular to Newquay where I plan for the busy period ensuring as little inconvenience is caused by our activities. So naturally we expect to be busy with both buyers and sellers at our twice weekly Community Car Boot Sales, which incidentally have been running for over 16 years. I emphasise the COMMUNITY because there is NO other activity that is more of a Community atmosphere for all concerned than Car Boot Sales, what do local Councils do to get the Community together? Sweet sod all! So on Tuesday with a good crowd of sellers and an even bigger crowd of buyers and loadsa kids there were up to 3000 people enjoying themselves in the sun and fresh Cornish air.

It is obvious that there will be a slight hold up of traffic around the Car Boot area like there is at Quantrill Downs a mile away which has nowt to do with car boot however some stupid fartesser thought “My god look at all those people and holiday makers and kids and locals and tourists enjoying themselves, I think I will phone Lorry Weed from the BEEB to tell him about the dreadful traffic hold ups caused by a Community event, let’s spoil their fun, lets complain to the BBC FFS!

Of course it was music to Lorry’s ears cos the dickhead can agree and chat endlessly with Mrs Fartess and incessantly about me and my crowds and my Car Boot Sales and I don’t give a monkeys toss because I am doing it for the good of the community STUPID!! There might be a couple of bob in it for me but essentially I enjoy drawing the crowds and they appreciate and love me, well some of them do at least, I hope? Marge is very terse with me at the moment I don’t know WTF I have done must be the change dears.

And before she complained did Mrs Fartess care to look to see just how busy the lovely HENDRA HOLIDAY PARK is (the best in the WEST) with nearly 5000 people on holiday enjoying CORNWALL or did she bother to look at the increase in businesses at MORRISONS and Lidl’s because it is holiday time you silly old nambat. Not that I heard one word the dire tripe spoken on the ‘alleged show’ but I did get three complaints (half his listening audience) to say they thought his item was targeted unfairly on such a successful well organised and brilliantly managed (by me) Community event which was a credit to Geoff and his team and of course about 3000 others!

Footnote!
I did bother to look through GOOGLE to see what if anything is written about LAWRENCE REED and I hate to be the bringer of bad news but there is absolutely (sod all) NO REFERENCE to him on the first page, eventually I find a page about him and at the top of the page it says LAST UPDATED 2009!! Ha bleeding hah!

Now then if you type in GOOGLE Geoff Camden Wiles (that’s me) the WHOLE frigging first page is about ME you knob!! It’s the COMMUNITY stupid! As my friend Nigel Farage says “Who are you” “Who are you” “Who are you” or in Cornish “Who are yer” Its the COMMUNITY stupid!
Ps; I hate the BBC

CHALLENGE!
Read this to your listeners Lorry I dare you!!