I bought Zelda for £70.00 at Newquay Circus Fields a few years ago and my mate Nigel repaired her broken bits and painted her gold and she stays in my office right opposite my desk. I adore her, she is woman without the womanly bad habit of talking all the time FFS!!

And it’s a ‘no I haven’t bonked her’ for those suspicious minded lot but I do give her a cuddle one in a while cos she is fantastic for company for the reclusive old B’stard I am becoming and it’s only come over me since her parents arrived FFS!!