On Sunday I got up out of a warm bed to come to Truro and run a Car Boot Sale in the freezing bloody cold and windy day for just a couple of thousand people and I get FOUR complaints about the dust and the wind! And it’s my fault! AND the four complaints came from the same WOMAN! I decided we would use the main selling field for the sale of seventy sellers because the whole of the sale is on view to passing motorists who break their journey and have followed out signs. I parked up the sellers
and the wife of a large van asked why we were in the field? I explained that we took a vote from the early sellers and they decided to be at the front. Anyway good atmosphere, the crowds queued whilst the sellers set up their stalls and buyers were able to see the BARGAINS as they were unpacked from the loaded car boots. There was a slight alarm when Dave of ‘Got any jewellery luv’ fame almost started the sale on his own! Marge says he had had a ‘funny turn’ as crowds saw him leap forward so followed him but single handed he stopped them as he hadn’t got the HORN!
On my rounds the same lady we will now call Midge complained to me ‘we should have parked round the back’ whilst trying to involve her customers to support her view. By the third time of Midge complaining I was getting a little bit ‘pissed off’ with Midge but kept my cool saying ‘I have no control over the weather just accept that on get on with selling like the others who certainly have not complained’
The sale was a huge success our team of Rachel and Becky and Dave and my gay friend Aussie John as well as Arlin (who never smiles)were having a chat whilst waiting for the last few sellers to leave and Madam Midge stormed to the car demanding to see my privately and walking a ‘safe distance’ away and started an absolute tirade of abuse concerning ‘the dust on my stock’ and ‘everyone was complaining’ and on and on and on (just like Lou) I could see she was getting some agitated so to take the sting out of the tale and to be as abusive back I could only resort to telling Madam Midge to BUGGER OFF which she did! Hah!! I was then seriously reprimanded by Arlin for being rude to customers? How can I win? why do I bother? WTF? Now then, on Tuesday at Newquay Circus Fields first Car Boot of the season only 43 sellers but lots of buyers, Becky and I were chatting about the previous day in particular ‘Midge’ when Becky said “Oh, I had her complaining to me last Sunday about the dust and the wind when we were round the back” You WHAT!
Now then, here is the bottom line about me and Midge, I don’t like large vans at my Car Boot Sales that demand three CAR spaces and only pay for two, its a CAR BOOT sale not a large van boot sale. This lady will be given a warning to behave like all of my other sellers or GO HOME!!
But here is the best punch line out of it all…her husband NEVER SAID A WORD!! Go WOMAN GO! WTF that’s WOMAN POWER! My Lou is a bit like that, that’s how I learnt to deal with MIDGE! (do not confuse MIDGE with MINGE or MARGE)

PS; I know you are not supposed to start sentences with AND but I don’t GAF my lovers.

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