Blog 16.
Now then, I am for deffo not a great fan of the pigging TV so I spend a lot of my time watching American News on CNN and MSNBC stories and yer Youtube I mean, the effing telly is in the pits ffs, I mean have you seen that dreaful fking programme the ‘Australian Gold Diggers’ ffs where some Aussie blokie has his metal detector figging screeming under his feet ‘Yo Aussie boy man dig ffs’ the twat that he is ( don’t be rude about twats geffers) (we love them all) he digs and digs, he scrapes off the soil and yo and lo ho ho he produces the tiniest scrap of gold worth about two and friggin sixpence ffs, he shouts and hollers to his mates ‘ Yo, cum and fking look at this boys ffs, they all stops digging to cum and look at what ffs, they have cum to look at is this find of gold less than the size of a figging pee ffs, they start kissing and hugging almost shagging the lives out of each other with their hi-fiveings ffs and cuddling all this in a king forty plus degrees heat then they start fcuking ‘armpit farting’ to each other spreading and splashing under arm stinky sweat king odours all over sweet frig all ffs, it’s wer wer wank time ffs? (Talk the next bit in a Jewish or Yiddisher or Cornish (who cares) now that makes my blood boil cos I knows that we we that’s us Cornish people (blokes-us-we-men of the real world ffs) we would dig our balls off (painful) and tell not a ficking soul including the missus ffs what tf we had found would’nt we mates? I mean that is so dishonest of me, result!! Who tf would know, I mean just keep schtum my mates, and, and as a dishonest broker I could probably do a deal with you to buy (on the Qt of course) some gold from you for a very special sale offer price taking into consideration my commisssion and percentage costs of course, you do have my number don’t you, but I cannot deal on Saturdays see because of! It has taken me a week to finish one paragraph, more slurping of rum and coke and more toking needed!! But then we would take all of our ill begotten games home and guess what, her indoors would be waiting with the freeking kitchen door hands open “give it to me now” not even a bleeding kiss, isn’t that sweet ffs WAALOBs my lovers!! Back to the story fs!