Welcome to CUBA! Part Three; Now then, for some reason I thought that at the entrance into Cuba that they would want to see into our cases with police and uniformed security staff as I had my rolled-up smokes in a tin inside my case. I remember once going through St Kitts customs and was asked by a lovely Kittitian Security lady why I had been to St Kitts so many times ‘to see a friend’ she told me to open my case which was half full of kid’s clothes, that we had bought from the car boots plus a few small toys for my mate Chalawa’s grand-kids! Her opened the case ffs she found my tin with my smoke stuff her asked ‘What’s in this tin’ I said ‘it’s my smoke’ her opened the tin and replied ‘you shouldn’t do it’ I said “I shouldn’t drink Caribbean Rum but that is another of the reasons I come here to St Kitts” She took my passport noting I had been to St Kitts several times went away to speak to her boss then asked “Who are the presents for” I replied ‘for a friend and his family’ Who is the man? Chalawa! She immediately closed the case and said ‘You can go now’ Wow! Now then, Lee Miles off LTC Catering (a complete and total nervous wreck and wimpish during flying FFS) was with me he had gone through customs because of his good looks (he says) with no problems at all but he had to wait outside of the airport and sweat it out in the afternoon Caribbean sun waiting for me for about 20 minutes “fcuk me man where TF have you been FFS” he was beside himself when I told him “I got caught with my weed” ‘FFS’ said Lee ‘FFS man, now what are you going to do?’ Sweet nothing my bird sweet I just mentioned the name CHALAWA amen! Brilliant escape, I thought but truth is I think I detected the smell of Cannabis on the lovely security lady and she knew or her boss knew of Chalawa my mate ‘King of the Weed in St Kitts’ but that’s another story, and anyway 90% of Caribbean people have at some time in their lives done the weed Legalise it in t Kitts and the shy is the limit to ‘high success’ fs. Lee Miles who never was my mate from his own choosing “I don’t get into stuff like that not friendships, I don’t have friends, that’s not for me” says Miles. Hey Lee I wasn’t making a pass at you, what an amazing statement to make, I don’t have friends FFS? Anyway, he soon calmed down when he saw how beautiful the Kittitian women were and how two beauties who took an absolute fancy to him (he was good-looking in them there days-from a distance) any-ways up without telling tittle-tattle he scored with them big time? I was offered but not interested in any foursome being totally loyal to my Lou (well I was interested but castration was a distinct possibility if I went off the rails FFS) and, And I wasn’t entirely convinced that they there two beauties were not ‘lady-boys’ yer know wot I mean sport? whatever turns you on Lee my lover ‘got-cha’!! Anyway’s up, I didn’t see Mr Miles for a couple of days but that’s another story! Go Lee!! Mate? Now then, (don’t keep saying ‘now then) On arrival at Cuba Airport I was stunned nay amazed as it was the best and easiest Airport in the World the best I have ever known you simply hand in your completed entry form at the departure lounge after customs control then straight out of the Airport into the blazing sun with hardly any waiting for your cases and there to meet and greet you are Thomas Cook staff who tell you your coach number and off you go to witness the most boring unexplored countryside ever. The roads have hardly any other traffic apart from tourism vehicles and hundreds of underfed pony & traps or pony and carriages. People stand around in groups nothing much to do but watch the coachloads of holiday makers, they are not resentful they are ‘the nice people’ I do wish that all of the uneaten foods at these all-Inclusive hotels should be quickly shared amongst local communities instead of continuously re-offering it to holiday makers when the meats in particular look like it’s ‘passed on’ and its sell by date and has curled up and frigging died FFS. (Thomas Cook please note) Cuba is in a time warp from the days when Fidel Castro had his crap argument with America which has been since the late 1950-60s therefore Cuba is unfortunately a backward country with no real investments even though President Obama made efforts to heal the rifts and help to bring CUBA into the 21st century, nice try! That didn’t happen because that ignorant liar and criminal with verbal diarrhoea Donald Trump who has completely divided America shut the door on Cuba and its lovely people, and I do mean lovely people. Cuba has a very good Education and Health system but what the majority of the 15 million people miss out on in their lives is to live in our 21st century. The entire country needs massive investment to provide jobs housing and realistic wages for the many unemployed people. The hard-working waitresses and hotel staff who have children told us that sometimes their kids do not have bread for days and weeks they never ever get crisps or popcorn certainly no Wotsits nor Coca-Cola which are all deemed as luxuries mums and dads simply cannot afford. Really good highly trained staff at the hotels are paid ridiculously low wages of less than £100.00 per month so they do rely on tips which are totally shared. The Cuban kids look much healthier fitter and leaner than some of our beloved fatso kids of the same age, I fear they are not as happy deep down as some of our ungrateful overfed kids who have just about everything in life yet they still want and get more and a lot of them show little respects to mums and dads, the spoilt brats & buggers so they are, dear of them so to speak, but you do have to love them don’t you, or do you? That’ll be a nope then! Love you kids, tomorrows ‘mums and dads’ have fun but no babies until you are up and married dears which has nowt to do with me but you know the loneliness of single parentage is a distinct possibility my lovelies so ‘put something on it’ ffs, valve rubbers are available from the cycle shop for those who are not very well blessed ffs? For our last three holidays we stayed at the alleged ***** 5 Star Marriott Hotel is St Kitts in the Caribbean, on each return home Louise suffered ear infections, she went to the doctor told him ‘just back from holidays etc etc’ he asked “Have you been swimming where there is a pool bar?” sure enough that is where her infections started. So, we were unaware that people sitting in the pool at the pool bar were getting pissed out of their minds with heavy drinking and were not leaving the pool bar for up to 5/6 hours so instead of leaving the pool to have a piss whilst they slurp they piss their pee and any other bodily infections they might have through their swim-shorts or their bikini bottoms G-strings or their swimsuits out into the pools whilst non-stop drinking the dirty Bastards so they are. The urinal waste from these mindless idiots (pee-brains ffs) circulates through the entire pool hence doctors in the UK have to deal with all types of these ear nose and throat infections for all ages because the piss they piss mixes down through to all parts of the pool to unsuspecting mothers and fathers who are enjoying themselves with their young children who are swimming away happily totally unaware of the risks as some swim under water some playfully gobbing it off with getting mouthfuls of this toxic substance then spitting it into dad’s face ffs, that is what the Management call a swimming pool FFS!! Seems like a toilet to me? The dirty bastards so they are, not the management the piss artists!!! The docile irresponsible management of the hotel and of THOMAS COOK definitely know it’s happening but have decided do sod all about it!