Welcome to CUBA; Part Eight

Welcome to the Thomas Cook approved Piss Pool!
Part Eight;
We had a look around the most impressive pool area which had a free bar with ten seats inside the pool for customers. The main attraction was the 4 thatched cottage style open air double beds which I called the ‘playpens’ in front were two bed-chairs so you monopolised the whole area more or less. I noticed that towels were placed to reserve the ‘playpens’ so Geoff was awake at 4.00 o’clock each morning to put out towels on the ‘playpen’ (just like the German’s used to in the old days, still do) every day from day two till our last day that was total luxury, the pool man made sure our mattresses and towels were kept ready from 8.00 am for our early morning swim with clean urine-free ridden germs, we gave him a good tip which he was well worth. We could observe all the activities in the pool and at the bar. At the other end of the pool play-pen number 2 and his missus were most definitely going for their early morning shags in public and couldn’t seem to GAF who saw them, I did! Nothing big to report apart from his hairy arse going at it 90 pence to the half-crown and her screaming “give me some more-is that all you have got FFS!”
We are very quiet people on holiday because we love resting-up and observing people, we have been accused of being snobs, we are not but we do seriously keep ourselves to ourselves and rarely talk to others, we talk and reply pleasantries only. We don’t want to know other people’s problems we have enough of our own FFS! We reckon that having as many as 400,000 customers at our Car Boots every year so we want to just keep to each other. Our people are the lovely Cornish people and their visitors we have plenty of time for them.
The break from caring for mother in law has been absolutely essential. When you have spent 30 years in a wonderful up down in out partnership then suddenly you take on the responsibility of caring for someone who has Dementia the decision takes a massive blow on a marriage. Would I do it again? ‘Yes, Julia, Lou’s mother is a nice person I have a lot of patience with her, now then would my Lou ‘do it again?’ That’ll be a NOPE then!! Back to the story, people have constantly wanted to chat to us over the years because they realise that there is an age difference between Lou and I, all they want to know is all the gossip so to speak. There aint no gossip so to speak, we have been together for over 30 years Louise is my 4th and current wife so far, love is still in the air! x but that’s another story?
The food at this hotel is excellent breakfast lunch and evening meal with lovely waitresses and waiters in fact all members of staff were brilliant and dedicated to their jobs. On day 4 there were about 20 people laying on sunbeds beside the pool, the waft of cannabis is in the air (not from me, I don’t smoke in public) (only on balconies hiding behind pigging towels with moths as company don’t you know FFS) when this loud mouthed new arrival probably 65 years old+ fat B’stard of a Londoner making his big entrance with marbles for brains shouted as he looks at the assembled holiday-makers enjoying the sun on their sunbeds “By the sights I see here most of you lot should be in the bloody gym not lying about here” ‘WAF insult take a look at your slobby self’ nobody rose to the occasion by pushing the idiot into the pool that he would contaminate for every day he stays in this hotel as he waddled towards the pool bar. Here we have a total motor-mouthed gob-shite and his gobby wife (you always get one at least on holiday who want to be the big gobs of the day, every effing day FFS) He/she are the two persons to avoid at all costs as he goes to the bar end of the pool he gets into the pool with his dreaded wife they both start drinking from 11 until after 4 with others ‘mouthing it off’ with the drinks they are are a flowing but neither of them and others who joined them leave the pool for up to five hours and they are drinking it in volumes and are pissing out volumes into the pool so it is without doubt that wherever hotels operated by THOMAS COOK where there are ‘all-inclusive free pool bars’ in Cuba that they shall and do allow people to urinate into their pools. Louise went to reception to advise the head receptionist of our ‘Public Health’ concerns, she was told “I will put a memo about this so that the manager will see it in the morning” Nothing was done. I believe the message was given to ‘I am your butler’ PEPE who wasn’t on the same page as the rest of the staffing teams’ which he dismissed our complaint from then and in his own way tried to turn the staff to ignore us. I had the last laugh by giving his tip to one of the security guards right under his nose and the security man was so delighted he kept shaking hands with me in excitement you would have thought I had given him fifty quid; I did, follow that my Butler. On my original complaint to the THOMAS COOK agent I told him of my concerns and now here we have the five-star Islands Playa Pasquero where the same offensive offence happens on a permanent daily basis against their THOMAS COOK’S devoted customers and the entire Management Team are totally aware of the risks to their customers health and have decided they will do sweet FA about it FFS. I would like to but I am on holiday and in reality, it is none of my business, yes, it is I speak for me my Lou and why not my fellow holiday-makers?

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