August Bank Holiday weekend! What a wonderful weekend with great weather and on offer thousands upon thousands of BARGAINS provided by over 500 Car Boot sellers’ stalls at our locations for the Bank Holiday weekend. Huge success for Mitchell for a record day everyone was happy apart from the moaners who could not take a bit of sun after the piss poor weather we have had recently ‘Oh God’ they moan on ‘I wish this bloody hot weather would stop’ Give it a break missus we have had two days of sunshine and some of you miserable old booters think ‘Oh shit we’ve got another bloody heatwave’ after 2 days? Deal with it FFS! Gossip, but true did you know they there twins George and Leroy (fictitious names to protect their real identity) well one of them George (the heavy one) bought a very valuable rare antique gun rifle scope for twelve quids at one of our Car Boot Sales and it sold recently for well over ‘one thousand pounds’ on eBay, it’s as though he doesn’t have enough money already that there George? Bank Holiday Monday started with our Falmouth Rugby Club 10.00 am Car Boot Sale with 70 plus stalls and lots of buyers including all the regular locals but holiday-makers who according to some of the sellers they ‘spent well’ Falmouth is a nice location with a great happy family atmosphere. Jewellery stalls sell very well with competitive prices however if you are reluctant to sell your jewellery ‘because you do not know how much to ask for’ I can give you the names of very reliable dealers who are willing to give you valuations on any jewellery you may wish to sell. Monday starting at 1.30 pm for our traditional 27th year Bank Holiday Monday which was a huge success in the heat of the day enjoyed by over 120 sellers and up to 2000 men women and hundreds of happy kids getting there weekend treats of second hand toys. We started our first ever Bank Holiday Monday at St Columb Major at 4.00 pm and I admit my stupidity of changing my mind from 5.00 pm as the plan for lots of the sellers from Falmouth and TRURO was to sell at 2 or three locations ending up at St Columb. Sorry my mistake but all future Bank Holiday Mondays at St Columb will be at 5.00 pm giving time for those to do three Car Boot Sales on Bank Holiday Mondays starting at Falmouth at 10.00 am then onto TRURO for 1.30 pm start then on to St Columb at 5.00 pm, happy days! The sellers at St Columb 25 in all sold very well indeed with several stalls taking well over £150.00 loads of buyers turned up to support and yes these events will be a very popular for next year, first Bank Holiday MONDAY at 5.00 pm is Easter! I arrived at St Columb Major to be treated with all the other people to a FREE spectacular Red Arrows Air Display going through their aerobatic routines over the skies and flight paths used normally by the in and out flights of Newquay Airport. Brilliant display and ‘free’ to watch. I kidded some people that I had paid for the Red Arrows Display Team to perform for my customers to celebrate our first Bank Holiday Monday Car Boot Sale at St Columb Major and only 25 sellers turned up and now I am in serious debt FFS! ‘You couldn’t lend us a few quid could you please?’ At the start of the sale the aisles were crowded with buyers and our story starts with a very nice man and his very nice wife and their very nice son who buy a boxed DVD game for £4.00 from a lady stall-holder who was the first seller to arrive. They pay the £4.00 and as they walk away from the stall they open the box and ‘hey presto’ there is no game in the empty box! They return immediately to the crowded stall and say to the lady stall-holder “There is no DVD game in this box, can we have our money back” ‘Certainly not’ says lady stall holder ‘No I will not refund’ the family come to ask me where they stood for a refund. I accompany them to the lady stall holder whose attitude is way over the top as she absolutely refuses to refund! “Madam, you will refund because you had a duty of care towards your customer to prove they are buying what they think they are paying for, you should have opened the box to prove the DVD was in the box, the trusting customer should also have looked into the box but the onus is on you to refund your customer. The lady stall holder got very close to accusing the family of three of stealing the DVD which in my opinion was stupidity. Eventually the stall holder slammed the refund into the fathers hand telling me she was ‘never ever going to do another one of your car boot sales again’ well there yer go, shit like that happens in the real world!! Shortly after this incident I drove home leaving manager Jo-Jo to close up the sale, I had briefed her about the DVD but back at St Columb things were ‘hotting up’ as the lady stall holder not content with my decision for her to give a refund storms up to Paul (Rock on) (who parks cars) who she mistakes for me (should have gone to Spec savers FFS) and the poor sod is just sitting in the catering area having a well-earned cup of coffee and a burger when her starts up “Now then, do you want to finish that or do I start now?” Rock on Paul nearly falls off his chair he looks at the ranting woman and he thinks WTF is she on about FFS! Fortunately manager Jo-Jo comes to the rescue and tries to calm the lady down who was ‘incandescent with rage’ With the greatest of respect this lady was certainly of no size to argue who towered above Jo-Jo but Jo-Jo stood her ground saying if you want to take this up with Geoff then do so but I am not authorized to give you a refund. Further abuse followed liberally assisted with eff words when Dave the catering manager tried to intervene (standing behind Jo-Jo) to stop the abuse towards Jo-Jo. Lady stall holder was equally abusive to effing Dave so with a very effing irate stall-holder lady swearing revenge towards all of effing Car Boots Cornwall and our effing customers and effing manager Jo-Jo so everyone had heard enough effing abuse for one day and them all went home to effing bed FFS!! Jo-Jo phoned to brief me about what had happened after I had left St Columb Major, Dave also contacted and told me of the gross offense the very irate stall holder lady had caused. So to sum up the now ‘aggressive lady stall holder’ and the missing DVD incident has involved accusations of theft against I believe an innocent family of three really nice people on holiday here in Cornwall. She had been unacceptably rude and offensive to other people during the entire incident refusing to accept her seller’s responsibility to legitimately refund a customer. I reserve the right to complete this story but I will not identify the lady stall holder who knows I will write this blog however to my utter amazement she telephoned me at 9.00 pm in a very distressed crying state to say that “When I got home I found the DVD it was in my stock and I am so ashamed of my behavior today and I do apologise to your managers for my rudeness and to the family who I thought had stolen the DVD, I am truly sorry, I would have phoned earlier but I have been crying my eyes out ever since I found the DVD and I am so ashamed of my behavior, I am so sorry” She then cried some more but I did get the impression her apologies were genuine. What I seriously admired about this lady was that after all of the humiliation she had caused by her rudeness and accusations to others she now has the BALLS to say “I got it wrong, it was my fault, I am truly sorry” Her sobbing and confession was so sincere her nearly got me sniveling as well but what an absolute rarity it is in life to get a full on snotting and sobbing apology from a woman “It was my fault and I am so sorry” from a woman? Never!! I mean with us men if we is wrong we always admit it and most of the time when we are not wrong we always apologize just to keep the peace even if we was in the right in the first place so to speak WTF? Dogs; We have decided to have an ‘open policy’ on dogs being allowed at our Car Boot Sales our main problem is that it is not the dogs fault if the owners do not have the courtesy and common decency to pick up the crap that their dog has just deposited in our selling fields therefore at Mitchell DOGS are allowed into the three parking fields but they are NOT allowed into the ‘selling field’ this ruling may be relaxed on Thursdays. At Newquay hundreds of our customers are on holiday and they bring the family dogs with them with the rest of the family to Newquay Car Boot Sales on Tuesdays, so far this season most people have got poo bags and have dealt with any dogs who have dumped inside the selling field. At St Columb I have allowed dogs to be in all areas but it is the duty of the dog owner to ensure you have ‘poo bags’ If any of our buyers or sellers see any persons allow their dogs to crap-shit-dump-turds onto the field where you are trying to sell or buy without the dog owners cleaning up the warm poo please let one of our team know asap but some of your outspoken people will demand ‘clean up that crap your dog has just shat’ There are so many kids around and babes in pushchairs, dog owners ‘show some respects’ please!! And finally, don’t look bored when you are selling at any of the Car Boot Sales it is such a turn off to potential customers who firstly look at your table then you, some of you are using your mobile as a distraction to your boredom is huge turn off. Pretending to talk to someone who is not there is a good one but it is rude and crude you is no dude! The biggest turn off is smoking tobacco and nicotine and blowing the poison chemicals at your potential customers which is sinful! I quite often ‘get the whiff of a sniff of de herb’ when I am told ‘they are smoking de weed over there’! Peace and love. Legalize Cannabis like America giving millions of dollars into Community projects and let’s save all of these countless and painful deaths through smoking death cigarettes which costs our NHS services billions. Be nice to your customers in advance, before you leave home pack up and bring some real BARGAINS be nice to each other and ensure you are looking after ‘what is yours’ as there has been a spate of petty stealing from stalls involving an adult ‘passing back’ an item to a 5 year old child to steal? Regretfully, trust yourself and the person who has just paid you, by the way, put your valuables at the back of your stall to save you coming up to one of our team sniveling but saying “Someone has just stolen something from my stall when I wasn’t looking” Well there you go your security on you stall respectfully is crap. Deal with it!! Geoff X

Reply to

Home page posted today!

Coming soon! WADEBRIDGE Car Boot Sales FRIDAYS at 12.00 noon and CHRISTMAS TOY FAIR dates to follow!!
TODAY FRIDAY the BBC have changed yesterday’s forecast for today so the FALMOUTH Rugby Club Car Boot Sale is On, On, ON!! …………… and then the rain started and has been raining all day long when the bloody BBC said it would not rain until 4.00 pm the bunch of wassucks so they are so there were 6 sellers who turned up and were given vouchers for their next Car Boot so another day when nobody will earn! ……………………………………….. The CHRISTMAS TOY FAIR is a must as it will be held under cover in the Exhibition Halls! There will be a ‘SPECIAL SECTION’ for “CHILDREN ONLY” stalls also for MARKET TRADERS selling approved ‘Speciality Toys’! A great opportunity for all kids to look at their toys and pile up the ones you really do not need (spoilt brats) then you get a couple of your school mates to do the same then (ask nicely) get a parent to give you a FREE LIFT to The Christmas Toy Fair at the famous Royal Cornwall Showground in Wadebridge and ‘hey presto’ you can earn some dosh from selling your toys. Then you can decide if you want to spend all of your hard earned earnings on your parents Christmas presents!! Dream on! Could be good!! Dates and pre-booking details to follow. PS; To put a stop to the constant nagging from my mate Ann I am pleased to concede to her and loads of people that the Car Boot Sales at PENRYN RUGBY CLUB will restart next SUNDAY at 3.00 pm! That’s called woman power by Ann let’s hope everyone supports PENRYN like the good old days! Let’s turn the clock back shall we? PPS; Will someone tell Amelia and Jo-Jo it’s on today at Falmouth at 12.30 pm please? G.

Reply to

Sunday 13th August.
The packed to capacity crowd of over 400 men women and loadsa kids were enjoying the show when the heavens opened and the biggest storm of heavy rain fell upon the Circus Marquee sounding as if there were a war going on outside as the heavy rain stotted onto the tent then suddenly all the lights went out with a power cut throwing the Marquee into mild panic. In a very orderly fashion they left the marquee with mums and dads getting a head to heel free shower in the pissing driving sodding effing rain FFS running to their cars somewhere in the mud followed by complaining brat kids as they all go slip sliding into the muddy ground and the stotting rain poor sods. The drivers of about 200 cars then go slip sliding all over then getting stuck in the mud thus ruining the field for our next morning Tuesday’s Car Boot Sale! Hilarious fun!
I know Kenny the Circus Boss was very upset but I could only see the funny side of those poor customers making their way home drenched to the skin ‘Oh shut TF up kid’s it’s only a bit of rain FFS’ one customers was said to overhear from a distraught father. Isn’t it amazing how father can be such a decent bloke and an utter b’stard at the turn of his ignition key as everyone drips rain all over his car seating and the windows steam up and he cannot see a frigging thing in front of him? Isn’t life wonderful FFS! Did you enjoy the Circus Daddy?
Tuesday Morning 15th
Kenny texted then phoned to tell me that the ground was so bad that in the interest of Public Safety I should come and see the ground. We agreed without me inspecting to CANCEL the Car Boot Sale so at 7.00 am I now have a problem. If a Car Boot does not go ahead today there will be a lot of disappointed sellers who have packed their cars in readiness to sell. I call David Leggo to ask if we could transfer the Car Boot from Newquay to Mitchell. We discussed the impact of the overnight rain on the ground conditions and he agreed to inspect the field to decide what to do! Twenty minutes later he phones from the field and BINGO let’s transfer todays Car Boot from Newquay which was a stunning success with loads of new buyers taking a break from the heavy A 30 traffic and of course all our regulars who spent well on ‘those stalls offering bargains’ to all and sundry, a most successful day with little damage to the well maintained and well drained fields. Thank you David!
Wednesday at St Columb Major went ahead with drizzle and heavy rain in the forecast which resulted in heavy rain throughout the South West spoiling our chances to go ahead with the Car Boot Sale on Thursday at 12.00 noon at Mitchell and an early morning call with Landlord Leggo we decided to cancel the sale in the interest of allowing the field to dry out hopefully for this coming Saturday’s Car Boot Sale at 12.00 noon, field inspection 8.00 am Saturday my lovers.

The packed to capacity crowd of over 400 men women and loadsa kids were enjoying the show when the heavens opened and the biggest storm of heavy rain fell upon the Circus Marquee sounding as if there were a war going on outside as the heavy rain stotted and snotted onto the tent then suddenly all the lights went out with a power cut throwing the Marquee into mild panic and complete darkness. In a very orderly fashion they left the marquee with mums and dads who are all getting getting a head to heel free shower in the pissing driving sodding effing rain FFS they start running to their cars and they have forgotten where TF they have parked somewhere in the mud followed by complaining brat kids as they all go slip sliding into the muddy ground and the stotting rain poor sods. The drivers of about 200 cars then go slip sliding all over the field getting stuck in the mud thus ruining the field for our next morning Tuesday’s Car Boot Sale FFS! Hilarious fun!

I know Kenny the Circus Boss was very upset but I could only see the funny side of those poor customers making their way home drenched to the skin ‘Oh shut TF up kid’s it’s only a bit of rain FFS’ one customers was said to overhear from a distraught father. Isn’t it amazing how father can be such a decent bloke and an utter bastard at the turn of his ignition key as everyone drips rain all over his car seating and the windows steam up and he cannot see a frigging thing in front of him? Isn’t life wonderful FFS! Did you enjoy the Circus Daddy?

Tuesday Morning 15th
Kenny texted then phoned to tell me that the ground was so bad that in the interest of Public Safety I should come and see the ground. We agreed without me inspecting to CANCEL the Car Boot Sale so at 7.00 am I now have a problem. If a Car Boot does not go ahead today there will be a lot of disappointed sellers who have packed their cars in readiness to sell. I call David Leggo to ask if we could transfer the Car Boot from Newquay to Mitchell. We discussed the impact of the overnight rain on the ground conditions and he agreed to inspect the field to decide what to do! Twenty minutes later he phones from the field and BINGO ‘we have a Boot Sale’ let’s transfer todays Car Boot from Newquay to Mitchell which was a stunning success with loads of new buyers taking a break from the heavy A 30 traffic and of course all our regulars who spent well on ‘those stalls offering bargains’ to all and sundry a most successful day with little damage to the well maintained and well drained fields. Thank you David!
Wednesday at St Columb Major went ahead with drizzle and heavy rain in the forecast which resulted in heavy rain throughout the South West almost all night spoiling our chances to go ahead with the Car Boot Sale on Thursday at 12.00 noon at Mitchell and an early morning call with Landlord Leggo we decided to cancel the sale in the interest of allowing the field to dry out hopefully for this coming Saturday’s Car Boot Sale at 12.00 noon, field inspection 8.00 am Saturday my lovers.

Picture of Ann who has helped promote Car Boots Cornwall and Penryn for many years that’s why she’s got a Gold Pass see!
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Reply to

Home page 13/08/2017

SUNDAYS 2 CAR BOOT SALES at St COLUMB MAJOR at 1.30 pm TR8 4JA & at PENRYN RUGBY CLUB at 3.00 pm TR10 8N
Two Car Boot Sales to enjoy the first one at St Columb Major at 1.30 pm Our advice is to come early to sell there will be huge crowds in the area for Boardmasters plus the influx of thousands of holiday-makers. Bring some BARGAINS the customers of St Columb are great spenders. Our second venue back by public demand is PENRYN RUGBY CLUB TR10 8N Car Boot Sales at 3.00 pm which will run weekly up to the end of October subject to weather. Good for kids toys and kids clothes loads of household stuffs and loads of stuff women enjoy buying only to shove it on the shelf when her gets home and forgets all about it FFS! and for him? “Carry the shopping back to the car pay up and shut up” says the wife who is the boss of the day! Enjoy your day and be nice to each other even if you don’t really mean it. If you buy any real bargains why not bring them to show me for my honest opinion and please don’t be offended if I say it like I sees it my lovers! Go on, I dare you! Be good and honest so why not have an honest moment and tell someone “I love you darling -but”? ……. Geoff. X

Reply to

Home Page 6th August;

SUNDAY 2 Car Boot Sales St COLUMB MAJOR at 1.30 pm and by demand PENRYN Car Boot Sale at 3.00 pm!
St Columb Major Car Boot Sales are on twice weekly WEDNESDAYS and SUNDAYS at 1.30 pm. Sellers should arrive at least ONE hour before set-up time which is 30 minutes for each start time. Whilst setting up your stalls no-selling no-buying no-reserving! Right! Strictly set up your stall and be prepared for the rush of customers eager to buy bargains galore! The spending today at Mitchell was amazing with many sellers claiming record takings with hundreds of happy children buying toys galore with their pocket money all at very low prices. No incidents no complaints Mitchell today was good car boot for the local Community and our guests from up-country or overseas for them to ‘take time out’ for a couple of hours and come to Mitchell on Saturdays at 12.00 noon. We know we are doing more for the our local Community than Cornwall County Council ever do or did! Enjoy your day, watch out there could be someone wanting something for nothing out of you pockets or someone wants to steal from your stall, do not blame us my lovers look after ‘what is yours’ don’t allow nor contribute towards theft from you or your friends but then keep an eye on your friends as well FFS! You ask Jeremy Kyle!!
……………………………………….

Sunday weather was good Car Boot weather but the only problem we has all day was that the grass at St Columb was uncut from two week ago and was hard going looking for lost dogs.
One dog incident a man brings a Jack Russell to the Car Boot and the dog goes for another dog by sinking his teeth and wont let go FFS! Owner of the Jack Russell has to throw himself over his dog so that he would release the bite that Jack R had on the other dog. The owner of the other dog not a young man was bowled over in the kerfuffel gathering a crowd of tut-tutters! I was called to the alleged ‘dog fight’ which was all over as the owner of the Jack Russell took his disgraced dog back to the car!!
Nasty dogs them there Jack Russell’s our Nana Moon is the blow up version of the average sized Jack’s and can be such a nasty bitch at time particularly if other dogs ‘wish to smell her bum’ FFS! The amount of times she has been dragged away because she does not approve of a stranger dog getting up close to examine her arse, no way FFS FRO!!

Reply to

HOME PAGE 30/07/17 and comments

TODAY at TRURO INDOORS/OUTDOORS Car Boot Sale at 1.30 pm £1.00 admission adults KIDS free!!

Due to heavy rains Hayle and St Columb Car Boot Sales are CANCELLED for today! TRURO Cattle Market is an under cover location and the only Car Boot Sale at 1.30 pm Public admission £1.00 kids are FREE! Today’s forecast has improved so we will probably sell inside and outside you decide? This could be a good day for sellers and buyers! Please Note; KITCHEN KNIVES are not to be sold to any person who looks under the age of 20 years old unless they are accompanied by mummy?
Be honest with each other at today’s Car Boot Sale with your wheeling and dealing and with the greatest of respect to our community from Europe please do not barter unreasonably! To offer someone a pound when they ask for a tenner is bloody rude and some of you Poles are the worst offenders even though I love you all but ‘polease be polite and you men polease use our toilets indoors and not the grass verges nor behind sheds FFS (I will get pictures) and don’t forget to ‘Pole the chain’

So this is what happened Hayle was off St Columb was off Withiel cancelled because they did, right! But good old Car Boots Cornwall had Truro Cattle Market on standby which resulted in over 1000 men women and there kids enjoying themselves and but of course the ‘winners of the day’ were the sellers whose tills were jangling with loads money and truth to tell there were a lot of bargains also truth to tell ‘there were a lot of crap’ as well my lovers!

It looks as though PENRYN Car Boot Sales will be resurrected from oblivion as from this coming SUNDAY Louise and her team will restart the CAR BOOT SALES at 3.00 pm at PENRYN Rugby Club this coming Sunday whilst I will be running with my team St Columb Major at 1.30 pm

I was chatting to some of the ‘big spenders’ the dealers (allegedly) who reckon they could buy at St Columb at 1.30 pm and still have plenty of time to buy at PENRYN for the start time of 3.00 pm! Amazing challenge BARGAINS at two Car Boot Sales within two hours!

Dealers also tell me that the ‘best Car Boot to buy’ is Mitchell followed closely by St Columb Major but the holiday makers love them all but prefer to buy at NEWQUAY!

Now then, did you know that loads of holidaymakers from up-country come to buy at our Car Boot Sales here in Cornwall and all the items they buy will end up being sold at other up-country Car Boot Sales at very much increased prices making our holiday-makers loadsa profit! GO Cornwall Car Boots and its wonderful for the sellers and GO buyers who arrive with their saloon skips (sorry cars) to carry away our unwanted’s to other Landfill sites up country far far away from our beloved Cornwall.

Welcome to all holiday-makers please do not push in at our Car Boot Sales and please do remember only locals are allowed to buy the bargains in the first hour. Thank you, please remember your poo bags also some for the dogs and ‘do not dump the doggies dumps into our Catering Bins! Take em home you brought them with you didn’t you? Oh yes you did they were in the dog FFS!

Seriously welcome, we hope you enjoy your stay. If you have anyone in your party who has Dementia introduce them to my mother in law and they can chat for hours on end and not know WTF they have been talking about, but it gives the carer a break for a short while (please) FFS! Give me a break!!

Geoff

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Reply to

HOME PAGE posted today!

Coming soon! WADEBRIDGE Car Boot Sales FRIDAYS at 12.00 noon and CHRISTMAS TOY FAIR dates to follow!!
TODAY FRIDAY the BBC have changed yesterday’s forecast for today so the FALMOUTH Rugby Club Car Boot Sale is On, On, ON!! …………… and then the rain started and has been raining all day long when the bloody BBC said it would not rain until 4.00 pm the bunch of wassucks so they are so there were 6 sellers who turned up and were given vouchers for their next Car Boot so another day when nobody will earn! ……………………………………….. The CHRISTMAS TOY FAIR is a must as it will be held under cover in the Exhibition Halls! There will be a ‘SPECIAL SECTION’ for “CHILDREN ONLY” stalls also for MARKET TRADERS selling approved ‘Speciality Toys’! A great opportunity for all kids to look at their toys and pile up the ones you really do not need (spoilt brats) then you get a couple of your school mates to do the same then (ask nicely) get a parent to give you a FREE LIFT to The Christmas Toy Fair at the famous Royal Cornwall Showground in Wadebridge and ‘hey presto’ you can earn some dosh from selling your toys. Then you can decide if you want to spend all of your hard earned earnings on your parents Christmas presents!! Dream on! Could be good!! Dates and pre-booking details to follow. PS; To put a stop to the constant nagging from my mate Ann I am pleased to concede to her and loads of people that the Car Boot Sales at PENRYN RUGBY CLUB will restart next SUNDAY at 3.00 pm! That’s called woman power by Ann let’s hope everyone supports PENRYN like the good old days! Let’s turn the clock back shall we? PPS; Will someone tell Amelia and Jo-Jo it’s on today at Falmouth at 12.30 pm please? G.

Reply to

Mitchell Saturday…………. 8th July
What a super day with seller’s queuing from 9.00 am for our 12.00 noon start at Mitchell yesterday, the ground had been prepared and presented to perfection by landlord David Leggo the weather was ideal for Car Boot Sales. Landlord Leggo does an exceptional job in preparing Mitchell for us and our customers and he is so proud when he sees the joint communities enjoying his land at our Car Boot Sales. He had numerous offers from a few of my enemas offering to run Car Boot Sales but David demanded the very best and here I am!! If I sound big-headed you are right, I am the best thing that EVER happened to Car Boot Sales in the South West and did you know that I get offers to run Car Boot Sales in all parts of the country as long as it is not Cornwall FFS’!! What sort of attitude is that, we live by the river, do drop in some time!!
This has got to have been the best ever Mitchell sale as I have witnessed so many bargains being taken back to their cars by eager buyers then back to get more special offers. All stalls were laden up with every possible item you would ever need in your lifetime including furniture plus a stunning amount of good quality and brand named some brand new with tags and second hand clothes at BARGAIN prices especially in kids and young babies clothing. There were quality antiques plenty of jewelery and to keep all the kids happy there was a huge selection of BRILLIANT toys for both boys and girls at ridiculously cheap prices. If you are selling at any of our Car Boots and you have your car for sale it is a great idea to advertise it with a large sign saying “Car FOR SALE” with details mileage etc. Two vehicles were bought and sold last week one at Mitchell the other at St Columb, if you do sell your own car at any of our Car Boots and you are a seller then we do not want a penny extra, good luck!

I chatted to several happy buyers and sellers (one stall-holder claiming over £400.00 takings or so I am told) the atmosphere was of total contentment, my mate Michelle was leaving with her lovely children and her equally lovely mum Sue they were laden up to the hilt with loadsa carrier bags some hanging off the sides of their pushchair both happy and content with all their purchases and bargains. They were rushing off home to get all their bargains put away before ‘he comes home from work’ dear of them all. The times I hear people mainly the ladies say ‘he will go mad if he knows I have bought this crap FFS’ truthfully it is not CRAP but one stall-holder many years ago another mate of mine and Lou’s is Kim who was somewhat offended by Lee Miles the catering guru of Roseworthy Farms when he took a look at her stall that she had spent an hour setting it up and he said ‘it was like an effing landfill site’ I mean how rude is that FFS or was that another one of his cheap chat up lines! Every time I see Kim now her I think ‘Oh here comes Mrs Landfill’ Kim is the greatest asset to our Car Boot Sales and over many years has given incredible value to ours and her customers. Loved by all, dear of her. X
Many readers and probably locals will have heard of Withiel a small local village out there somewhere with some houses celebrating indoor loos in some of the posher houses, no more press button B on their public telephones neither me ansum, nicer people you couldn’t wish to meet or so it is said? Only 114 streets to go and they will all have Electricity and ITV FFS. Anyway at Withiel they have a car boot sale on Sunday’s and the owners will cancel like we does at short notice a Car Boot Sale if there is a possibility of damaging the ground conditions due to the Cornish peeing down weather. The owners get well criticized but they are nice people and I am on their side see! When the sales do go ahead I am told by loyal friends that I am the subject of loads of gossip also loadsa ill-informed information about me and Car Boots Cornwall.

Let me totally assure all-comers that Car Boots Cornwall have not lost TRURO Cattle Market Car Boot Sales cos we will be there on August Bank Holiday Monday and from September we are back at Truro as we have been over the last 20 odd years, it is our main winter location see!!
Let me also assure some of the Withiel gossipers of doom car boot sellers (not locals) who seem to open their two faced mouths and let the wind blow their tongues around that we WILL be at The Royal Cornwall Showground when the dates are finalized with the manager who is on sick leave at the moment, so wait for the dates to be confirmed which will hopefully be on FRIDAYS probably the 18th at 12.00 noon soon see! Watch the HOME page for further details. Now then, could someone please read this next paragraph to my mate Jim?

Not only am I the centre of ‘Ye old gossipy folkers of Withiel FFS’ I am also the punch-bag of dear old Jim frequenter of Hayle Rugby Club Car Boot Sales also of “I don’t park cars any more” fame who believe it or not (don’t) cos he puts a whole host of lies about me as he ‘queues up’ with all the other buyers.
(Hayle Rugby Club Committee moved with the times recently and copied the way that we (that is me) Car Boots Cornwall operate all of our Car Boot Sales which is the only way to run Car Boot Sales in total fairness that all customers get an equal chance to ‘get to the bargains’ instead of all the bleeding dealers all of the time, much as I love the dealers ish. (Wake up Rosudgeon) This infuriates the royal Jim ‘wot ever next me aving to queue FFS’ there are also a few of my other enemas who have to Q as well ffs which is why I am so loved at Hayle! Jim Says “You know ee as ad Truro taken off im, oh yes” whilst other people in the queue who know the truth overhear his total put down lines against me and they all know full well that he still has not recovered from his lifetime illness of verbal diarrhea or a case of the permanent shids FFS!
Jim also knows full well that when we first met I (I that is me) was asked by the Committee of the Falmouth Rugby Club if I (that is me) because of my great background would I (that is me) run their Car Boot Sales at their famous club. I said yes!! The date was 1989 and todays date in 2017 we now celebrate 28 years later of running up to 9 Car Boot Sales weekly during peak season! Now then, Jim my bird could have done exactly the same as me but oh no ‘ee’ prefers to be an armchair critic of CBC sooner than get off his fat backside and run a few boot sales then ‘ee’ could have become the real expert like me see!! Another thing about Jim and other critics (jealous munchers) is that they say they ‘never ever read Geoff Says cos it’s full of shite man” (true) yet they quote from Geoff Says line by line all of the time FFS!! I wish all of my crony type critiques the happiness in their lives that they deserve cos somebody somewhere must love those FFS, God loves them (allegedly) dear of em!! Hope their kid’s play them up something rotten see! Go for it kids scream and scream and scream until you vomit! Hah!

WINTER LOCATION!
Anyway just to steal the thunder you will know that we are at our new summer location at St Columb Major which is highly successful on Sundays at 1.30pm and the new Wednesday’s at 1.30 pm will start to get popular as the peak season starts. The Landlord has offered us WINTER Car Boot Sales at the same grounds that are used for the very popular St Columb Major Point to Point racing. He has also agreed that we may use the large outbuilding which will park up to 50 seller’s cars inside and in the dry in bad weather with further selling spaces on the hard standing, there is also grass parking for up to 500 buyers cars. I believe we will run this WINTER LOCATION at St Columb Major twice weekly not sure about which weekday but certainly SATURDAY will be popular. Times and start dates to be agreed, more to follow, oh and by the way we WILL be at TRURO during the winter as well!! Now put that into your pipe Jim my lover and smoke it and I bet he says “Onest it will not work mate, I mean a Winta regular car boot wot a stupid MF idea, it will not werk!! Watch this space mate!! For the record Jim is a really decent likable man and he has a great sense of humour and I enjoy winding him up because according to Jim I (that’s me) he thinks that I am an r-sole, yes I agree but I don’t talk through mine dear Jim!!

Regular readers will know that Louise’s mother has moved in with us since her husband died in December, Julia has Dementia and is unable to look after herself so big mouth me says ‘let her live with us’ Truth to tell she is no bother really it is Lou who gets completely impatient with her mums stupidity whereas with me after a couple of spliffs I think she is hilarious she is my daily entertainment but my Lou gets so teasy and guess who gets it in the neck all of the time? Me of course FFS! I had bought a new unopened 1000 piece jigsaw for a pound at Mitchell car boot to amuse Julia but to amuse our 7 month old Chiwawa pup she gave him several of the pieces ‘to do his own jigsaw which of course he chewed up! When we checked the puzzle at the end there were 12 pieces missing, gone and obviously shat on my garden FFS hilarious fun, silly moo!! I have now given her the extra job with a small bucket and spade and I send her in the garden “it’s hunt the missing jigsaw pieces and pick up the dog-shite time Julia” seriously she has a good sense of humour she has Dementia but she is enjoying her life, Yo!!
Mealtimes though can be quite an ordeal, Lou and I have always been chatty together but Julia does not converse much apart from talking non-stop jibber-jabbers to the dogs which rather kills the atmosphere! We can be eating our meal when suddenly Julia will break down crying but she does not realize why she is crying FFS she is also unaware we are sitting there which certainly adds to a geet let’s fork-off atmosphere to the meal whilst I get up to grab her a tissue before she snots all over the frigging place FFS!! I have had for several years great problems with cramps and immense pains in my legs especially during the night so about 3 of 4 in the morning I get up make myself a hot drink go to my office get on my PC put on some decent music couple of smokes rum & coke toke to toke and an hour or so later my pains are decreasing and I am feeling a bit more civilized, bliss! (by the way my doctors and the hospital know that I use Cannabis to self-medicate for my pains so that idiot Troll Neville who has written several abusive emails to me stating ‘I am going to tell the Police about you smoking weed’ shut TFU-FFS! So does half of the Camborne population FFS!
Anyway back to Julia, yesterday I get up bleary-eyed and my legs are considerable pain it’s 4.00am I am in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil when suddenly Julia bursts into the room fully clothed hat coat scarf made up to the hilt carrying carrier bags full of clothing and god knows what else? I say ‘Julia, it’s four in the morning, where are you going?’ “I have just had a phone call from my brother in Cheshire and he is coming right now to pick me up then I am going to meet Gordon (deceased husband) and my mum and dad (both also sadly deceased”) ‘Julia, you have not had a phone call my lovely’ I suggest you go back to bed and I will bring you a nice cup of tea and biscuits’ she disappears back to her bed I take her tea and biscuits she is fast asleep in the morning I take her breakfast, she is in bed still fully clothed from her night time of imaginations and with all of her bags still packed surrounding her on the bed, she is fast asleep still with her hat with smudged makeup spilling onto her fizz looking as though she had been out on the piss all night FFS!
When she surfaces about ten I ask her ‘Julia, Where were you off to at 4.00 in the morning?’ She does not remember a thing about her alleged brother’s phone call nor of wanting to leave the house without transport. However she gets a strong bollicking from Lou and a mild bollicking from me resulting in the house being like Fort Knox with keys hidden everywhere to prevent her from running away with all of her carrier bags trailing behind her, at least that is what Lou thought. I do not think Julia has the balls for that she knows when she’s onto good care and attention she is just like her daughter who likes to be a bit of a drama queen now and again and to get into the limelight and draw attention to themselves FFS.

I do feel sorry for people with Dementia but it is up to the supporting family to be really positive for the patient and with the patient who most of the time is unaware of the pace they are losing their ability to work and think and look after themselves, Julia cannot even make herself a full cup of tea which she over sugars forgetting she has just put sugar in, yuck! She will read an item then completely forget she has read it or what the item was about she will then read it again and again. But if you ask her about pound shillings and pence or boring history she knows all the answers, she is absolutely no problem to me in fact I quite like her pottering around talking endlessly to Nana Moon and my Chiwawa ‘Mahwhilly’ about sod-all but she is a much nicer person than the biatch she used to be when her was a teacher. I am of course totally aware that things will change in her personality and that one day soon she is going to be a total pain in the arse and an awkward cussed farting aggravating snarling snot dribbling old bitch bugger to deal with, bit like me really. Bring it on FFS!!
On the plus side we are moving to a larger house very soon where she will have her own space and so can we. There are about two acres of grass to cut. The previous owners are leaving their noiseless ride on mower, I have this wicked plan to teach Julia how to drive it and mow the two acres night and day-day and night going up or down or straight or round in circles that way she make up her own jigsaw pattern FFS or whatever, just do wot yer wanna do, go for it girl!!

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This is a despicable act against a family who adored their pet dog Chiwawa called Bentley. He belonged to the young daughter!

“Whoever you are scumbag you do not realize the absolute hardship you have caused to the entire family by stealing their precious dog Bentley”

I appreciate that the family should have taken the dog with them or LOCKED the dog in the Car but the man was only away from the car for 2 minutes which gave the thieving bastard the opportunity to steal Bentley!
However some members of our team were wearing ‘body cams’ as a form of security yesterday. I have asked them to trawl through their film during the Car Boot for any evidence or hopefully a car Registration number! I know ‘it’s only a dog’ but this type of act brings the safety of all dogs into question! How can I win, we are trying to run Car Boot Sales, not Crufts FFS!!

Did you see anything? Read the family e-mail two items below this;

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The sound of the HORN!

You will all know that we start each Car Boot Sale by blasting a horn at the advertised start times and as soon as the HORN goes off the rushing and running into the sale from hundreds of buyers is a sight worth seeing but then you get the moaners who can’t run complaining “Look at them just like vultures” ‘no they are not they are looking for BARGAINS’ but the stupidity is they don’t know where TF they are running to or where TF the bargains are as they frantically look for something to ‘shove on eBay’ within the next couple of hours or so! But from my experience of watching buyers in a rush-run they are quite often the losers. It seems it is always the quiet ‘take your time’ buyers who are the winners.

Our Marge and Rita and Sylvia and Betty are the perfect example as they go quietly in different directions from stall to stall looking for collectables or just something for the house or the family. Over the years these lovely ladies along with hundreds and thousands of other similar buyers have bought some amazing and stunning bargains and being nice to all concerned and not bartering too heavy and paying reasonable and realistic prices for their purchases. These customers are the backbone to the success of Car Boot Sales which make it such an attraction to our annual holiday makers who come annually to Cornwall and who spend lots of money at our sales.

Market Traders are well received and display great bargains for whoever wants to buy them but some of these traders arrive, set up their stall, serve a few customers take a couple hundred quids and drive off leaving girt great gaps in the sellers lines which is hugely disrespectful to the genuine car boot sellers. Much to the dismay of a couple of traders who were seriously pissed off as I have introduced a minimum 2 hour stay period but the majority were delighted with the new ruling.

Big Steve the Rock Man actually complimented me on the idea saying I was a ‘gent for looking after us pensioners. What utter sarcasm! Anyway a customer asked me if Steve was gay. He certainly is not he is always advertising for a lady up to 90 years of age who likes a bit of his rock now and then (and then again) but she must ‘have her own tractor’ FFS! The reason the person asked me is because Steve has signs on his windscreen STEVE and BRUNO. No my lover, Bruno is his pigging yapping crapping papping stupid mutt of a male excuse for a miniature pedigree dog. The dammed thing was under Steve’s table yesterday yapping away resulting in yet more complaints from Hyacinth Bouquet who told me ‘Steve has got a water pistol which he shoots at Bruno when he barks and it stops him straight away’ “No it doesn’t the bloody thing is still yapping, he should try sand, that works”

My mate Chalawa from St Kitts has ‘somewhere in the bush’ a Cannabis Plantation where he employs 3 ‘banned’ Pit Bull dogs that are big and ugly bastards required at all times ‘don’t effing bark’ to protect The Herb from intruders and monkeys. These dogs were gruesome buggers and you could see the war wounds on their faces but when all three take a liking to a ‘white man’ it is not a pleasant experience I can assure you. Chalawa and his sons laugh as I plead with them ‘take the ugly bastards off me please Chalawa FFS, he say “They like you man, dem never tasted white meat before man” one more puff on his giant spliff it seems I am seriously ‘on my own and I dare not poop my pants in case that turns the hounds on even more FFS!! Anyway the way he trains them ‘don’t effing bark’ is to throw sand in their eyes and they soon shut up. So would I, it would be like the pepper sprays the Police use only 10 times worse getting all that gritty sand off your eyeballs FFS!

Life is a beach-and then you marry one?

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